Something I forgot today that my son’s name is Misha.
I come home from work. The wife's question from the room:
and Misha?
Who is Misha? * * * *

Is it normal to tell a guy that you want him? x )
Art of course)
and AAAA. You are all >_<

They are angry.
I am angry with the advertisement of a deodorant in which the driver’s cheeks explode.
>_<

Commentary

Driver: I am so angry.

I am angry at the explosive that was thrown into me.

Director: tomorrow begins the shooting of a new advertising roll "medicine for constipation".... where the runners!

Reply: Do not have to!! to

Deodorant: And I was just doing it...

From Torrent:

XXX is people! The movie is shit! Someone to jump, please!!! I have to give up, rating is low!

Husband (going in signed medication boxes):
Where do we have condoms: in the heart or in the vitamins?

She just opens some hall of another theater and book places, drawing out a word. That’s how she met a guy :)
Yes, to all the disgusting about the occupied places a great greeting - because all this happens at night sessions, when people are almost not there ;)

One of the most successful jokes of past times belongs to the Englishman Horatio de Vir Cole. He distributed carefully selected tickets to the theater to men with baldness, as a result of which looking at their glowing skulls from the top row could clearly read a rough word.

Unfortunately, in anticipation of great happiness, many do not notice the small joys of life.

The shop of sofas came to us. The new model is called Ruslan. In principle, there is nothing extraordinary about the fact that sofas were brought to the furniture store, it is so, unless we consider that the carrier we also have.
Ruslan was. No, it still exists, but for us it already exists. There was one story here.
It all started with the fact that the same "Ruslan" - which sofa, bought from us one extravagant lady. Even in the store, all our brains were shattered: then her color was not the same, then the packaging was broken... When she left, everyone breathed with relief. As it turns out, early...
A week later, a call came from the director’s office. You know who called, right? Of course she. She promised to leave us all: from taxpayers to firefighters. The couch, you see, was broken.
What exactly broke, I can't explain, but it breaks and blows so that the telephone tube has warmed up.
The director is sweaty, calls the Russians, well, who is not a couch. She says, make money, she doesn’t joke, tomorrow we’ll get squeezed out of the checks. Go and see what’s there. Maybe there is something for five seconds, and if anything, explain that we will replace the furniture. Rusik is a good soul, and has already been mocked. The air pulled into himself so that the director did not hear, his head sneezed and waited for the address to be named. The director calls, says, I'm sorry, now we'll send a special. In three minutes everything will be fixed, he is already on the way, you only tell the address.
The next day, the Russians did not come to work. A day later too. This has been the case before: he will get into traffic jams, slide, break and can not get to work, but he at least called. They conducted a small investigation, and the director remembered where he sent him. It calls. The dialogue, in his words, was as follows:
Are you Elena Sergeevna?
and yes.
You are worried about the furniture store. Did you have our specialist?
Yes, he is here now.
Sorry, can you tell me what the reason is? Such a difficult break?
Can we replace the sofa? You know, we need a specialist here.
He and I decided he would no longer work with you.
...?... Sorry but why?
The work of the loader is not for him, he is capable of more. I have no time to talk to you. Do you still have questions?
...?... What about the sofa?
We are well without him! As they say, happiness is not in the couches. to Goodbye.

On the computer desk of Patriarch Kirill of All Russia the icons “Network Environment” and “My Documents” were blown up.

Ozzy Osbourne posted the following post on his Twitter diary (from September 24):

I just passed the driving exam. It took me 60 years, but I did it! For the first time in my life I got the right to drive a car, so be careful!
____________________________________________________________

How lucky that we live on a different continent :)

In response to:
Loneliness is when you sit alone at home on Friday and Saturday, drink beer and read the poor.
— — — —
Joy is when on Fridays and Saturdays you sit alone at home, drink beer and read the poor. Fuck to Fuck!! to
Everything is relative, everything is relative.
Do not sit at home, go to the theater. Warm, dry, fun, cute ladies

Sturmman Georges

Android is
by Fuck. The TV engineer caught the flies for a week and ripped off their wings, now these fools go unnoticed on me when I read some news.

Vo1
Fuck you there, I look at you.

xxh: decided to keep a daily list of expenses to control where the money goes
by mmm
HH: Here’s what I got:
15.09 – Lunch – 100 r
16.09 – Lunch – 110 r
17.09 - money on the phone - 100 r
17.09 – Lunch – 90 r
17.09 - coffee (drinking cups) - 200 r
from 18.09 to 23.09 - PIZDEC - 1550 r
And where did it happen?
Fun is not cheap))

The cry of a girl during an orgasm is one of the most beautiful sounds of nature.

XXX: I am in shock.
YYY: About the matter?
XXX: I go to the subway, the peak hour.
In the middle of the car is suspiciously empty.
XXX: I go over there and see this.
xxx: A dumb meter scale in full combat painting of skinhead
XX: All clear affairs are kept away from this subject.
YYY: Is it all so bad?
XXX: No, not so much. This is a murderer with a tail and quite rocky.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
xxx: It is worth, the music is listening to all so pleased, the head in the tact swings.
xxx: I was so curious, I look through my shoulder into the phone on which the player is launched and what do you think is there?
Yyy: Andrei is losing? ))))
XXX is fucking! and Vivaldi!! to
YYY: O_o
XXX: I have something to say about you.)
YYY: Well what you wanted. Peter is the cultural capital.
xxx: Ugu )) Peter's cultural skinheads, such cultural))))))

The servant in whom everything: and the turquoise serpent in the ear, and the anointed multi-colored hair, and polite body movements - in a word, all denounced the man of the newest, perfected generation.

XXX: I will go to the field, I will drown at that berry foam
YYY: Could I hang myself on that stream?? to

<nochchucha>: Well talk to me :( Which genre movies do you like the most?
<GRom>: Pornography... and teenage and crying

I go to the subway, the train stops at the station and stands, stands, stands... The silence is dead, I hear the words of the song playing in the headphones of a guy. Suddenly someone’s cell phone starts ringing, the military right of me gets an old nail, reflectively looks at the screen and starts a conversation:
The radiator is listening.
In a few seconds:
Oh, you are the obvious!

xxx: Classmates burn: in the album of a friend under the photo warning of the moderator: Blocked!
The reason: more than one person on the photo and the comment does not specify who you are.
Nothing but in the picture she is riding a horse.