Android Thinks I'm an App That Cleans Cache to Install New Apps

A drunk companion calls and says:
Are you in front of the compound? Look, plz, what is the celebration today? (25.09)
- 0_0 Okay, - laughing, - Day of the Machinery Builder, - I think it will come, it's all over.
No, which other one?
Tiger Day in the Far East.
Is there anything else?
International Day of the Deaf.
What a day?
Day of the deaf.
Oh shit, it’s about me, thank you :)

My son will soon be born, and I’ll call him Charles. By the time he goes to school, all about this meme will be forgotten and only the ancestors will not be able to joke about the old people themselves. You understood the joke, Charlie.

I got my first job immediately after school. By passport 17, naive at the same time not by years. A number of men around forty were immediately drawn around, wanting to tell me how unhappy they are in marriage, and only now realized that their true love was me. Naivety saved me to some extent: I sincerely believed that these wonderful people told me about their feelings in order to divorce and with a clear conscience to try to conquer me.

When a couple of months later my aunt told me what rumors were going on about me in connection with all this, I was very surprised.

From the University Confa to VK:

XXX: I seem to be asleep
YYY: I think I knew how to save money.
Zzz: It seems that two of our group have sold their souls...

How are the caterpillars reproduced? No is no! You know it early.”

By saying something similar regularly, you will forever get rid of various uncomfortable children’s questions, because they will be addressed by someone more competent, such as a plumage companion on the resort. If the question of what is “orgasm” has surprised you, you can say, “I’m not ready to answer right now, I need some time.” After that, it is worth paying for special literature, listen to a couple of thematic webinars "How to tell children about it" and go out, finally, to the child with the drawn scheme. There you will most likely find that he has long lost interest in orgasm and is now absorbed by the problems of the relationship between religion and terrorism. The household will be surprised when you try to turn the conversation back to sex. But it is better than nothing.

# names
Physruck in the school - Angel Angelovich Angels. This is the dynasty, it’s not Violet Pupkin!

(A) If the statue is in the form of a rider on a horse, and the horse has two legs (legs, copits) - then the rider died in the war. If one is at home from wounds received in the war, if a horse stands on four legs, then he died of ordinary death.
(B) Nothing like that is a myth. In which war did Peter die?
The War with the Green Serpent

The weather has changed from "What do you stick to, and without you it’s hot!" to "Stay by my side, my warm dog!".

Victims of Fashion

>>>... People with fashionable short pants and naked hips! When will the cold be in fashion? Or only when the snow becomes so much that it starts to get stuck in the shoes? It is cold to look at you.

Especially funny, in contrast to the naked in the moustaches thin ankle, looks strongly wrapped in 5 rows with a wide shell neck. Their neck will freeze.

by cybernetics

...the first settlers of the United States in the 17th century...I didn’t find a suitable large-size photo for the earliest settlers...Well, it’s a painted fig. I recruited Pioneers of the West, American Pioneer, etc. Few high quality photos. The painting is not in the style of my blog. I have beautiful pictures :)

This leads to Nobel. Search and find 17th century photos on the Internet! The seventh, Carl by Facepalm

With Geektimes:

AAA: "how the perception of size and distance to an object changes if you bend and look at it in the light between your legs."
This, by the way, I noticed, I really do not remember the circumstances.

BBB: You Remember Everything

The dissertation board of the Ural Federal University will consider the application for the deprivation of the Minister of Culture Vladimir Medinsky of the degree of Doctor of Historical Sciences, says on his Facebook page one of the initiators of the appeal specialist on the late Renaissance, Ph.D. Ivan Babitsky.

The application will be considered on October 4.

It is noted that we are not talking about plagiarism, but "the main claim is of a substantive nature: his work is simply unscientific, and in places is absolutely absurd."

The trouble. I have a horse in my business.

About the Russian Internet:

xxx: fucking, and my legs are frozen... heating is not included, fucking!
YYY: Write about it at the censor. What’s up here, Rose Banderas?
XXX: You look at your Jewish eyes, lamb. I am from Peter.

I worked in a programming company last autumn. After a while, I met at work a very cute, beautiful and smiling girl named Light. And since my heart was free at that moment, I began to make timid attempts to get closer to her. And everything seemed to go by itself - then we decided some work issues together, then we went to lunch together, several times even asked to carry her home. And everything was wonderful. She laughed at my jokes, smiled, embarrassedly looking me in the eyes, without silence talked about all sorts of things... And going on vacation, she hugged me strongly to say goodbye. And then I realized that we need to move to more decisive actions.

And then came the day of Svetlana’s return from her vacation. I am all so dressed and happy running to work, with the iron intention to invite her on a date.

I come to the office, the light puts all kinds of snacks on the common table. I say goodbye, I ask, in honor of what this dish suddenly is. I guess I missed her birthday.

Smiling and glowing, he replied:

Yes, she is married!

Chockey: What law can be used in a country where children learn to pronounce sounds according to “Carl from Clara stole corals, Clara from Karl stole clarinet?”

to this:
— — —
My wife and I were not able to agree on the name of the child. As a result, they both compiled lists of names, took a crossroads of sets and sent all this to a large random. But that is not all. This program fell with the exception that the collection does not contain elements.
— — —
How much do you need to be a fucking coder to make such a simple task go wrong?

Mercy is not in pity, but in help.

At night, a drunk man went for cigarettes and disappeared. Called friends, hospitals, police, morgi. No one saw. In horror it seemed that he was killed lying in the bushes. Then panic - how can I be alone with two children? Well, okay, I sell the car, I give away the second apartment, I exchange my own for two and I also give away, plus a pension for the loss of a feeder... And everything was so well planned that when he returned after three hours alive, I even got a little upset...