dj_koRRy: We brought our first cat to adults from the boiler shop, from the factory. He was the only cat who was not afraid of the vacuum cleaner.

I love our translators.
I read my daughter’s book: “Sorry, but Tom has to go. Tom has a large farm. At home he is waiting for his wife."(Punction saved)
I could not read further.

95% of the population:

Why hasn’t mankind ever guessed how to make apples into low-alcoholic drinks like wine?
Chel, if wine is made from grapes, the equivalent product from apples should be called apple.! to

There is only one word: Siddhartha.

Q: Do you go back to school? I was in the bus yesterday, there was a guy standing there, and at the moment of the bus turning, I grabbed the order and ripped off my legs from the floor, well, it turns out that he was on the sides like a pendulum, on turns. Everyone is watching, smiling, and I am sitting down and putting up the forces that act on him to fuck!

Googled again.

Question: Do your kids wear shoes at home? My sister, from morning to evening, cries to her son – put on shoes! Wear the shoes!

Answer: And he laughs in his moustaches and continues to walk in dirty cracks naked.

I work as a psychologist. Today, a 16-year-old boy was brought to the reception, who, according to his parents, "sits in this computer all the days."
We talk. It turned out that the boy was so passionate about playing Starcraft. I ask the self-assessment question: "What achievement do you consider to be the highest". The answer killed.
I once fucked a dog.
and???? to
With a marinade!! to

Recently I heard a fairy conversation of her girlfriend with her mother:
Mom, I fell on my foot.
Mother in horror:
The new one???! to

My friend sells paintings. One of them was dark: a full moon, a lonely tree without leaves, a background so black-violet. A terrible spectacle.
Three emo... Looking for a long...
One says: "Beauty!!!and "
The second is "Yes! You look at it and you want to live!"

In the courtyard there are several iron frames parallel to each other. Half a hundred vortices from all over the district took care of them, and now Bibisi can make films about vortices in our yard. The birds do everything they can. on the frame you can already hang the tablets: a bathing machine, a dryer, a chatter, a rocker, a rocker, a bedroom, a barbecue, and, of course, a bordel.

Comment on a single color printer on the website of one network of computer stores:

I have one. In general, the printer is for printing colored documents, torpedo boat schemes and advertising of glucose mushrooms. For printing money is categorically not suitable, the photos on it are as if a person was photographed early in the morning, after the evening taking a good dose of alcohol and a sleepy night in the waterland.

A young girl is sitting next to me, calling for a questioning.
- Hi, I am Masha Ivanova, portal "Bagnet". Say your media was created with the support of the state or with private capital funds?

He is listening. He puts the phone. On her face is written "How naked?".

It is an hour)

In the morning, I sit down and drink coffee. I put the cup wrong, it begins to slowly fall onto the keyboard. Instant reaction: with the rear side of the palm, I knock the cup into the wall, it breaks and fills the coffee bag with a netbook. for what?! to

I know they may not even miss it, but if a miracle happens suddenly and someone sees it, I want those people to know that I really want everyone to have it all and they have nothing for it. You see then and something good will finally begin to happen in my life. I believe, I hope and I wait.

XXX: What’s going on with you? Why is it vanity?
YYY: We are back at the DS again
Tagged: no accountant
yyy: in short, speaking the usual language - 3 nubes went to the raid boss

About the opening of a new RU-OFF server Ragnarok Online

Ohhh: by the way, that friend came to me on the 5th, he fucking waited for the opening, until the hour was sitting, then I gave him a notebook, he woke up at night checked if they didn't start it.. when they wrote that they would open on the 3rd day of the 6th, he reminded me every 15 minutes of jumping before opening.. pulled a chair and ears to work to manch ))
His wife is forbidden to play at home.
Tagged with: facepalm
XHH: 37 years old
When he comes to me to spit, he tells his wife that he is on a business trip.)

My rabbit
Tagged: my cat
Tag: my sun
My girlfriend
My Red Bull
by O_O
Red Bull is shaking!: *

Cancer: We students yesterday gave a song at night from Katy Chekhov - Dreaming)
Cancer: And they started singing in all her throats - only slightly reworked in the chant...
The Cancer:
I see with my eyes closed,
I feel without touching my hands.
I listen to music, not including,
I exist outside of time.
Bhagavad Gita...
Cancer: I listened and cried :D

I wake up, I know I’m asleep, I turn on my cell phone. The last text message from the bandmate was sent 27 minutes ago and contains only one word "ping"

I tell my older sister about my culinary experiments at the new place of residence.
She shakes her head and asks: "Harrish?"
I: - "What did you say?"
C: - "Well, do you want to do this?"
And so several times...
Already tormented by the order and regarding each other as idiots, they discovered the true meaning of her question:
What is "Working? How do you cook?"

She: Well, what should I do with you now?
To love, to feed and not to give to anyone.
The first is I don’t believe in love, the second is I hate cooking, and the third is you can stay (if you can).