bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №157043
 16.10.2021
My son did not want to go to the garden. I give him the theme that the garden is such an elite institution, where all adults want to return, but they cannot. not let go. All adults want to eat, sleep and drive machines for a day. Now he walks with pleasure and even sometimes foreign parents secretly language shows, say, envy silently, fools.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №157042
 16.10.2021
The next generation of our people will no longer live with the coronavirus.

[ + 62 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №157041
 16.10.2021
About the beating in the subway or "why the Russians moved the men"

I think everyone is aware of the recent incident in the Moscow metro, where citizens without nationality behaved loudly, a aunt made a comment to them, they sent her, a guy advocated for her and broke his face with a crowd of three noses. Immediately after this story on the Internet raised a rumor from the couches that the men in Russia translated, that only one came in and that's all.

Let us, dear reader, examine this situation in detail.
There are three drunk degenerates in the car. Two of them are former criminals. They perfectly understand what interferes with others and, moreover, consciously provoke them. With them they had a knife and a gas bowl, which, without consideration, launched against the police who detained them. They do not have brakes at all.

And here you want to stop their hamsky behavior. Here it is 100% clear that there will be a fight and words will not be limited to everything. Courageous citizens without nationality are simply overwhelmed. Especially a drunk. Especially in the sight of the roots. The fight will be one against three. Because you will come alone and they will come alone. Then we have two options:

1st If you have a striking personal level, you are engaged in handshake from the sperm stage and follow the advice of our president "if a fight is inevitable - you have to hit first", then you are putting all three. Naturally, if the degenerates did not have time to get the knives and you are lucky. And in a moment you hear the most active passenger, 10 seconds ago cried out to the men, already calls the machinery and asks for a suit. Not for the noise, but for you.
I’ve been on the metro for many years at night and watched everything. And in 95% of cases, those who demanded protection from their uncle, after a moment, ask for his arrest. Because they thought he would resolve everything somehow peacefully, calmly and with a good conversation. And he, a maniac and sadistic, is totally intolerant to throw his fists on living people.
And those twigs, like sirens, begin and bleed at every corner! It damages the mood of active citizens.

After that, you are detained, watched the camera recording and it turns out that no one touched you with the finger, and you, on the same place, put three guys who peacefully came to study and went from the institute home. And around the OVD you will be waiting for 50 toned Prior.
As recently happened near Novosibirsk, where citizens without nationality were desperately demanding to be handed over to them for execution by an entire police officer who shot their fellow tribal degenerate.
And then the relatives of the beaten will go to whip all the channels, as the evil skinhead beat their bloodshed. They, surprisingly, even now tell what their sons-cartons were good, helped everyone, for the whole life no drop in the mouth, no centimeter in the jop and how they are surprised what happened and probably Moscow ruined them. And in every social network there will be hundreds of threats to you and your family. Citizens without nationality always behave according to the same scenario.

And you’re just wildly lucky if after a year of terrible problems you get out of condition. Rather, as in the well-known case with the stormy Chimist Tarmaev, you will sit for many years.
He, I will remind you, was attacked in the same subway 10 years ago by a crowd of 6 citizens without the same nationality. He first fled from them into the neighboring car, and when they caught it, knocking off with a knife, struck one. Eight years from call to call. He came out that year. He was still defending himself!
And in the described variant there would be no self-defense.

2nd If you don’t want to hit the first and just go talk, then you yourself will be struck with the same probability of 100%. Moreover, the traditional way for citizens without nationality is from behind, like this guy. And it’s good if they don’t kill or turn into a plant.
Well, then you will find out that the citizens who beat you will simply not find you. If they find it, they will suddenly be released. We, you know, even after murders, representatives of some nationalities like to let go. The width of the Russian soul. We can remember the year 2010 and 2010. And only the most powerful resonance forces the lawmakers to work. This was the case in 2010 and now.

As we can see, there are only two options: either, with a huge probability, to sit down. Or, with the same likelihood, to lie down or remain disabled. The guy, who entered the conflict, acted boldly and decently, but, in fact, he did not help anyone and decided nothing. As a result, he exchanged his health for the freedom of these degenerates.
Because of his injuries, they are now being planted. But in his case, a lot of factors succeeded: he was simply miraculously not killed, degenerates were caught on hot tracks, a wild wave went on the Internet and law enforcement agencies immediately started to work actively. And it could have been otherwise and he would have lost his health simply: no one was saved, no one was punished. This, unfortunately, happens very often.

And when someone in the car makes a noise, and an active aunt calls on those same men to do something, such a man stands, scrolls all this in his head and realizes that now, in the right place, he can break his entire future life. A bonus, and the life of his aunt. For example, mothers, wives and daughters.
They will never approve when they learn that their son/husband/father will be bound to bed for the rest of their lives because of the rage in the subway. Or go dusting Siberia for years.

What to choose a man? How to set priorities? Who is more important to him? It is very easy to talk about some abstract men who have translated.
Because of the fate of an abstract man to make fun of everyone. He just has to solve the problem, and what’s going to happen next with him is a pocher. Therefore, all sufferers of real men should always have in mind their son/husband/brother/father/friend. Are they ready to specifically kill him in a fight because of the rage in the subway or the village?

But citizens who fight for missing men live in their own pink world. There you can have three drunk courageous degenerates with knives somehow so humbled that nobody will even suffer and everything will end quietly and peacefully, and everyone will remain friends.
Probably a good word and fatherly advice. But this only happens in fantasy. In life, aggression is suppressed only by even greater aggression. This, in turn, leads to health problems in some and with the law - in others.

Unfortunately, this is how real life is arranged. She is surprisingly cynical and cruel. This is not a matter of courage and courage. This is a normal calculation, without which it is not possible. The bets are very high. To sit or lie down, protecting yourself and your loved ones is one thing. Protecting the life of a stranger is something else. But getting the same thing just because of someone’s roughness in the subway is generally the third.

What had to be done in this situation?
Yes, the same way, in the end, and did - press the contact button with the driver and call the police to the car. That is what solved the problem. Not the intercession of a guy who heroically fell in an unequal battle, but the button-called police who detained the degenerates. Just called her, for some reason, after being beaten.
Should have been immediately.

Not with useless remarks to degenerates to climb, but call specialists to communicate with them. Let them understand, it is their job, they are paid for it from our taxes. The same thing would have happened, but the man would not have been hurt.
The degenerate, when arrested by the police, got a knife. And if a police officer has a board and can shoot such a creature like a ragged dog, then the citizen cannot do so. The citizen, with a 100% probability, will be destroyed.

And the question to the outraged citizens from the couches should be put differently: not "why the men moved," but "why the smart ones moved," regardless of gender? Why are they ready to go into conflict with the three degenerates, but are not ready to press the contact button with the driver? Button in the wagon a bunch, press any. Why did no one do it?
Why, in order to press on her, they wait for a person to be hit with their legs first? Does religion not allow? Why do they fight and demand to solve the problem from some men, but persistently do not want to call other men, who are just paid for these challenges?

I called the police several times in the subway. They always entered the station and drove out big characters. And always the most active demands to humiliate the noisy, looked at me after that, as a traitor.
One day a aunt, a minute ago, shouted, “Men, are there men here?” She even told me:
“Couldn’t you figure it out yourself? Because of you, you will be put on board! You are a shame, not a man!”

So we live.

by Cottoblog

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №157040
 16.10.2021
French cheeses cannot be imported, and French uranium waste can be imported. Look not to confuse.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №157039
 15.10.2021
You deserve what you are willing to endure.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №157038
 15.10.2021
I contact the employer about the contract, I call. A man takes the phone.
I am from a printing company, with whom can I talk about the contract?
“We have Xenia in charge of contracts, she has another phone.
Please indicate it, in the documentation only your indicated.

and thanks.
I call in a minute on the other phone that was given. The phone is taken by the same man.
Hi, am I hitting you again?
and yes.
- I am about the contract, please invite Xenia.
Xenia is on vacation.
Xenia is on vacation, and I am in Aachen.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №157037
 15.10.2021
Enough, enough is enough! I can no longer! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha! Vassula, you have to stop! Ha ha ha ha!
Here is another law...

[ + 37 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №157036
 14.10.2021
xxx: In fact, that in Invitro, that in Hemotest, there is another problem: it is the need to voice your analysis in words. Let's say a person comes to take a test for the same HIV. All analyses have codes. He says, say, can I please analyze something like that? He responded, “What is it?” What analysis? He is like that again, but quietly, that, say, is HIV. To him in response, the grandmother in a mask, helmet and hoodie says: "What??? I can’t hear??? What is the analysis??? Well, and the man in response, say, to HIV analysis, you are a fool (cut off at the end)!! She replied, “What about HIV? With you 1000R! CHEL: It will pay. After a minute, the nurse from the office: "Who is there for HIV in us???" And all this time there are 10 billion people listening to it, because in the morning and everyone goes to the carpet)))

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №157035
 14.10.2021
I got fired from one job and one friend splashed out to me with unterrestrial feelings, inviting me to work. A friend worked as a storage worker in an electronics warehouse, and I was in it a full nube, memory from the processor could not distinguish. I was unable to use the computer. He promised to teach me everything, but when I went to work he took me off the next day, leaving me alone in the warehouse. As it turns out, the man was not allowed on vacation until he found a replacement. In general, I had to, online, study the warehouse program, look for goods in the warehouse and study the nomenclature. But a month later, when my friend returned, I was already able to do everything, acquiring only a couple of gray hair.

P.S. The reverse side of the medal. I was offered a job in the warehouse after 3 months, and a friend was fired, but this is a completely different story.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №157034
 14.10.2021
I go to the subway and suddenly the stomach starts to spin, well, I think - fuck me... I get to the station, jump out, run to the outlet to the turnikets, there are usually metro employees quiet. I approach a woman in shape, I ask - where is the toilet? I will explode! She - we do not have, there is free on the street 100 meters from the subway (showing where to run). I don’t run that fast anymore. I try to squeeze the bulky that there is urine, and in the stomach of the BUUR BUUUUR BUR ah thyž suca BURRR Oh shit, oh shit... I go out, I look with my eyes filled with blood... I see the toilet... I go in, there the woman cleans up, I go into the first cabin and I look at the toilet paper – no... I go out, I open the next cabin – no... next cabin – no... fuck... I ask the woman – toilet paper where? where, where - in the fifth, the entrance next to 10 meters... uff uff... crumbling in the fifth, because. The muscles of the buttocks are cramped... the legs are not listening, the head whispers like the stomach... I go into the fifth, I catch the toilet paper and.... I understand that everything is moving and death... the death of the whole pet... I stand, licking cold afternoon, with paper in the hands and with the eyes opened BUR BUR BUR... a shop employee passes by... I shake his hands, I say everything, call an ambulance, health inspection and firefighters - now you will have a horror that there is on the floor and that luster will also be... now we are two with the eyes opened and we hold one toilet paper... the employee says - and follow me. I – I cannot go. Employee - then crumble at least, but I will take you to the toilet! I was pulled into the cushion, there was a push... oh my god, what a beautiful, wonderful little, poor, terrible toilet. How I was pleased with him. And how pleased the fifth was when I left there - everyone accompanied me :DD

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №157033
 14.10.2021
When confronted with power, you are always to blame.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №157032
 14.10.2021
How Vitya became a mariner.

Mother and grandmother took Vitu from the promiscuous Peter to the sunny Florida at a preschool age. So he, for the first time in the first class, went not to a Russian school with an in-depth study of English, but an American, where there was no Russian language at all.
At home, they communicated mostly in Russian, and every summer Vitya and grandmother flew to Peter for holidays. As a result, the boy managed to keep the spoken language at the level of the carrier. But he read Vitya in his native language by slogans and wrote in printed letters with a bunch of grammar errors.

After graduating from school, Victor, as usual, spent the summer in Peter. He celebrated his eighteen years of age when he was handed an agenda: first inviting to visit the district military committee, and then to serve the next year in the Russian army.
“This is the turn!” surprised Vitya and questioningly looked at the grandmother.
From St. Petersburg, Florida, the mother of the boy was urgently called to the Russian. In the district military committee explained to her that: "On the military record of her son did not put and the attestation did not be handed over, since he constantly resides abroad and is not subject to military record! It is the duty of the citizen!”
To the reasonable argument of an excited momma about the fact that her son has difficulty reading and writing in Russian, she was answered in the spirit of non-apocalyptic barracks humor: "We cannot - we will teach, we will not - we will!"

Vitya himself, raised as a law-abiding citizen in a private American school, wanted to follow the letter of the law and a year in the army, if appropriate, to serve.
“My former classmate Daniel, when he was flying to his relatives in Geneva, served four months in the Swiss army, and what’s worse for me?“Vitya argued her position to her grandmother.
The grandmother could not clearly explain to her grandson the difference between the Russian and Swiss armies and sent her mother to consult with lawyers. Those qualified explained that "cutting off medicine" will no longer work. Analysis and references had to be collected well in advance, and, burning, under the Florida sun, Vitya with an American white teeth smile and ten years of experience of year-round canoeing is unlikely to make the medical commission the right impression.

In general, it turned out that Vite would have to serve for a year.
“We will send him to the most secret troops,” the soldier intimidated the relatives of the recruiter. After serving in the army, he will not be able to leave the country for another five years. Even in Belarus!
Grandma and mother, finally ruined by a long life in America, did not understand the hints of the military commander and fell into a quiet panic.
“It’s time to take your fate into your own hands!” the young man decided.

Whole night Vitya thought what to do: how to avoid service without breaking the law? He signed a three-year contract with the U.S. Marine Corps.
"H," said the disheartened soldier, "to avenge from service in the army by service in the army is original!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №157031
 14.10.2021
According to surveys, 80% of cats are confident that people don’t understand them. "When trying to talk about something serious, the owner foolishly gives to eat" - this opinion among cats was heard most often.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №157030
 13.10.2021
A medical examination. The psychiatrist asks:

Are there complaints?

Not as though.

Sleepiness, fatigue, apathy, lack of motivation to work?

Yes, there is such.

It’s okay, it’s everyone... Well, go, don’t delay the line.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №157029
 13.10.2021
Yesterday a funny dialogue with my daughter (17 years old) came out:

What did you do last night at my age?

“They drank a selfie, listened to the gas sector and fired each other from the air.

to affix. And why?

We didn’t have the internet, we had the fun we could.

It is a pity that we have the internet.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №157028
 13.10.2021
But there is already an adult generation for whom the 20th century is roughly the same story as it was for us in the 19th.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №157027
 13.10.2021
This incident occurred at the second border stop in the Far East, where I served urgently (six months before the dembel I was transferred here with my favorite "Lonchakovo"), the name will be missed. I stand on duty on bail, arm clothes, drink tea with a duty on communication. Winter, frost... A signaling complex is working (meaning someone crossed a familiar border “collar” in Soviet films), I am reporting properly. When the report was present, the praporst, the senior of the pledge, and when he learned the number of the work site, he understood - the district of Tajik, there is snow at the very, and there is a lot of beast. He went to the senior alarm group. From the site on the TA-57: trace of goat in the direction of the state border. “We will kill.” In fact, this is a violation, and the cartridge is a property of special accounting, etc. etc. But the goat is such a wickedness that once passed, the route is remembered, and work in that place will begin to happen several times a day. of the same goat. Despite the different disturbances, the alarm groups will every time fly to the place of passage, record the trace of wild cattle, collect the wool from the clutch wire, or even do a trace blind (although in my service such a collection of evidence base was already inferior to photodocumentation). So the chief of the senior secretly allowed the hunt for rogue offenders. I to the operational guard in the border order that the alarm group from the site is returning. An hour and a half, no news. On this flank our surveillance operates, they reached the junction with the neighboring site, came into contact with the TA-57 (they had the R-392, but the site is uneven, elevations interfere with communications, it is rare to scream from there). I set the task - on the way back to get to the trail of the alarm group, report to the pledge what and how. The boss is nervous and is in control. The man is balanced, but visible. The guard went to the site. Reported by tapic, left the trail. Another hour passes. and silence. The clock on the tower looked in the direction of that flank (since radio communication is unstable, it might be a rocket signal). About 4 hours have passed since the last contact with the alarm. The commander’s order: “Stop the gun! Operative report: a training search is being carried out at the PGD site. The majority of fire equipment, including grenade launches, was loaded into the shale, and most importantly, the lunch was ready. Jokes jokes, but disappeared 7 armed fighters with radio stations, and UAZ. Before leaving, the chief said: "Whatever we meet, I will clarify the situation from the site as soon as we learn." On the pledge remained I, the communicator, the police officer, the clockman with the changeholder, the cocker, the cook. They reached the site and that they saw a trace. And the silence. An hour passes. The guard came back from the other flank. The replacement from the border control post has returned. Zampolit arms them, himself and the cockerel, on three snowwalks "Bars" rush through the taiga to the site. got to. The time goes by, the dinner has already cooled, the combat calculation is missed, the street is dark. The operational surveyor taps the caller and the communicator about when the training search will end. And here, all this cold camp, red and roasted, returns to the bargain, cleans the weapons, discharges the shops. They tell me this story: the senior came out after the trail of the goat, dropped the first shot. I approached, squeezed the carcass, sat down on another hot prey, smoked. At his AKS-74 pulled off the store, the machine itself folded and placed next to it. Valiously drowned, stood up, asked the cinologist for a long guide: "We will refresh here." At this moment the goat jumped up, and went into the taiga breaking the bushes, bringing down the bushes. At his corner was a folded machine without a store. followed the trace. found a body. There is no machine. 3 kilometers of taoyu path into the sidewalk to Usuri, and a strong wind that carries traces. That is to say, the trace was not so that it went straight, but the machine had to be searched. The chief in panic was - from the border order to the bargain to drive less than 2 hours, knocking who personally - everything, article, deadline. In the best case, dismissal, but this is if you are very lucky. No news to anyone. The snow was scratched one and a half meters to the right and to the left in the middle of the February taiga. The snow that is the most. At about eight o’clock the machine was found. Subsequently, the individuals learned everything, but it was already a fairy tale about living-being - an automaton on the spot, a shortage of ammunition was not revealed. And the goat we had eaten until then.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №157026
 13.10.2021
Covid will stop when 90% of people are vaccinated.
We will not be vaccinated!
- Dear friend, 90% can be reached not only at the expense of the numerator, but also at the expense of the denominator.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №157025
 13.10.2021
Xxx: In either the first or the second part, there was a moment that the sim could be pumped to a maximum of skill and then one gnom made at the machine cost $100. In the usual state, you have the time to squat 12 dwarfs for a replacement, then you give him the maximum of Science and put on a chemical table. On the chemical table with a high probability, he seems to begin to scratch amfetamine because of it. One blue bubble fills the scales of hunger and vigilance by 50%-70%. Sim can drink 3 such bubbles without sleeping for one such shift on the drugs, he scatters 28 dwarfs, then he needs to go to bed, wash to feed and go to the toilet. As a result, for an amfetamin replacement for something about 1.5 days, he pays $ 2800). I had a whole second production floor for this hernia, no work is needed, grandmothers do not end at all, once a week for 2 days to develop the rest of the skills and rest and again for production), very quickly bought all the free immobility on the map.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №157024
 12.10.2021
One day I was stopped by two police officers near the subway to check documents. I did not take the papers, and quietly smiled wide, preparing to apologize. But one disappointedly said to the other, “A, it’s a foreigner,” and they went on.

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