bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №148114
 12.01.2018
A guy suggested a girl to find his penis among photos of 200 male penises.
And if my girlfriend asked me to find her vulva among 200 others, I would consider it all.
3: My master gave me plans for the evening - to play together in some interesting board. I’ll ask these guys to send me both sets of photos, I’ll print and offer him an unparalleled author’s development game. It is called - "Finding matches"!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №148113
 12.01.2018
This would be the arrest of the German military columns in the morning of June 22, 1941.

And so in the end they did. and Nuremberg too. The rest is just a prolonged resistance to arrest.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №148112
 12.01.2018
You cannot infect a duck with a computer virus by changing its behavior. It is not possible to maliciously reprogram the shell. You cannot use the hidden vulnerability in the goat.

No, it is the same there. The chicken, for example, has an exploit with positioning - it can be caught in a coma simply by turning it right.
A phenotype is to train climbing trees. This is common in Asia.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №148111
 12.01.2018
“When you throw away a thing, you decide for all people that they don’t need it, although it doesn’t just need you.

Do you eat my hamburger?

I thought you’t offer.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №148110
 12.01.2018
Ministry of Emergencies of Tatarstan ʙreleased recommendations on baptism swimming.

Πeʙem pynκtom is prohibited to swim before the sanctification of the water of the RPC. And only then prohibition to jump in the water with ice and octalnoe.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №148109
 12.01.2018
...will be called "uncontractual"

They will not, because before the deaf consensus is used the "bess-" prefix.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №148108
 12.01.2018
You should not scare children: "Now that uncle will take you!"

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №148107
 12.01.2018
Working hours

We had a great time at school: the year all together toys and curtains were sewn, then a couple of years all together on a tower machine were made. And the dividing board made by me is still in use in the family (with love drunk and tricked))). And we also made chains of wire and cleaned the coins with a stitch. I liked this lesson much more.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №148106
 12.01.2018
Pads and tampons are needed several times a day daily for 4-7 days a month (i.e. 12-21% of the days of a woman’s life during the reproductive age. But you don’t need them once, so it’s easy to round up to "once a month". Noacho, you don’t need it – so no one needs it, take it. A striking percentage of men who already have a family and family, but never understood the simple truth: they are not alone in the world, and in the house too.

The logic of men
Men’s Arithmetic

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №148105
 12.01.2018
Washing machines have two modes - delicate compression and raider capture.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №148104
 12.01.2018
ΠAru days ago I was withκanano by the management that the sale of insurance ʙ the priority ʙ our office, a covceem ne to what you vce xotite. Yes, I am in the mail.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №148103
 12.01.2018
Lenin's dream of the chefs who ruled the state greatly aroused the prostitutes and scammers.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №148102
 12.01.2018
In 2001 I bought my first apartment. In a two-storey house with two entrances. In each entrance four apartments, two on the ground floor. I bought on the second, on the first one apartment was empty, and in the other lived a strange family - two women and three children. One of the women was very nice, named Tatiana, always polite greeting me and stopped talking - how the repair and so on. The other was a foolish hysteric, constantly wept on the children with a good mat, turning into a whisper of envy of the circular pile. Something broke down and they fought.
I could not understand how such different women get along with each other. I was very sorry for Tatiana. It took me about six months to find out that there was no second woman.)

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148101
 12.01.2018
Here I like our political talk shows: gather a few Jews from different countries, diluted by a couple of Armenians, and let us worry about the fate of the Russian people.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №148100
 12.01.2018
XXX: The result is good, but I’m not sure it’s right.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №148099
 12.01.2018
My father is better than my mother. My uncle is cooking so he is invited to open a restaurant. Brother is constantly mastering some excellence and soon will stop entering the door not only in height, but also in width. The husband does not prepare such a large range of dishes, but those he knows - perfectly, he also bakes candy on holidays, so that when I am on a business trip, the wolves are whole, and the children are full... And these men at work, like everyone, "strictly strangled ballayks and burned with a cross", rather than baking cakes. So whoever really wants is looking for a way, and whoever does not want is looking for a reason. Enough of nuts.

[ + 35 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №148098
 12.01.2018
A thoughtful conversation by the programmers in the afternoon:

- Hmm, listen, and in DELETE there is ORDER BY.
The pause... no. Everyone is equal before death.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №148097
 12.01.2018
I have to go and goʙI have to go and go. By the way, by the way, by the way, by the way, by the way, by the way, by the way, by the way, by the way, by the way, by the way, by the way, by the way, by the way, by the way, by the way, by the way, by the way. I’ve got to say that I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say I’ve got to say you. Myz ʙazʙal ccopy. Ppibʙshee doctopa ctpanno glazieli na mna. I heard this: “This ppoctitytky na penтгen, ppozpenie na apπendicite.”

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №148096
 12.01.2018
Against the backdrop of the applause about poor pensions, I can say: I have not seen such a number of retirees at any time of the day in the pool, even in public transport at the peak hour. From their reasoning, which swimming pool in the city is better, where the sauna is warmer and the buffet is more varied, I felt like a bowl with two jobs, which in some centuries scratched on a pool subscription.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №148095
 12.01.2018
ΜOi whoever wanted to punish, whoever loved me, and whoever suffered me ʙ kpoʙat liveʙyuu snake. Counted by KOT. I have appreciated.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna