bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118793
 24.09.2015
At the same forum, a LGBT activist and a former police officer met.

The Raven test.
Results of testing:
86% of correct answers.
You answered 52 of the 60 questions correctly.
This result corresponds to a high level of development of intelligence!

Quo: You hear, Mentovsky, you would do the test first, and then write what you wanted there, and what you didn’t want.

Grey: I wanted to go to your test, blue you are ours, cock.

Grey: Although I was interested. Here is :
Raven test
Results of testing:
81% of the correct answers.
You answered 49 of the 60 questions correctly.
This result corresponds to a high level of development of intelligence!

The wisdom of the people does not lie. Menta is worse than pyodora.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №118792
 24.09.2015
I wanted to be a programmer, but I also wanted to be a programmer.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №118791
 24.09.2015
Conversation with a friend.
I don’t cut my nails in the winter, I don’t see them in my shoes, and they grow more slowly. Or struggle on their own.
What about the socks you don’t wash in the winter?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №118790
 24.09.2015
Your mother! Protect it!! to
On Android 4, Ctrl + Alt + Del!! to
:D
Those of you,
I’m so glad that it’s not even a pity that a bunch of apps were opened when restarted!!! to
and :-)

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118789
 24.09.2015
- Pretend that they invented "The Hammer of the Torah" - a tool for potency, such a spam was sent to me at work.
Strange hints, anyway. By the way, except for the Torah, no one could raise him.

[ + 14 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118788
 24.09.2015
I am often given an example of a woman’s loyalty, who, when her boyfriend got to the hospital after an accident, took care of him and then married him. But nobody pays attention to the fact that when the guy got to the hospital she was already pregnant with him.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118787
 24.09.2015
Real review of the sauna in Yekaterinburg on the flame (values one):

Me and my colleagues taught girls. It was cool, but I would still make a minimum estimate, as I had to spend all the money that the class gave for lunch, and I took it with me and spent it all. Now I crave myself for that.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №118786
 24.09.2015
I installed Windows 8.1 at work, but there was no driver on the old printer. I spent a week on computer and technical support. Finally set up and printed an application for dismissal

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №118785
 24.09.2015
I live next to the cemetery. A friend calls and joyfully reports that they and their husband are buying an apartment on the other side of the cemetery, right in front of me. She is delighted, we will visit each other, meet more often, live in the same area, etc.
I cried and noticed,
The main thing is not to meet in the middle.

[ + 15 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118784
 24.09.2015
Intim - in English "in team" - in the team.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №118783
 24.09.2015
A Cat’s Memory.

This story began in the late 90s. My friend (studying at the institute in the same group and living in the same room in the dormitory) married and with a young wife rented an apartment not far from my home. I was still single at the time and sometimes visited them.
Once there was a conversation about pets and his half said that they wanted to have a cat or cat, and not necessarily racial. And then one beautiful evening, coming back from work, I decided to jump to visit them. On the second floor (and they lived on the third floor on the fifth floor) I met a charming red kitten, then it turned out to be male. I used to call him “Kiss-Kiss” and go on to the third floor. The cat replied “miu” and drowned after me.
I knock at the door, a friend’s wife opens. We say goodbye and I ask, “Can we?Focus on the word “us”. The answer is a blatant look. I repeat the question again, while looking down. She lowers her eyes and sees a cat sitting at my feet. “Well come in.” There was an answer.
So in the lives of my friends and to some extent in my, this cat entered. He turned out to be quite clever, immediately accustomed to the pot and was left on "pleasure".
In the first days it was a very affectionate kitten, but literally a week later he felt like a master and already reluctantly climbed on his arms and let himself be licked. But a couple of weeks later the guys left for business, left me the keys and asked me to feed the cat. I worked, so I could only come in the evening. The cat, due to lack of attention, became cute again. He himself jumped on his arms or shaking his legs and constantly murmured.
When the owners returned, the kitten slapped for several days, and then became the same, slightly uninhabited.
Then a friend and wife bought an apartment at the other end of Moscow and moved with the cat to a new place. It was a long way away and I had not seen the cat for a long time. Then I got married, and a car came into the family. The mobility of travel allowed me to meet the cat again. My wife and I came to visit. The girls went into the room to discuss their “female” questions, and my friend and I went to the kitchen. I sat down on a chair, telling my news, and a red cat appeared on the doorstep. The little red cat turned into a furry red cat.
He went into the kitchen, looked up, approached me, jumped to me on his knees and lay down. I, without stopping the conversation with a friend, began to machine him, the cat murmured.
Five minutes passed, the cat got up, pulled, slipped from my knees to the floor and rushed out of the kitchen. A friend, when the cat has already left, said that no one of the guests himself is ever fit, and the owners do not give themselves to chew especially. Probably remembers who brought him out of the hungry wandering life to the people.
Later, when we visited, the ritual of kindness was repeated every time. It's good that friends don't have mice, but could get dead mice :)

This is such a story. And who would say that cats don’t remember good?

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №118782
 24.09.2015
Smoke with a burning hat.
A member passed.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №118781
 24.09.2015
In a distant childhood.
We are going to play with the boys in the courtyard in pioneerball.
Boys: Our team will be called "Little and bald"
And we are "Beautiful sex"!
Judge: So the team "Little and bald" against the team "Red and sweaty"...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №118780
 24.09.2015
Dress for Halloween.
In the meantime I had the idea of a witch and a witch.
I can ask my mom for a wedding dress and put it on.
If it falls
It is horrible.)
You can take from the village.
Lopata
Why the X-Files?
Let’s go to those who don’t believe we’re witches.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №118779
 24.09.2015
X is Hi! Turn on wifi on my notebook when you’re in the room.

Y: Okay, and what about Nafiga?

X: I sit on it. I work remotely on it. I decided to turn off Wi-Fi at work. I turned it off in the shell. and remote. I can’t go into him now.

Y: I will be late

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №118778
 24.09.2015
The smart Chinese. You order from them a tablet with good characteristics for the funny $150, and then from that tablet you sweep out the last money on the same alibaba express.
This is great #marketing!

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №118777
 24.09.2015
If life is hard,
Look at my friend’s roof.
Look at this fish.
To open everything again.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №118776
 24.09.2015
In a crazy house, everyone could say anything in his head, like in parliament.
© Switzerland

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118775
 24.09.2015
"The strongest beer is made in Scotland"

Googling has learnt. In 2013, the company "Brewmeister" produced the "Snake Venom", so (Snake Venom) is called the strongest beer in the world to date. The alcohol content in it is 67,5%"


[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №118774
 24.09.2015
"When I was in auto school, I was worried that I was crossing or moving in the wrong direction. by foot.

- I have a husband and now does not walk through the high edges - so that the tires do not tear :D

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