bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №148174
 14.01.2018
# load

And why are men so actively challenging this all?
Do they really not see how much a woman is pulling on her, or is it just beneficial to deny it?
I don’t believe that 80% of the blind are selfish, but observations show that.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №148173
 14.01.2018
I received a letter from a colleague:
"Dear xxxxx! Did I not lend you a book "The Secrets of Excellent Memory"? I can’t remember who took it from me to read it."

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148172
 14.01.2018
Three ha-ha The Sunday. My husband and I are on holiday. I woke up not so early, at 9:30 a.m., I cut and soaked the butter, then my husband went for breakfast. I washed the floors, cleaned the cats. My husband smokes and reads in the kitchen and drinks coffee. I took off the dried underwear, folded it, dissolved it in the closets, prepared what to smooth for tomorrow. She made a simple salad: tomatoes, cucumbers, Beijing cabbage and olives. The husband sat behind the compass, asking for lunch. Eating a salad. I washed the pot. She cleaned the potatoes, burned the potatoes, put out the potatoes. Remove the tree and toys. I realized that my husband's button was broken, I need to shake. Wash his gloves. She wore and wrapped a plate. She bite. I read the book, 20 pages. Dinner and washing dishes. My husband took the rubbish. It turns out in the dry rest - I turned all day, rested for two hours, and my husband worked for 15 minutes and rested all day. I like to go to work. I am not so tired there. And they pay for her. Yes, the child is an adult. Even if I didn’t walk with him or feed him, or else I would go crazy.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №148171
 14.01.2018
Oh, this magical woman from the initial quote. And she went to work and when her husband came from work, she had time to wash the kitchen. I would have taken her from her husband, or even simply not to find equal rights.

Oh man, look around. Take the first and take the first. I doubt that there is at least one crap in your surroundings.
There is the impression that such concepts as shift work, freelance, part-time work in the decree in your world does not exist. And yes, the woman in the decree to care for the baby, and not for the old man, works her content on the night feeding.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №148170
 14.01.2018
The first commandment of the parasite: bite the bite, but so as not to cause excessive pain.

As Leonid Sergeev sang in the "Song of domestic animals",

The blood of people.
You can drink indefinitely.
But with a smile,
Warm and hearty.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148169
 14.01.2018
xxx> I dropped the refrigerator
xxx> Blowing up
xxx> How are you doing?

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №148168
 14.01.2018
The Neradence: Oh. I went to the ECG for hospitalization today.
Neradence: I’m sitting on the decryption, aunt what’s measuring there, writes. Then he asks, said, and you were already with us, what.
was was. Three weeks ago.
“Oh,” said the aunt, “that’s what I see, the cardiogram is so familiar.
Neradence: It’s honest that I’m recognized by the cardiogram – something new in my practice.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №148167
 14.01.2018
In general, all these statements about the wives of the deceased women remind me very much of the old joke as the pop hired a maid. What kind of...
And what she does is, well, got up early all breakfast prepared and rested, dishes washed and rested, children in the kindergarten school taken and rested, machine hard loaded and rested, for the foods went down and rested, came laundry unloaded, things dry up hanged and rested, beds shot, floor grind washed and rested, food prepared and rested, husband from work tired came, and she fed all, laundry washed and again sits laundry smoothed and rested. In general, she only worries and does what she is resting. Is it so difficult to do lessons with the children, wash the bath after all, collect your husband's lunch for work? It does not work in the mine.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №148166
 14.01.2018
Cold here

>> It is too busy.

How long do I have to put my powder on? Tired of...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №148165
 14.01.2018
In order for people to love you, it takes very little. Just smile and not say what you think about them.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №148164
 14.01.2018
I am looking for a wife, preferably from 23nd. Find your favorite
Was it possible? I am looking for a wife, in the district of Luberc-Kurovskaya, except for Vljanka, Oravska, Chrypanj, further everywhere.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148163
 14.01.2018
Yesterday I saw an epic canvas: our children were sucked to the school wifay from MacBook and pumped a broken 10k through torrent... To put the correct version of the Pascal on it! I tried to hint that even putting Ubuntu and picking up the desired program, since it is so capricious, under the wine would be easier and more effective, but I was not believed. On the other hand, if their ineffective solution in their hands will work, it is already good, optimization is a profitable thing. So, what am I complaining about? Our children, having succeeded in getting attached to the school wifay, raise as they can the system to work in pascal. Flag in hand. Today I saw – tried already to establish, proved...

[ + 46 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148162
 14.01.2018
In one contact group on the question: "How did you spend the weekend?"

I’ll tell you how... you’re hanging.
He came home from his night shift, sleeping.
I brought food, robbed his apartment and, I think, cooked food. The lover wakes up and wants to eat. And I cleaned up so that I was straight like in the operating room (he has a doctor - it's important).
And I’m so bored... let’s think I’ll take his notepad and turn on some muzzle harder.
I took, turned on and directly in front of me his correspondence. With Janet. Thank her for the cool night, kisses, romance and so that she doesn't jealous him to Alina (I-Zhenya).
The banana I ate, I began to rhythmically smash my foot on the carpet.
Then I read his correspondence with his best friend. There I figure out as "a prostitute"....shuyali I don’t know.
Also irrevocably removed his almost finished thesis and research. The backup is also removed. The hardest thing was to suck in a mouthwasher. He is a dentist. Neither Jane nor Aline wrote. This is not my thumb anymore. Dressed up and gone. I ordered a pizza and went to a friend. Noot left it in the place where he writes about what I am.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №148161
 14.01.2018
While the seed was cleaned on the seed, I was driven to ride on... a bull. I thought, and what I was not a cowboy:D. I sat down and went to the squad. Mishka treated this loyally, but telka didn't like that I crowded on her husband and she removed me with horns from him.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №148160
 14.01.2018
Found in food. How interesting, I think, non-trivial and something so unfathomably familiar...Majoran, right? No, not he. The Rosemary? It looks like, but not rosemary. I didn’t put spices in this chicken at all.
Oh, that is a jolly!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №148159
 14.01.2018
Over the years, 30-year-old girls are getting younger and younger.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №148158
 14.01.2018
Specialist in Survival

From home to my place of study the whole night trip by fast train. I am a student, trying to sleep on the lower sidewalk near the exit. At one of the stops, I hear a grandmother telling the driver to let her in the car. He refuses, says there is no place. The grandmother regretfully asks, say, it is very necessary, not to go for a long time, she is ready to stand in the tambour, just let go!

Finally, the conductor regretted it. In the tambour, the truth was not allowed to stand, allowed in the car, there is warmer, winter still. The wagon is flat, people are sleeping on all the shelves, and the poor grandmother is standing alone in the passage. Five minutes later, as the train touched, she said to me:

Son, are you not sleeping?
and no.
“Let me sit in a corner near your feet, or my legs are old – they don’t hold anymore.
“Sit down, grandmother, I’m not sorry.

10 minutes later, I fell asleep and heard:

"Son, you would have cut off my legs a little so that I could back on the wall, it's hard to sit.

I cleaned. Time passes, the wheels knock, it smells. Through a dream, I hear someone shake my shoulder:

Son, are you not sleeping?
I will sleep!! to
You are my son, give me your place. How many third shelves are free, am I not going to climb the old on them? You are young and sleep there.

I listened to what she offered me in full seriousness and such a laugh made me laugh. Only an hour ago she was ready to go in a tambour, and now she survives me from my place!

She looked at me as if she were a judo, even moved away a little. I laughed and said:

Thank you for the offer, but not. You were allowed to sit, here and sit, and again you will wake me up, you will have to stand in the passage again.

The grandmother was upset, gathered her kittens and headed deep into the car. A moment later I heard her voice filled with familiar complaints:

“Son, I can sit here from the corner...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148157
 14.01.2018
My wife is worried about my erectile dysfunction. We have different views on her cause.
She bought me Viagra, I bought her a running track.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №148156
 14.01.2018
In the bus, the bus user enters:
How long is it to Kurilovo (there is a village like this)?
The Driver:
I will not take you.
The User:
Why is?
The Driver:
- I don't want - then added - another bus through Kurilovo goes
It was fun on the bus :)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №148155
 14.01.2018
XX: I play well in principle.
XXX is here.
It is unwavering, it is steel, it is the will to win.
XXX: what can I counter a man with a nick "Kirghiz egg"?
XXX: I can’t do it.

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