bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №157023
 12.10.2021
Xxx: What is the name of a genre where a crowd of people is trying to get out of the room or perform any tasks?



Tagged: IKEA

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №157022
 12.10.2021
Sharing is not mine. I’m just busy taking a long rest before a hypothetically possible job.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №157021
 12.10.2021
On October 21, 1981, a submarine C-178 was killed in the Japan Sea near the Bosphorus Strait (Vladivostok). A refrigerator vessel crashed into it, which was led by an untreated starter, and the sober captain rested... lying. After receiving a deadly impact, the submarine lay on the ground at a depth of 32 meters with a huge gap in the sixth compartment.

In large part, the emergency situation was created by the operational duty brigade of the ships of the Primorsky Fleet, allowing the exit of the "Refrixerator-13" from the bay, and his assistant, arriving from the dinner, without thinking, gave a good at the entrance of the "S-178" in the golden horn bay, for some reason forgetting to transmit to it the information about the exiting ship.

After the fatal blow, seven people who were on the bridge, including the commander of the aircraft – captain of the 3rd rank Valery Marango, were on board. The personal composition of the feed compartments died almost immediately. A few officers and two dozen sailors remained in the noses. The command was taken by a senior assistant – Captain Lieutenant Sergey Kubynin.

Together with the commander of BCH-5, Captain Lieutenant Valery Zybin, they decided to take the surviving portion of the crew through the torpedo tube. However, the people in the torpedo compartment were much more than the staff and the rescue sets of the IDA-59 to get out of the sunken submarine were not enough... Meanwhile, the command of the TOP launched a rescue operation, and there was hope that the rescuers would be able to transfer the missing "sweepstakes" on board.

I had to wait three days. The darkness, the cold, the poisoned air... Time lasted deadly long. The forces of the submarines were melting, despite the fact that they were young strong guys 19-20 years old. Kubynin was the oldest – he surpassed 26 years. As the senior in age, rank and position, he was simply obliged to inspire the subordinates, to restore them hope for the best... Having built a staff in the outer darkness, Kubynin read the order to raise all titles and classness to one level, not lenient to make the corresponding record in the military tickets and fix it at the dim flashing light of the emergency lamp with a ship stamp...

After this, each sailor was awarded a sign "For the long journey" (a box with them was accidentally found in the second compartment). The mood in the semi-inundated compartment rose sharply, everyone immediately forgot about the temperature and inflammation of the lungs, which on the third day all were sick.

Finally, after receiving the missing IDA sets from rescuers arriving at the scene of the tragedy on the rescue submarine Lenok, Kubinin and Zybin began to release sailors. Three men plunged into the torpedo, which then drifted, filled with water, and then opened the front cover. And at the exit of the device, the boys waited for the dives, conducting them to the decompression chamber on board the neighboring Lenka lying on the ground. Those who, for one reason or another, went up to the surface, were subjected to the same procedure in the barocam of the surface vessel.

The last, as the commander of the ship, left the "S-178" Sergey Kubynin. And to do this for one person was fucking difficult! It was to flood the first compartment and, waiting for the water to reach the treasury part of the torpedo apparatus, to dive into it and pour 7 meters of iron pipes calibre 533 mm... Gull in the inflamed brain, work at the limit of human forces and revelation at the exit of the apparatus - around no one! As it turned out later, rescuers could not even assume that the last remaining on board could leave the submarine on their own and... put a cross on it, overturning the operation! Kubynin went on to the superstructure, deciding to get to the rubbish, and then jump to the surface. He failed – lost consciousness, and the water costume brought him to the surface... He was miraculously noticed among the waves from the rescue boat.

Sergei came to himself in the barocamera on the rescue "Giguli". In the vein of his right hand was wrapped the needle of the dropper, but the pain he did not feel - was in full spread. The doctors made him seven diagnoses: carbon dioxide poisoning, oxygen poisoning, pulmonary rupture, extensive hematoma, pneumotorax, bilateral pneumonia, broken drum membranes... He really recovered when he saw in the barocamera illuminator the faces of friends and co-workers: they soundlessly shouted something, smiled. Without being afraid of the strict medical generals, the boys broke into the Baroque Chamber.

Then there was a hospital. Seafarers, officers, nurses, completely unfamiliar people came to Kubinin’s chamber; they pressed their hand, thanked for the endurance, for the endurance, for the saved seafarers, gave flowers, carried grapes, melons, peppers, mandarins. It was in Vladivostok in October. The chamber where Kubynin lay was nicknamed "Citrus" in the hospital.

Sergey Kubynin has made at least three feats in his life. The first, officer – when he headed the surviving crew on a sunken submarine; the second – civilian, when years later managed to that the abandoned memorial of the dead sailors “C-178” was brought in order at the Maritime Cemetery of Vladivostok. Finally, the third, purely human feat – he took care of the surviving fellow servants.

Today, they have been a lot of years, and that overdose with all its medical consequences hit the body in the most devastating way. Former sailors and senior officers refer to him as their lifelong commander, to whom they believed then, at the death line, to whom they believe today, knowing that only he and nobody else will save them from the soullessness and arbitrariness of military commanding and medical officials. And he rescues them, writes letters to the highest instances, messes... forces the state to do what it is obliged to do without additional appeals to the president and the highest justice.

Today, especially after the tragedies of the nuclear submarines Komsomolets and Kursk, it became clear: what committed by Captain Lieutenant Sergey Kubynin and his mechanic Valery Zybin in October 1981 was not repeated by anyone. Except for the captain of the 1st rank Nikolai Suvorov, who organized the exit of his crew from the flooded K-429 atomic vehicle.

The award letter for the title of Hero of Russia, signed by prominent admirals of our fleet, including the former Chief Commander of the Navy of the USSR, Admiral of the Fleet Vladimir Chernavin, and remained under the costume of officials of the award department.

Today few people know about this feat... And yet we remember our heroes. We know Sergey Kubynin! Now our Hero serves in the Ministry of Emergencies, carries his guards in the position of the operational service of the Ministry of Emergencies of the South-Western District of Moscow. He still remains a Saviour in the full sense of the word!

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №157020
 12.10.2021
Have you heard the news that three Russian guys in Mahatchkala attached to a Dagestan girl and beat a Dagestan guy who advocated for her? I have not heard.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №157019
 11.10.2021
One thing is to respect power, another is to live with it.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №157018
 11.10.2021
On the other day in school praised the daughter (4th grade) teacher of English, says: I noticed that you became much more trying. What is the reason? Hiring a trainer?
Daughter, good soul: I want to escape from this country!
The teacher leaned to her and to her ear: “I too!”

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №157017
 11.10.2021
"The Russians were warned about the increase in prices of a number of goods by the end of 2021", the Ministry of Economic Development of the Russian Federation reassured: only two types of goods are heavily increasing - "non-food goods" and "food goods".

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №157016
 10.10.2021
I met a wife from work. I worked until 18:00, she until 20:00. Standing at the stop, he approached the door of the bus, saw his wife in the windows, approached the door and picked up and took it off the bus with his stretched hands. The next woman asked: What about me? He picked it up and dropped it down. And then on the machine picked up and dropped to the ground a thin guy who looked narcissistic, who at first quietly hanged on his arms, and then began to ferociously curl and mating.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №157015
 10.10.2021
I was in the hospital once. When he recovered, he went to the clinic for a hospital card on a bicycle. And that day I was shown on local television how I went. He accidentally stumbled in the picture.

At the end of the morning at work, a raid from the boss, which sick man you ride a bicycle.

And the fact that the date of the air and the closing of the hospital list coincide with no one fucking.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №157014
 10.10.2021
The lower your social responsibility, the higher your social status.

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №157013
 10.10.2021
My mother was a friend of a married man from whom I was born.

I remember as a child, we had no permanent housing, we wandered and rented apartments all the time.

When I was five, my mother met another man and wanted to be with him, but he set her a condition that she would take her if she was alone.

It was easy and simple to change this man to his son. She just brought me to my father and gave me all the necessary documents. She knocked on the door of his apartment, heard the sound of the opening of the castle and fled. And I remained standing.

My father opened the door and looked forward to seeing me. He knew who I was and went into the apartment.

His wife received me well, as did their children, daughter and son. My father wanted to send me to the shelter first, but his wife did not allow me to do so, saying I was not at fault. Just a holy woman.

At first I waited for my mother, thinking that she would soon come back for me. Then he stopped, and began to call his father’s wife his mother.
My father-in-law had no warm feelings for any of his children, let alone for me. He considered me an unnecessary mouth, but continued to contain me, as did the rest of the family.

He was a rather despotic man. When he came home, we locked ourselves together in the child’s room and tried not to get him in the eye. His wife could not leave his powerful husband, and he would not give her children out of principle. For years, I have endured all his walks and attacks of anger. She learned to avoid him and, when necessary, to suppress his anger, to protect us from scandals and screams. There was silence in the house, we knew the schedule and did not annoy my father. Most importantly, we didn’t need anything, and my mother gave us love and affection for both.

And when he went to another young mistress, we all breathed with relief. At that time we were almost adults. My sister and brother finished school. By coincidence, we were peers, so I also prepared for graduation exams at school. Three of the graduates. We helped each other by pulling up objects.

Everyone wants to go to a prestigious institute. Father, although he was not with us grace, but to pay for the school promised and kept his word. We entered and learned, getting the specialties we dreamed of.

Then it happened that my father died. There is a good inheritance after him.
His last mistress didn’t get anything — she just didn’t have time to marry him for herself. Well, we all became full owners of his firm and money accounts.

We continued to develop business. Then came the moment when I had to go abroad and open a new branch. I decided that I would be the head of the branch.
I proposed to take our mother with me — she was like no one else, deserved to go to a warm country. My sister and brother supported my idea.

And then came the moment when we had to leave. Then suddenly my mother painted. I recognized her immediately. My childhood memory has captured her image for many years.
She decided to suddenly remember me when she learned that I was leaving:
“Son, I am your real mother. Have you forgotten me? You have become such an adult.
I missed and worried about how you lived. Let’s finally live together!”
I was stunned by her boldness:
“Of course I remember you! I remember how you ran out of the door, leaving me still very young.
You are not my mother. My mother is now leaving with me. I don’t even want to know you.”
He turned and left. I do not regret a drop of it.

My mother is the one who was not afraid to take her husband's child from a strange woman, who raised me in love and affection. She sat with me when I was sick, she was there when my heart was broken for the first time, she reassured me after a quarrel with friends, she taught me, she forgave me nonsense and nonsense, she endured my caprices as a teenager, she never reminded me that I was not her. For her I became a son, for me she became a mother. I have no other!

We went to another country with her. There I met my future wife, my mother liked it and they had a good relationship. My mother was not an obstacle to my personal life, she dared to arrange her own life. She met a nice man, I was just for. She deserved her happiness! My mother travels a lot and often visits her children and grandchildren. I look into her joyful eyes and I understand – I’m glad that she’s in my life. She is my guardian angel!

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №157012
 10.10.2021
VCIOM conducted a national survey to find out which city is the second largest in Russia. The results were as follows:
Residents of Novosibirsk replied - Novosibirsk
Residents of Yekaterinburg answered - Yekaterinburg
Residents of Kazan responded - Kazan
Residents of St. Petersburg responded - Moscow

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №157011
 09.10.2021
Gas prices in Europe have fallen after Putin’s announcement.

Could Vladimir Vladimirovich speak about the prices for forests, household services and products, further on the list?

Not just in Europe?

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №157010
 09.10.2021
I control the time my two daughters use the phone (9 and 11 years old).
Two hours a day all the apps in the phone work, after 10 p.m. - goes to brick mode (through parental control), only the call and Whatsapp (yes and right, you need to sleep, and not do anything).
The children strike and are very upset:
Dad, it is not fair. Sometimes you are sitting on your phone and no one limits you. And then on the computer!
I laughed and asked:
Do you want justice, just as your dad?
Children of the Choir:
and yes!
Are you sure? Not to complain afterwards.
and yes! Yes to! Yes to!
“Well,” I said and picked up their phones. I will give you your phones at 20 years old. That was when I got my first mobile phone.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №157009
 09.10.2021
Net profit of Roscosmos for 2020 - 300 million rubles (42 times less than in 2019).
Rogozin's earnings for 2020 - 83 million RUB (two times more than in 2019).
That is, the entire Roscosmos can pull only four Rogozins, and one of them will have to starve a little.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №157008
 08.10.2021
xxx: Definitely a couple of administrators of hotels, restaurants, etc. will respond to the "System Administrator" job.



YYY: Well, I’ll just work as an administrator for you, and then until the system grows.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №157007
 08.10.2021
If you don’t have offshore accounts, it doesn’t mean you’re an honest person, you’re just a poor person.

[ + 47 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №157006
 08.10.2021
When the children were younger, we gathered together in the evening with several families to Halloween, turning off the lights and telling terrible stories in turn. Who is scary about the black hand from childhood, who from books, and who from life. One comrade told me.

They returned from fishing in the autumn. Somewhere in Ukraine. There were no navigators. To cut, they turned to an unknown ground and lost themselves. It has darkened, the car is carried through the forest, a truck without rear lights is winding in front of it, the headlights are picking out of the darkness the crude pine, the bush, like a ghost, it is not clear what.

There is something big and winged flying in front of me. Whether it is a bird or a flying mouse, but strange, the body is too fat for such a wing span. Then another one. The next with a loud knock breaks the front glass, leaving a bloody spot on the glass. And one more, and yet, the whole forehead in bloody flooding, it seems the next to break the glass, it is hard to see where to go. Then the bodies of these birds begin to get on the road, more and more often, they are already so many that the driver has no time to get around, they crack under the wheels, the car drives. The driver stops, tries to get out, slides onto a dead bird and falls with a scream of horror. The rest jump out of the car, run into the forest, but the storyteller, overcoming fear and disgust, stops and raises one bird for the wings to look closer.

They were not birds. It was a rotten beetle that came out of the truck. In the darkness, the boat looked like wings.

Do not fear anything. All our fears eventually turn into a rotten beetle.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №157005
 08.10.2021
The chief physician of "Communarchy" Procenko said that the development of the situation with the coronavirus is not predictable. But millions of "sofa virologists" for some reason managed to accurately predict in six months that about the coronavirus before the "elections" nothing will be heard, and after the announcement of their results we will be tormented by another "wave".

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №157004
 07.10.2021
Stupid decisions are made - simple, fast and do not require justification!
But here is their cancellation... It’s difficult, long and with enough justification!

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