bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №104054
 14.10.2014
And my 5 cups:
--------
1st Pregnancies with condoms - up to 30 per hundred per year.
— — —
Ugu, only usually here either a condom for 5 rubles in the "print" bought, or the size is inappropriate, or not able to wear. And yes, according to the statistics, about 30% of men do not raise their children, probably these numbers are somehow related to...
-
Statistics are still ruined by the smart ones who at the very end pick up, dress up and finish. And they believe that they had sex in a condom.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №104053
 14.10.2014
Take a cup of green tea and relax.
I’m going to read every day that shit you’re spilling out here.
Xxx every day.
Are you in xxx?
Buy yourself a dildo and fuck yourself with it. With love, Father Arsenius.
8 Then drink green tea.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №104052
 14.10.2014
here here :

Piper Bernadotte: A master’s porn left on a hard drive before a note is handed over for repair is like a dish of milk for an eggs. and c)
__________
With milk milkshake, it can happen...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104051
 14.10.2014
You notice a lack of money much faster than a lack of mind.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №104050
 14.10.2014
Not my own, the oldest friend said.
About Santa...
Recently, with classmates gathered, a table in a restaurant for the fifteenth anniversary of graduation of the university was ordered. We sit, eat and listen to music. We talk conversations. The people of fifteen people gathered, everyone tries to talk to everyone and at the same time drink alcohol for spiritual lift. I see, Vitya sits, eats, but does not drink, and likewise laughs with everyone and supports the conversation. And as far as I remember him from the institute, he was like a vacuum cleaner, all that pulls used. I sat down to him and said, “You’re chao, brother, you’ve wrapped up, right? Do you use antibiotics? Why don’t you drink?”
For two years no drop in the mouth, no centimeter anywhere, as they say.
Let’s go smoke.
I went out into the air and said to him:
Tell me in which sect did you get caught? (I refused to smoke a cigarette)
I have a construction company. As I lifted her up, I saw everything. Stress every day, of various kinds, nerves kilometers on the construction left. Not until the personal life was when eight years ago things went to the mountain, decided to give birth to a child. Said is done. His son was named Pashko. Nothing for him and his wife regretted, the toys are the best, Disneyland, all the business. Good money is enough. And two years ago, on New Year's Eve, I told him to write a wish and put it under the tree (it was already taught in Sunday school). And you know, at midnight, when he was already asleep, I approached the tree and read his wish. I thought he was there puzzling an iPhone or something new-fashioned. and NIHRENA. There was written, “Dad Maroz Hachu Tobi Papa bRosil Drink and Smoke.” That’s what you have to do, brother.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №104049
 14.10.2014
To get to know a man, Tamara does not go to a restaurant, theater or museum, she just comes to the supermarket and chooses one of those who have long chosen pelmeni.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104048
 14.10.2014
Where can I get a salary of 40,000 rubles without education?
in Belarus

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104047
 14.10.2014
I recently got to work. The group is fun, not a day of anecdote. As soon as the boss blows out, sorry, sort with the words:
I don’t eat sweets anymore!
I: What, did you get caught up?

© TheSlayerAtheos

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №104046
 14.10.2014
You have already busted.
Friendship is when one cares, wastes time, puts a bubble, and the other uses it stupidly. And the most important thing in the concept of friendship is that the object number 2 holds the object number one, as a spare option, or simply as a convenient toy, while regularly giving the object number one the hope that this is what will happen. And what you are writing here is described by one phrase, already sounding on this resource "Shovinist cretinism in virgins", and in the course of both sexes.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №104045
 14.10.2014
>> pricing: "CD single-use b/u".
*********
The menu in the strict Soviet plum, one of the lines:
"Pelmen B/U" As it turns out, the correct version of the decryption - "No vinegar". We just didn’t invent it.)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №104044
 14.10.2014
Once my grandfather (an aviation engineer) came home and asked his grandmother (a surgeon) about the disease that happened to his colleague. He said the following:
D: Listen, here xxx has hemorrhoidal conjunctivitis, is it not dangerous?
After about five minutes of laughter, I answered:
B: I don’t know if it’s dangerous or not, but you just stretched your eyes to your ass.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104043
 14.10.2014
Agriculture Minister Dan Jorgensen said it was time to ban sex with animals in the country.

Roof: Roof: Roof: Roof:

Origin: It's time to stop this evil, the striker said a month later, and the stewardess was excavated.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №104042
 14.10.2014
From the Tyrant

How to remove flower numbers?

Open the paddle.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №104041
 14.10.2014
And to me, in the slogan "Gazelle-changes everything" I hear "Gazelle-changes everything" and I remember our first car, in which my husband changed almost everything, and she still wildly ripped, did not peel, ate oil and boiled even in the winter)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104040
 14.10.2014
Nafiga Microsoft bought Minecraft.
YYY: The pastion has already hit everyone. In the second service pack there will be tanks.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №104039
 14.10.2014
Dialogue in the office.
Collega A: No, he doesn’t eat fish. Only what he himself will catch.
Colleague B: Yes, he and the women too.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104038
 13.10.2014
Anko
I know how to make two types of pizza.

Anko
"square" and "square"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №104037
 13.10.2014
After none with Moldova, many fans are interested in the question: can the Russian football team get to the 2018 World Cup?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №104036
 13.10.2014
XXX: My mom told a story from my childhood, I mean in my childhood I was very hard, up to 11 years old, and when there was a kindergarten there was a quiet horror. There was a morning in the kindergarten, all the children are teaching verses, and I am teaching, I do not tell my mother, the teacher said a surprise for parents. Well, in the morning, it is my turn, I get up with all this coloring, with a huge red band on my head, in clothes imported from abroad from relatives, I open my mouth and I give "Kha khichit vohon khaja, kachaul, ghabez phopaj.
All the words in this verse were with the scratched letter “R”... people laughed, cried... and knocked very loudly at the end.
In the end, it turned out that my teacher hated my mother, and here... played out... And I got rid of the fear of the scene and forever worn out in my memory a lovely poem :)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104035
 13.10.2014
My beloved neighbor has been drilling for a few years. As it turned out later, the neighbor painted a painting on the wall with a perforator.

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