bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №71813
 20.10.2012
The mail, the mail... I’m tired. I really had a fist.
The mother-in-law died (he was a good man) The husband gave authority to the inheritance (dacha). I came to the register, I request the necessary documents. I explain that it is a matter of inheritance, I show a certificate of death, authorization. I am told in response that the owner of the house has not issued such a document and no one but him can do it. I was asked to bring the owner with a passport. Otherwise, they will not give me the docks I need.
I spent 5 minutes looking at the death certificate.
Then in the same place.
Are the Geodeticists Coming?
I – I do not know.
So ask your husband.
My mother-in-law made the docks through a credential to some realtor. My husband doesn’t know either.
So ask the mother-in-law.
And you are the mail... the mail... This is where trolls multiply.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71812
 20.10.2012
I came from work and saw three of my cats break down the keyboard trying to get out of under the buttons of the cockroach..I sit the glue keys pulled out with the root soft but blatant nail-like legs.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №71811
 20.10.2012
A modern politician is a person who always chooses his own well-being between protecting the interests of the voters and moral principles.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №71810
 20.10.2012
Today I call my eight-year-old son to the computer, I say:
Do you want me to show you your school from the satellite? She is like a palm!
The child is undermined, looks with interest, pretends something and with poorly concealed hope gives:
- Dad, can you hit the satellite now?

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №71809
 20.10.2012
Lucy left me.
Okay to you! You will have 100 more!
A hundred more? God, for what reason?

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №71808
 20.10.2012
and ppc. I am going to the medical department today. The boys sit down and discuss:
I am taken with prolapse.
2 and I am sick.
And so for whom. Here I go to the stomatologist, he looks at my teeth, gets a calculator, what he thinks and says, “You are not fit.” Remove the calculator and call the next one.
The kids are watching me :D

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №71807
 20.10.2012
As for the post of Russia, since it is so popular here:

He was on a trip to another city, neighboring Moscow. I forgot my official card, I was sent by post to Russia in a envelope. It came through through (!!!) Exactly in the middle. I don’t know what to do with it that would have two layers of skin and cardboard pierced. There, apparently, triangulation is happening.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №71806
 20.10.2012
What to buy in the store?
Wife from food?
Wife: take chicken, cream, vegetables
Wife: and a tool for washing toilets
Husband: I will not eat to wash the toilets!
Wife: And with the creampie?

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №71805
 20.10.2012
Translation agencies are finally overwhelmed - they need "legitimate translators"... look, shops will begin to recruit "strong loaders", and airports - "sighted dispatchers".

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №71804
 20.10.2012
Around July, I noticed the strange word "slupok" on Twitter. And I think – what does it mean?

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №71803
 20.10.2012
xxx: We had a cross-shelf poured out of the roof, the net lay.
xxx: I saw our odmin approach him with a cable tester
XX: thinking that no one sees him, shakes his hands in a characteristic posture
xxx: and basically so: "Well what, pre-wet crocodile!"

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №71802
 20.10.2012
On the other hand, orders from the military committee and other similar letters, informing of our duties to the state, the Russian Post delivers in time.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №71801
 20.10.2012
Suslichek
I was in the contact group yesterday.)

Red Fox (08:26:32 19/10/2012)
For what?

Suslichek
In short, there school survey organized, type put their photo and under it the choice of Hogwarts faculties... well I did not choose, wrote PTU )))

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №71800
 20.10.2012
I: I throw away the rest of the house payment.
A: What is the rest?
I: Well you left me 10 pieces, and I had to pay 8750
A: Blessed
A: Yesterday I was crazy.
I : why? 😉
A: I bought light tickets here, one is worth 1250. In the evening the hyax comes 1250, I thought the ticket was cancelled. Brain Hour 2 Fucked RJD Support
I am :D
and ROFL

[ + 51 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71799
 20.10.2012
Advice on mail
I have experience
NEVER sign up for receipt and in principle do not sign anything without checking the package!
If you have signed up, something is wrong. You cannot make any claims.
You have already confirmed that you have no complaints.
Ask them what they have to tell you.
for example if you signed and opened the package found instead of the iPad - a brick. and all. your problems.
not signing and seeing in the package brick shell them, and demand your iPad or go to court. And they will reimburse both the cost of the iPad and the cost of all legal costs.
Experience is. And not once...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №71798
 20.10.2012
I woke up yesterday and I was sick. I did not go to work.
The next day I woke up and it was okay. But I did not go to work anyway. Is it suddenly shattering?

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №71797
 19.10.2012
Customer to the designer: "This image is not suitable for the cover of a book because the person is smiling on it. And the repair shoulder can’t smile!"

[ + 42 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №71796
 19.10.2012
Who understands dreams? I dreamt that I go to bed and see a dream in which I go to bed and see a dream, etc. What is this?
YYY: to overfill the stack :/

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №71795
 19.10.2012
Today in the book I saw the book "How to Build Relationships" in the Myths / Fairy tales / Legends section.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №71794
 19.10.2012
From the thematic community JJ "It is time to roll":
Is it possible to move to North Korea in some way?
Just don’t go anywhere for a while. Wait not long.

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