X: I once made an offer to my girlfriend.

We walked somewhere and drank beer. And here, I opened one bowl and this aluminum ring broke accidentally.

Something struck me and I said, “Be my wife!” I extend this ring to her.

She put him on her finger and said, “I agree!

They kissed as required.

In fact, we never got married.

We lived so for 10 years.



YYY: Given the diameter of the hole in the bottle ring, did you offer her at 10 years old?

No matter how much hair on her ass, she will not become a head.

Yesterday, when she laid the children to sleep, she fulfilled her long-standing dream - went out on the street, drafted the "classics" and jumped an acky goose. I wondered what people would think of me. But I did not expect that in a while a good half of the neighbors would come to me and join the process. We are grown-up aunts and uncles, jumping, choking, arguing - we break off as children. The fun continued until three o’clock at night. Agreed for today. We are waiting for the “Cossacks-Raters”)

In chess, black and white figures are the worst enemies, but those who move the figures are usually good friends.

Xxx: I am very interested in cuts. Ivan is Vanessa. Valentina is Valia. Fedora is Fedora.

Now attention, the question is!

Why is Alexander Sasha? Why is it so, why is it so much shurry?? to



Yyy: At home, the Alexanders were not called so officially, but were addressed with the help of abbreviated names, formed by means of suffixes, which gave the name a diminishing-loving sound. Thus, the name Alexander resulted from the affectionate name of Alexei or Alexei, and already from these names there were abbreviated versions of Sasha or Sanya. Gradually over time, the shortened forms of the name became domestic, familiar and the need for a new lustful form of the name Alexander arose. And then Sasha turned into Sashura, and already Sashura after a certain period of time became Shura or Shurik. The names of the girls underwent the same transformations, because Alexandras were no less important in their status.

How did you that your employees never did?

Are you late?

- Very simple: I have 20 people working, and parking spaces

Only 10.

Today my boyfriend gave me a wedding ring. It was so cute and romantic until he said, “One day I’ll marry you... but for now I want to meet other girls.”



Yyy: “One day I’ll wear your engagement ring... but for now I want to wear other rings.”

Better excuses than accusations have not yet been invented.

My name is Oksana. She hated her name all her life, at the age of 14, when she received her passport, she wanted to change it to Xenia. The whole family fell in hysteria, as I was named in honor of my late grandmother, said, it is a memory, disrespect, all that. not changed. Nine years have passed. The name of Oksana is still alien to me and cuts my hearing, but I already have a bunch of documents: two diplomas, rights, bordered with open visas. It seemed to be reconciled. And recently sold the grandmother's house and found her documents. My grandmother was called Xenia.

Are you interested in cybersecurity?
and yes. Send the summary to the mail.
I put it on your computer on the desk. The file is called “Have to take!” In any case, duplicated into your folder "Selections" at home.
The second! Home computer in the autonomous! It is not connected to the network and the Internet at all!
Sorrento removed from home.

Today, my wife shaved her hair so that it looked like Hitler's eyebrows. Now she calls it Clitler.



YYY: Hm, what’s wrong here? According to my performance.



zzz: It would be okay, but then she forced Clitler to kiss in the pot.

Such times have come that it is better to keep silent, at least, in a three-layer cloth. The word is too expensive.

I call a taxi from home to the garden on Sunday morning. I rarely use a taxi, but my wife from the morning on the car has already rushed into this very garden. Girl controller protaratorila: Grey ten, the number is like that, in 5 minutes leave.
I go out, I sit down.

My grandmother is driving. Welcome to “Welcome!” Immediately we settled, we talked. In retirement for a long time, taxes the first year, from my husband got the car, before I did not trust. They talked mentally. Arrived at the gate of the garden, cost 70 rubles. I pull 100 rubles, and the grandmother instead of giving me a cake! With a potato! I agreed, of course. She removes the cover from the pot (!Then he pulls and stretches (hand in bag) a stinking cake, straight hot. I go out, bite... And something so sad (although not to regret) grandmother. As she turned, I decided to brake her. I stop, I run to her.

Cake is waste! Can you buy it all?

“Oh, son, forgive me, but I just got on the line, I need to get enough for all the customers.

I think I could work in the United Nations.
I’m constantly upset and worried, and I don’t do any shit.

Xxx: In our zoo, the bears slept quite late. Especially if the summer is long and warm.   In general, putting in winter sleep, this process is quite lengthy. Here he is all day rounding around the crib (in cells for beds they have built such kinds of boxes made of cribs). This is where he puts the salt. Here he went down, lay down... but something didn’t like, he started to roll over the cage again. All this time, the bear is eating. very much. Especially loves the seed that your horse. He eats, but he does not eat. The Copy.  But at last he humbled, went into his barley, turned around there, laying down, and the exit with the straw stopped. Only one fragrance remains, from which the couple comes. The mice lay down, and the zoos breathed relieved. Their work slowed dramatically until the spring.

New Year’s holidays are coming. Everyone is fun, the people are celebrating, fireworks crack day by day. And that bear’s whisper is obviously waking up. They are not used to sleeping in such noise. These sleepy mouths come out of the berlog, and look with great disapproval at the shame that is being created around. And zootechnicians with heart failure are watching for crabs. This is called the “moment of truth”. This is the nature of the bear. If the awakened bear comes out of the berlog, looks around, and then returns to his bedroom, then everything is normal. Sleep until spring. And if the upset mouse is upset, then everything - come, go, watch. Allow the shadow for the whole winter.  This livestock, not only that is always in a bad mood, but also constantly requires care, as well as food, which for the winter period in the zoo budget is not planned. And the poor zootechnicians, the mother through the teeth of the bear, fireworks, New Year and all the white light, drive the toptygin out of the cylinder, and begin to clean a huge bunch of shit from the frozen concrete.

You are me, I am you.



Propagandists are the patriots of their wallets.



© Dmitry Sviridov

In the 1990s, my mother and I lived poorly. My mother worked in the hospital, and at one of her duties came a beaten guy. When he was discharged, he asked everyone in debt to get home somehow. Mom alone pityed the whole team and gave him the money, not counting on him to return them. Three months later, we received a package of food, candy and three times as much money as we had borrowed. We lived for this for another month.

Bad without a king in the head, but worse with a king without a head.

Xxx: In one of my previous jobs, the bosses decided to check the workcomps for employee internet abuse.

In the shopping hall there were several computers used by the sellers, here is one of them we approach.

Open the browser history. One of the questions in Yandex - Is it true that bears stick their ass with clay before sleeping?

Next Request - Watch the video as a bear sticks his ass with clay.

The entire delegation.

Xxx: Events about 10 years ago.

I just finished the universe, found a job, did not get any income, but enough to eat housing, bread with oil and walk with friends a couple of times a month. I even postponed something.

I met a girl. High School, 3 course. It can’t work – the load is large. I remember how I suffered after working all 5 courses - there was no student life. Learn to learn, I thought.

Everything went well. We decided to go - well what to pull. I come from work - she plays a lineup or leaves social networks. I said I was tired, 4 couples today. Okay well. I prepare dinner. We eat, after eating, silently stands up from behind the table, goes to the room, she has a raid, she needs to cheer. What is. Wash the dishes yourself.

We can’t go anywhere on the weekend. She has both weekend sieges. Especially in the evenings. But in the morning or in the afternoon we will not go anywhere, because before the siege, as it turned out, it is necessary to "form". your mother. I think I have a girlfriend, but I don’t.

tk. This is basically the first serious relationship, I thought - no, and maybe it's normal. It does not drink. The brain does not endure. But I’m thinking about the future, and she’s thinking about a new armor.

I noticed that the tables on the table had ceased to be seen. At least to prepare for something. I decided to talk. Great news, fucking, it has been counted off for the tails and fucking for a month! And she didn’t say because “I knew you would start pressing again.”

But with that. Cooking, cleaning – we don’t want to. Even after myself. Dirty circles in rows on the table.

One day we fought against this infantility. She cried all night in the corner, crumbled and cried, believed that nobody loves her, nobody appreciates her, nobody understands her, nobody in the whole world needs her, and in general she is a creature, nothing deserves in this life and it would be better for her to die.

I regret it. I did not escalate. He said we will talk about it tomorrow when she calms down.

Tomorrow I was waiting for a brilliant apartment, breakfast and an offer to walk. Oh God, what a miracle, how wonderful, thought one naïve fool. We walked almost the whole day, drank wine in the evening, watched a beautiful movie, did a little, and in the morning... I woke up from the usual to painful sounds of breathing computer dirt. I thought, okay, yesterday was a good day, let him play. Tomorrow it all repeated. And the afternoon. And within a week. “Well, we just spent the whole day together,” she told me two and a half weeks later.

“Let’s go to a psychologist? The two? If you want, you can be alone. I’ll help and support you, just take one step and I’ll be there all the way.” "I'm not psychic, I don't need it, it's you have problems with the perception of my hobby."

The school does not recover. He is not looking for work. Although I promised. No hero wants to, just play in his fucking lineup. He does absolutely nothing at home. Just from under the stick once a month and then with such a look as if she was forced to eat the shit. Trying for good, zero emotions. On the bad - again tears and hysteria that she wants to die.

But even this could have survived.

I noticed that money was missing from the card. A few thousand and a half. But they disappeared. I began to find out where. Great news: she took my card, without asking, and in her fucking line bought some scattered sword. You see, she needed him very much, she didn’t play without him. There was a huge bombardment. He did not get hysterical, did not calm when the tears began, and continued to crack. And what do we see? Here is the true face of my angelic angel. Scream with insults, threats to kill me and suicide myself, selective mat, blasphemy against me and relatives, and how she really hates me, and that I long ago got her with my spells, did not cook and will not, and clean up too, because she is not a maid, and she does not want to work, because "to fuck the fucking fuck like you got me gone, the naked creature of the cattle".

In short, I left. I stayed with a friend, even though he did not sleep all night. I thought I was worried, or maybe it was my fault? Per I really demand a lot? After not sleeping for a minute, I decided to go home in the morning.

At home, and at home. At home, again, there is a hairy red-eyed miracle, only aggressive. The conversation did not come out. He gave 48 hours to leave, lived a couple of days in the country of a friend. and returned. has left. I picked up a lot of things, and I picked up a lot of things. In terms of equipment, dishes. The most offensive: my favorite shit. I locked her wherever I could. But maybe it could have been done without it.

I do not regret a second. What about her, I do not know. The only one I don’t want to know about.