111: I consume 1500 kilocalories per hour
This is not the limit.

Now I understand why you are holding your pants on the avatar.

The Treasure!
I have accumulated questions.
1st Why did you decide that parents need new wallpapers?
2nd How many wallpapers have you bought, if not a secret (given the rich experience)?
I mean, is the quantity enough? Or in an anecdote?
Three What happened in the office, did you have to remove the old wallpaper with a hammer?
4 is What is the situation with the ability to tint, if with the qualification of the repairman is somehow not very good?
5 is What kind of wallpaper is lying in the middle of the hallway with so many spectators?
6 is Why do parents not participate in this event?

The anecdote.
Neighbors ask neighbors who have a similar apartment.
How many wallpapers did you take in the room?
of 10 rounds.
After the repair.
- Here you advised us to take 10 and we have 3 rolls left.
We also have three!

Can you change your password on your computer?
Director: And why then?
Yes, then that qaz is not a very reliable password.

A plane sitting on a closed lane.

They fly like the Carlson. The man saw, and sat down.

He did not drink, smoke, and treated women with respect. Those around me considered me a drunk and the most terrible lovelace.
He started drinking, smoking, not missing the opportunity to fuck. Those around me started to consider me a decent person, because: I drink little, I smoke rarely, I don’t fuck every joke.

“And my neighbor, a lawyer, the most intelligent woman, made my son shrink instead of screaming.
I checked out the youngest dictionary.
agreed that he will rewrite, and if he repeats the mistake again - 10 presses...

That’s 370 people owed to the country.
He will be smart or beautiful. :D

Working in the press service of the legal office, I found out that there is a cavernous question in which lawyers and philologists will never find agreement: can it be said about a corpse, which, until it became a corpse, was a citizen of A., "The corpse belongs to a citizen of A?" Lawyers say yes.

From the discussion of the photo of the passport, in which the place of birth is indicated Czechoslovakia:

Snoosmumrick: A citizen of Russia, born in Czechoslovakia with the Tatar name Timur. Combo and Hole
Timurspb: Yes, especially in the military department. What should I write for admission in the column "Was you abroad, and if so, for what purpose?"Written that you were born. I do not know the goal.

Al-Namrood: How does a newborn know who he looks like?
I remember a sister was born. Everyone asks him who he looks like, and he answers honestly that he is Yeltsin. Six months later, she looked like my mother.

XXX: I thought about it. It turns out that 10 thousand years ago, the proteans could have been the same as us, made all kinds of huita out of boredom, suffered from hernias, spent their time wherever it came.
YYY: ZANUDA MOD
10,000 years ago, proteins were already dead for 40,000 years.
ZZZ: Here’s who played carefully and who fucked in Normandy))

Google search query starting with the words "How to get to the world..." top 4:
How to get into the world of anime
How to get into the broken world
How to get into the world of people
How to get into the world of anime through the mirror!
I overestimated the adequacy of people. Well, or who is there around me (question number three still arouses concerns)

We go somehow with a friend from purchases from Poland, haishniki gave a fine, no mood. There suddenly a healthy cockroach crosses the road. I squeeze with all my strength into the brake and with the screw of the paddle I stop in front of the cock. He stood there for a few seconds, staring at the car, and then moved toward us. At first I wanted to get rid of him, but then I thought it would make him even more angry. Here a friend drops the glass, climbs, depicts a machine in his hands and screams: "Stop, I will shoot! and PIFP! Tra-ta-ta-ta!" Kaban stared at him confusedly, apparently mentally twisting a copt at the whisky, and ran into the woods, realizing that there was nothing to connect with us.

Interesting fact: Mouse milk is the most expensive milk in the world. Its cost is more than $ 22,000 per liter. To produce one liter of milk, about 4,000 mice are needed. Mouse milk is used in medicine. Females of mice synthesize human protein - lactopherrin, which is used in the production of unique pharmacological preparations. Medications containing mouse milk improve the blood formation process after blood transfusion. Now, if you have mice at home or in the country, you know what to do.

Ivanovich: a friend married a aunt, younger than him... a friend is the first wedding... and aunt-fourth... there are optimists.
Neighbors: Well here are both optimists :)))
I don’t know who is more optimistic.)

The border guard on departure asks:

The purpose of the trip?

Sweeping by the grandmothers.

A piece of. He sets the stamp and opens the boundary.

I walk further and I hear him from his cabin saying to a colleague:

At least someone has answered honestly.

- Boss, here is the account for the purchase of iron and software for the new service. There are 400,000...
No shit to yourself!
We showed you the bills, we estimated that everything would be paid out in two years, you agreed to pay them.
I know, but that doesn’t change my assessment.
Is it... buying?
We buy, we buy...

And one day you will come to a meeting of graduates, and you will be very happy that you did not break up with anyone then.

I thought about you the same ;)

One nearby reader discovered the remarkable writer Kirill Eskov. And instead of enjoying them, he started quoting us here. But since he is a very distant reader, he quotes all sorts of pieces of theories that have been ripped out of context and are very unreasonable.
Be careful, the garner.
I read Eskowa. His last ring. And we will read. And you’ve already gotten all of it here, fail out of the resource.

The ideal city for the traditional holiday of Russian women is Novokuznetsk. Judging by the herb - there is everything you need to normally burn.

To the eclipse of the moon, correspondence. My sky is lengthy. I ask someone who was sure to lose this wonderful moment, at least so cheerfully.
Answer: Constantine, don’t be upset, I also had observations with adventures. First I met the police officers (it is not normal when a person stands and looks into the sky, probably disturbs, you need to check) and watched their flashlight for 20 minutes with a lecture on astronomy for them. And exactly at 5 a.m., as soon as they left, they turned on the lights, until the full phase. I spit and cried home.