As Aldous Huxley said, “What if our Earth is the hell of another planet?”
What if heaven?

At the seminar on intellectual property, students (C) 5 course and lecturer (P)-a young unmarried girl:
Q: And what about the Anne Statute, which introduces copyright, have you heard anything?
C: Well, once you mentioned it, it exists, and it was once adopted.
Q: Maybe it is my imagination?
and laugh. The noise. Commentary: This is the case.
P (on elevated tones): Quiet! Or I’ll beat you now!
Q: Is that your imagination too? O_O
The Curtain

I graduated 22. I recently got a good job. I called my best friend about this. I decided to go to the club and celebrate. In the club she flooded and flooded everything.
I wake up in her apartment in the morning and say good morning. She’s a beautiful girl, but she’s still my friend. And now worse:
1)I must marry her, otherwise she will file for rape (her ancestors work in the judicial system, i.e. I will buy right away)
She didn’t wear a condom at night, so I’ll soon be a daddy.
She was in love with me from 10th grade. and long developed a plan for her "happy life with me"!
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Or maybe for the better? You already have a good job, and now there will be a beautiful wife, and a perfectly understanding of you, with whom you are interested in spending time, otherwise you would not call her your friend. Children are the flowers of life and the best thing that can happen to a person. I think all fucking!

Yesterday in the universe someone wrote on a paper: "Who's the textbook on the ceiling" and sent it in rows. Everyone, like fools, raised their heads and looked for this textbook. Today went a paper with the signature: "Who’s socks on the luster". The people guessed, did not raise their heads until the priest asked, "Why does this so smell?"

The movie White Mist, I watch in the cinema.
A dialogue inside the crashed Russian aircraft.
The plane crashed in the 1950s. The MiG 32 has not been flying for 50 years.
The voice from the hall- "flows, flies"

You also live alone, sleeping on the couch next to the bus and don’t understand why you need a couch?

She: O holy prostate!
He: E... either there is ignorance of grammar and punctuation, or the birth of a new religious cult!

by M89:
Do you sometimes save the world from a nuclear bomb by turning off the microwave for a second before it starts feeding?

Goodly communicated in one of the hospitals of Yekaterinburg:
"Deliver feces and urine in containers, show respect for yourself and the doctor"

he is (08:12) :
What are you doing now?
She (08:12) :
Coffee please
he is (08:12) :
And about what?

Sitting with a friend, drinking beer, word-for-word, it was about his new projector...
It became interesting, and whether it was possible to project the image from the height of the 6th floor on a transformator booth standing in the yard.
I have not seen such a circus for a long time: children with open eyes, baptized grandmothers, enthusiastic teens...

According to the most modest calculations, the diagonal of the screen was about 2500 inches, and for the test video a friend chose tough porn.

Happy Birthday, dear Google! For 11 years, you have been hinting at us that Putin is a crab and advising us what to do to let go!
Ura to!

We are sitting over a virus that tries to get stuck on the unix server by picking up a password for the Administrator account. Poor, I’m sorry for him, he reminds me of a sperm in his ass.

I wanted a serious long-term relationship. The teenager. has passed.

When we care about the future, we make our past.

It was in the distant eighties... I began to serve in the north of the Army Air Force, i.e. our helicopter squadron was assigned to the motor rifle division for combat support. And here the division took some exercises with the landing of reconnaissance in some remote area. The landing was carried out by a helicopter of our part. The commander of the squadron was present at the preliminary meeting with the commander of the division and on the question of what is needed to ensure the landing, he said that it was necessary to clean up the snow flat ground (the case was in winter) in the size of 50x50m and that somewhere from the edge stood a column with some flag or cloth (to visually determine the directions and the approximate force of the wind). The commander of the motor gun unit who was present at the meeting recorded everything in good faith and said that everything will be done in the best way possible.
The exercises began, we look forward to the return of the helicopter after completing the task of landing, finally he arrives and the pilot of the mother and at the same time laughing, he tells the following: with the landing he flies to the perfectly cleared from the snow site and sees - exactly in the middle a pillar is digged, a brightly painted flagship is attached to him... Apparently, the principle of the corrupt phone worked: the commander of the unit put the task to the combat, the rotting, and when the team reached the squadron, he understood everything in his own way.

He was so polite that it seemed like he was about to fuck.

to this:

Loneliness is when you sit alone at home on Friday and Saturday, drink beer and read the poor.

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One hundred plus one hundred!!!! to

I talk to a girl in bed. It is complex about its appearance.

D: I have thick legs, my eyelids are short, my hair is liquid.
I: Don't be afraid, sweet, soon, literally in 3 years, this will not be appreciated.
Q: What will be appreciated?
Food and ammunition, of course.

What a joke for the girls:
We agreed to call one on the internet and meet. They write to me, like I’m never the first to call, so here’s my number 89. I will call in 10 minutes. I am calling, no one is calling.
Three weeks later I see her again in the tyrant, asking what a joke, so she answers me: "A-a-a. It was you who called me! I don’t pick up the phone if the number is unknown.and "
The curtain!