bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №119253
 09.10.2015
Although there is some risk. Just three days ago, the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize laureate bombed the 1999 Nobel Peace Prize laureate. 22 of the dead. So, after receiving the prize, you still need to make sure that it is you who will bomb, not you.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №119252
 09.10.2015
The ring quality is superb, I was hit by the car in it a day ago, whole)) only a small stone left

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №119251
 09.10.2015
Nikita Mikhalkov only recently learned that the world existed before his birth.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №119250
 09.10.2015
Sanctions, fragments... What do they want to scare a man whose household duties from five years of age included cutting the newspapers for the toilet?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №119249
 09.10.2015
A friend sent a photo of breakfast with a pack of medicines and a cup of tea.
I: Oh, I also have here at work always ready: polidex, naftyzine, maxicold (the same hexoral), strepsils, neo-angin, fluimucil, paracetamol with analgin, durex, halls and for every case immodium.
Friend: Durex also from cough?)))
I: Yes, so that no one gets the wrong throat.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №119248
 09.10.2015
We take evolutionary things too close to our hearts. As the change of seasons in nature with decay - the bloom, and the country and the terrain. They blossom – they bloom.
My opinion is that Russia will be saved by robots. Road robot, robot tractor, robot combination machine, etc. I have a farm in the area - so a hundred years ago 150 tons of seed needed a whole village for a month-and-a-half, and now two people on the machinery are playing it.
Productivity needs to work for the machine, not the man.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №119247
 08.10.2015
[Woman] I looked at the amount of my upper clothes on the hangover)
And she understood.
You are not married to a man.
You just have a harem.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №119246
 08.10.2015
Pleased with the overwhelming degree of inadequacy in the requirements in the job description (type: "Confirmed successful experience of finding interesting offers for co-investment") - have already begun to demand(!) availability of certificates. I am silent about the fact that an analyst must now be a accountant, an economist and a treasurer at the same time. It is a real feeling that in order to be taken to work with a salary of 50 p. Your father should invest 80 million in this company. Backs - then maybe they will accept...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №119245
 08.10.2015
XXX: I’m crazy about her! All so slim, beautiful, with indisputable logic and beauty! Great architecture of the app!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №119244
 08.10.2015
Hanging on the fence with the wind.
The Wind Rolling Paper
Missing dog, missing dog
A dog named a friend
“Young man, could you sing your songs away from our chamber?

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №119243
 08.10.2015
rutracker, commentary on the audio book

Yes, the reader is terrible, and the quality of the recording. There is no better voice than that. Worse, in my memory, there was only a whispering, cardy man who read the poems of Brodsky without expression, but, as it turned out, it was Brodsky.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №119242
 08.10.2015
O man, act on it! Read the story of a girl whom he called a fool by mistake:

"Other TP persistently ignores system warnings"

Children from 11 years old (!) He put his soul in his book. I created it for 6 years!The girl is about 17 now. Probably another schoolgirl. I am curious, many schoolchildren have a job to repair the computer themselves? Or an experience that makes it easy to avoid such difficulties?

Here you are obviously older... and your emotional intelligence and logic are at zero.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №119241
 08.10.2015
XX: How to increase efficiency?

YYY: Own or foreign?

XXX is yours. Someone knows how

You are asking a man,
Who wants to put a cupcake in the bathroom because of
Dirty dishes in the kitchen.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №119240
 08.10.2015
bogosverch: today proved to the headmaster that sticking the straps is a great administration activity, which is not for everyone. Главбух stated that the payment of the prize is also an art for the elected...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №119239
 08.10.2015
October 7, the first snow. I am passing through the sink. The cockroaches inside open champagne.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №119238
 08.10.2015
Resolution of the head of the AHO on the application of an employee on the issuance of special clothes - pairs of pants: the issuance of adin pants.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №119237
 08.10.2015
To the names: we have a contractor with a long non-Russian ancestral name majesticated by Sindbad Morehodovich, and what, it looks a bit, and he doesn't mind.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №119236
 08.10.2015
XH: My phone is almost half broken now.
XX: In short, it was so. Prehistory: I had a brick from the nineties for a long time, according to the principle of "call - and fine". I recently bought a smartphone with a serious TTC. I found my old credit card today, and Pin surprised me.
XX: I went now to McDonald’s cheeseburger to eat, paid with this credit... and then the impossible happened - the notification about the operation I was performed, it turns out, comes with SMS, soap, a special attachment from the bank, another kind of hernia unknown, and also for some reason on the mortgage. Each warning has its own sound. So, the poor smart got stuck with the priority of this disgrace and gave it all in bulk.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №119235
 08.10.2015
I have a friend before I donate blood.
The day before, an apple struck a nail.
She insisted so much,
Then she ate him and went quietly to donate blood.
Hemoglobin, said, which increases this way :D
The wrong recipe
For Himalayas you need to lick the rail.
The Twin Ice Effect

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №119234
 08.10.2015
With geektimes: discuss the article about the gaming world.
Author of the article: "Everyone who is “stricken” will be happy to pose or take a photo with you"
Question 1: Are they cosplayers? Why offend people that?
Chapter 2: What Is Insulting? A wonderful word, which is often much more relevant than “cosplay”...
Commentary 3: Comrade Barthert has about this. Because he makes a selfie while drinking his smoothie, against the backdrop of the cosplayers, rather than being photographed against the backdrop of riddled drinking a fruit drink.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna