I stand in a traffic jams near the house, I call home with the thought of distracting, so they say to me that they look at the traffic jams and see me / car from the camera in the district lock. Then they rejoiced and said, “Look! Children are playing in the traffic! I see through the home camera - the children pulled all the machines into the center of the room and recreated this chaos at home. I’m going away, cha :)

In the context of the leader’s speech on the total debility of the subordinates, he declares
I am not asking you the theorem of Hippocrates.

A letter from the chiefs said that those who did not go on vacation this year urgently wrote a statement and went on vacation so as not to violate the law. I immediately wrote a statement, but I was not approved. "to work for no one".

So why are there such puzzles in the world?
First they come in three to teach life, and then they write statements to the militia because of a broken nose. And if they had won, they would have convinced everyone around them that "applications only cockroaches write."

Why are the manufacturers of my favorite phones always dead?
Siemens, Moto, now here is Sonic
Buy an iPhone!

by JJ
The red hat from my daughter.

A wolf goes to his grandmother and sees the mushrooms growing in her yard. The Mukhomors.
He ate a couple of pieces and then his mosquito asked, "Wolf, why do you have so big eyes?"

How do you feel about the butter?

WOW: I do not like

If you put an almond in it, it will be like Raphael.

And if you throw the straw and buy a pizza, then there will be a pizza.

While in Russian the word "jopa" means a lot, one of its main meanings is "homeland".

One day in the dining room, the big boss (BB) in front of me in turn bought a juice and asked for a single-use glass. The cashier (k) gives him it. He looks at him in the light.

BB is so dirty!
K – How is it? He takes it in his hands, turns it around, oh, and really dirty! It is not wet.
BB: Do you still wash them?0 0 O

The cashier hanged in the stool.

From the discussion of the bill on registration in social networks on passports:

Reminds me of the joke:
The district court banned the sale of Microsoft shares on the New York Stock Exchange

Misha had a week without a mate.
Now he says "ay, it didn’t work out!", "unfortunate situation", "unfortunate situation", "what to do", "uncomfortable", "how not good", "you don’t feel ashamed" etc. It lasts for the second day, but it looks like it will soon collapse.
And now I realized that I have a sad situation in my life and that is, of course, trouble and uncomfortable, but temporarily.

I walk around the area in the evening, meeting two people. They stopped in front of me, stood up in a half-circle, looking at me in focus. I calmly walk around them and go on. There is a voice from behind: "I said, he will be flattered!"

Q: Did you go to Cunningham?
Al: Is it near Poppengangen and Rotterdam?

Zil[]t (12:36:59 11/10/2012)
I was tested for schizophrenia today.
Zil[]t (12:37:30 11/10/2012)
How do you understand the proverb?
Zil[]t (12:38:17 11/10/2012)
Well I say - the cognitive process of perceiving a complex linguistic structure based on cultural stereotypes and metaphorical constructions implies...
Zil[]t (12:38:27 11/10/2012)
Then there were sanitaries.

Scientists have proven that cloning dinosaurs is impossible
...invented shoes with heels in front"

The Unfortunate News of Mail.ru

A is:
I am scared of Android.
A is:
I recently used voice recognition.
H is :
Oh yeah, it is fun.
A is:
He is stupid, I say you are a fool, and he writes me you are a fucker.
H is :
:D
A is:
How so at all.
A is:
:D
H is :
Why did you start first?
H is :
and :)
A is:
I apologized
H is :
And he?
A is:
also )
H is :
The incident is exhausted.
A is:
exactly )

Two graphic designers at the entrance on the 1st floor drink beer at night.
A girl with bright hair comes in and calls the elevator.
1st: 20,100,0 0
2nd: not, rather 40,100,10,0
The girl: O_O

From the Electronic Board of Publications:

"Master - carpenters Andrei and Ivan", please come back and finish the terrace. I will not beat. and Nicholas.

A woman like Robin Hood robbed the rich, but never shared with the poor.

I go home by the residential house.
On the balcony of the third floor smokes a well-suited man in treniques, naked torso.
From the back, a woman goes out to the balcony and crying begins to lick the man on his naked back, saying:
Why did you eat so much?
She cries in the voice and cries.
Why are you so rude?! to
He cries and cries even louder. A man is smoking, smoking.
Why are you so dumb?! Without a change?