to this:

My wife decided to cut her hair. Yesterday I showed a photo of my new hair, asked for an opinion. I said I don’t like it completely, but I like it as it is now. Today I cut my hair, came pleased, asked for an opinion again. I answered honestly that it was bad. He is upset, does not talk. And so every time.
The women! If you are interested in your husband’s opinion – listen to him, or don’t ask any shit!

A brief summary of the author’s style: Men! Ecli you want logical actions, don't marry stupid chickens, or don't complain about the shit!

XXX: What is an oxymoron?
yyy: Combination of untold
zzz: The phrase "I wrote a good code" is a clear oxymoron.

- I came across an interesting article, there is a comparison of Italians and Russians. The conclusion is that the Russians are dumb Italians, and the Italians are funny Russians.
That’s why I didn’t like them so much! Everyone is having fun, shit.

When I remember my grandfather, I will always remember his great sense of humor.
I remember when I was a child, when I was about 6 years old, I came to visit him with my mother.
He met me at the threshold and in his own manner decided to play with me. He put a ball under my feet and says, “Let’s pin, I’ll catch it,” “To my surprise, the ball was unbeatable and almost didn’t move from place. Grandfather even more stunned me; "Pin the stronger! And as I didn’t pin him he almost didn’t spin, and like a pinal he was very much and the leg was already hurt, but the ball didn’t want to spin. I don’t know how long it would last, but my mom came and said it was a strawberry.

Arch: Symbolic
Arch: One-third of Heracles’ feats were to do something.
Arandir: Or give someone a puddle
Arch: Yes, it’s okay if there’s a hydra or a lion.
Arch: but backward
Arch: The Hero that Ancient Greece Deserves

At 30 years of age, you realize that "married successfully" is when you are satisfied and your mother is not.

What is the top of hypocrisy? This is when one bandit gives the icon to another, and the third stands next to them and blesses them both.

When I was in college, we had the subject "Data Base". He had to write a course. As the teacher told us, he was very tired of coursework on standard topics, such as the database of the hotel, warehouse, clinic, taxi station, etc. He promised that the one who surprises him with an unusual theme will receive an additional point.
All the students put their brains on and started to work. There were databases of the veterinary clinic, MMO games, social networks. But most of all was surprised by one fellow student who brought the database of the Holy Inquisition.
He gives it, and they have this dialogue with the teacher:
“Yes, young man, you have no options in the column “Resultat of the Investigation” except “Fire a Witch on Fire.” This is a mistake, go correct it.
The student responds calmly:
How did you think it was a mistake?

Doctors should not be ashamed. They are, they say, unsettled...
Just these people didn’t see our dentist with a fifth-size bust.
Putting over the patient, she doesn’t even ask him to open his mouth.

Man is different from an animal in that he can solve problems not with his fist.
--------
I fully support! Wearing firearms is prohibited.

The Japanese hippies do not ask about the area, but "from which island are you?"

I went to work on one financial site, let me think I'll see what's going on there with the exchange rate.. and I'm waiting for the next record
The interbank is dead, Jim!
The implementation of the interbank trading process was stopped. This can be caused by the lack of ZVR or non-professionalism of the NBU. To continue, update the composition of the Verkhovna Rada and the Cabinet of Ministers or move to another country.
O_o admin such fun guys

Lying
You are a cute shit.
I gave you everything! power, wealth and women. I put you on your feet! Are you talking to me that way?! to

Zhenya
I forgot to add "the horse"

Lying
I gave you everything! power, wealth and women. I put you on your feet! Do you talk to me like that, horse?! to

xxx: On the guillotines of Russian production in general in a clever way. To cut, you need to place your hand on the sides and press two buttons at the same time and then press the pedal with your foot. An accident is impossible.
What is the head for?
XXX: There the hands are strongly spread, the head does not fall. I have checked :)

From where is, went and took the name "Kyivskaya Rus":

At a time when the Russian historical science periodized the past of Russia, Russian historian Sergey Soloviev (1820-1879) divided the past of Russia into several stages. He divided it, based on the location of the capital of the State. Rus of Kiev, Rus of Vladimir, Rus of Moscow, Russia of St. Petersburg. This is where the education "Kyivskaya Rus" came from. Although we will emphasize that this is a conditional name, introduced by historians, and it never existed in our past reality.

Here is so.

The girl shouts at the puppy:
“Mom, let me buy it for my money, please.
My daughter has a cat! to eat!
I will talk to her.

Oil is cheaper - gasoline is more expensive, ruble is cheaper!
W W W W W W W? ! to

How I understand you...

Fuchs just happened. I work as a driver, I sit for lunch, and behind the back of the girls are chopped. I decided to look at them. I look in the mirror, but there is no mirror. A bit of hysteria has not begun... It’s time for vacation.

I go to the store near the house, at the crossroads I turn...and here "tile", such in a red circle...think in the halo: "you where? There is also a brick, there can not be." It became like digged. A few seconds of confusion: "No, it’s okay, I’m walking"

K.HWhat should you do if you have a hot potato in your suitcase?
You reminded me of a cult from a distant youth.
The matter was in nature, there was a conflict with the brother-fighting. I am not small, but with such a closet sparring is not an option for me.
As a result, wrapping his hand with a cloth, he grabbed the coal from the mangal and threw him wherever he would get - behind the shirt, under the cloth, in the pants. I was able to throw it in, faster than it was to take it out, so I was still able to throw it out.
Flawless victory.

A friend’s husband decided to embarrass her, saying, how limited you are with me, you have no hobbies. What the wife did not confuse and gave out: "You know, sweet, I have dreamed of collecting diamonds all my life!" The man is now silent, the theme of hobby does not raise anymore.