Enigma: The modern shredder is wrapped in more than 40 parts. Dispersing it, and then sewing it back so that the same results, is a red-eyed worse than genta collection.

and ihatemalife:
I was going with a girl all week to my house, to another city.At the last moment she says to me that she can’t go because I have something wrong in my chest, the feeling is not good. Well, as a man, I stumbled, said you go and it's all there.
In general, the trip was not of luck, because she was constantly grumbling, did not react to my jokes, and generally sat 80% of the time with crossed hands.
She told me at the end of the trip, “I said, I have a feeling.”

In the summer, I went to the river alone. Two weeks ago I got a cat - active, ready to play all day, had to buy toys. I picked up a bag from the evening (a towel, a book, a bottle of water). In the morning, I come to the beach, shake a towel, and the folds come out: a ball, a rabbit's tail, a poppy, a mouse...
Apparently, the cat decided that I was bored and decided to donate a part of the toys. I had to play scenes on the beach between a puppy and a mouse. Not in vain he tried!

Liska

>> He’s heard that there’s some such technology, let’s say XML. He worked in the company, and at the next table was a guy who knew something about XML there. This is already written in the resume - XML.

OP-OP, now I know what else can be added to my resume!

My family is on vacation by car. Father in the driver, mother in the front passenger and a five-year-old son in the back. This son pulled out of his nose a fatty goat and pushed into his mouth.
What do you do, you can’t eat chickens!
Dad: let him eat, or the whole salon will get dirty!

I decided to bring my girlfriend home for the first time. And I live in a private house, large - three "corpuses" connected with each other by small transitions. I tell her, you say, while you go here, and I take a shower.
Within 15 minutes I got out of the shower, the sms came. From a girl. “Maax, I’m standing here in a corridor, there are two ficus, a big window and a table that’s cracked, fun. Tell me where I am and how to get to you?and "
Now I have to paint a map. for the visitors.

From opennet, discussion of the new google:
In general, from the point of view of the Chromebook, I can confidently say that Samsung has not two, but three designers - one holds the MacBook Air, the other circles, the third makes another billion small coins.

This fool is watching movies and series in English, and when someone comes, he clamps his nose and translates it with a disgusting accent.

I also thought yesterday that I was sober until today.

My husband has a bag. When he wakes up, he begins to sneeze desperately. I get up before him. Accordingly, when I hear the chiche in the bedroom, I immediately bring him a cup of coffee.
Yesterday he said:
I have a wife! I don’t have time to sneeze – immediately fresh coffee serves.
The fucking...

Today at the post office. A 3-year-old girl asks her mom: “When will we leave here?”
Mom: "Never..."

of Latvia. Interview with a colleague from Norway (both builders):
I: Listen, are you not robbed in Norway?
Norwegian: Why, they are stealing, of course!
First they build, then they steal.
First they steal, then they build. For what remains.

You will not argue! and :)

The little son came to his father and asked the crumb:
What’s good and why do you mind everyone?

How do you usually get to your hometown: by train or by plane?
WOW: In general, if I have time, then on the train, and if I...
Zzz: and if there is money, then on the plane

Montserrat Caballé in Yekaterinburg suffered a micro stroke.
She has not seen Voronezh yet.

And what will the RPC do if aliens arrive tomorrow and say, yes, for several tens of thousands of years we have crashed on your planet. Bab was not taken in the flight, so they fucked the kidnappers and so you got out... What then - the gold will be returned to the parishioners?

Aesorokin: A sixteen-year-old girl, having given birth to a second child, received 250 thousand from the state and lilies from her mother.
I think my mom is wrong. The food keeper carries money into the house. =) is

There was a circus today – a goat was unleashed! Dad was not home! I was like - in Vietnamese in cowards and maika ran out on the street, catching this pascua! We are afraid of each other, and this creature is running fast!!! There were also slugs on the hips! And that shit goes on! And I looked like an idiot when everyone around was in jackets, even though there was a jacket?! I was in a cowboy.)

According to the rzelułatts ilseovadny odongo anligyskogo unwiertiseta, not yemt zanchnejaya, in cocoms prriokde rsapoželenny bkuvy in the salve.

Here and I, when I saw the advertising shield "First outlet in Russia!", was somewhat confused

Mania: About the bookcake it was a joke, I don’t want to put it into practice all four!!!! to
My friends, let’s break up.
Odin: we quietly walk apart, surround ourselves, and then...