The only thing you can really be sure of in Russia is the results of the elections.

I was 35 years old. I am standing on the street, waiting for someone. Nearby is a mother with a two-year-old boy. Suddenly the little girl crashes and runs to me shouting:
and Dad! and Dad!
His mother stopped him with the words:
This is not my dad, this is my uncle.
and a little silent.
Do not scare my uncle.

We are demanding to remove the movie Matilda from the rental!
Why is?
He insults the feelings of believers.
Do not let them look!
They cannot. Interesting is!

This is:

It is funny to watch cats invent heroic stories about their favorite cats.

Why invent them? I have, for example, cats about a week ago in the night in the apartment caught a flying mouse - flying, looking, in a fork... How I think, how many nerves they saved my wife, and therefore me, tenderness straight to them wakes up... Also defenders!

The trouble is not in fools and roads, but in the fact that millions are attached to relics, but to the commandments of the one.

I spoke a few days ago with a friend on the topic of “theft concepts” in our country. He told me a story that happened to him about 5 years ago.



It stands in a local small provincial town store. A few people in turn. He feels like someone is digging in his back pocket. He turned and managed to catch the guy who pulled his phone out. He sharply struck the thief on the floor and broke his hand. It looked like an 18-year-old guy. My friend tells the saleswoman to call the police, and then the thief will say, “Please, I didn’t know! I did not want! Please let go! I am not specifically! I will go home! Well please!”



My friend quietly listens to it and asks again to call the police. The seller depended. After 30 seconds, a conversation begins between everyone (there were two other men and one woman in the store):

Let him go. I was wrong once. Not in jail, the seller started talking, and then they picked up everything.

Leave the boy, why break his life?

Yes let go. The first time. He will immediately go to prison. He is very young.



And so on, my friend is waiting in full swing. At that moment a girl came into the store. He asked what had happened and then called the police. The only adequate person among the others present. Then the saleswoman calls her employer:

- Ivan Ivanovich (name invented), come here, here is DRAKA.



Ivan Ivanovich arrives faster than the police (minutes in 4). He sees my friend sitting on a guy. Without a scandal, he clarifies what happened. He then asks the seller why she didn’t call the police. Something went wrong (“Well, how about,” “Why right away”). After a short time, law enforcement officials come and take the guy along with my friend. All the buyers dropped before they knew what was going on. Fortunately, there was a camera in the store.

The smell of a real man

From my own experience, I will say that all the smelly people from close surroundings are mostly men, but a couple of women also met, as it turned out, have virtually no sense of smell. I started a conversation on the subject of hygiene (the soul of the poet did not withstand) - as a result of wildly surprised eyes, people did not suspect what discomfort they were causing to others. And by the way, after such a revelation, people began to do something. One friend even went to the doctor about this, healed the fungus on his legs finally.

Django: Megaphone as imperial China - only eunuchs remained from the technicians. Actually now the first line of the TP consists of the TP.

Assistance with orientation in the area. Sometimes in the early 2000s, young people of high-definition approached me, trying to find out where you have a station in Moscow. It took about five minutes to find out that they were interested in bus stations, and then an impasse: to convey to them the idea that "here we have more than one, and from the nearest bus stop without transfers you can't get to any I couldn't. Well though, I decided that I was stupid and myself not oriented here, and left behind.

The stress.
A smartphone has just fallen from the 12th floor. The grass below. I went searching. I lost the key to my apartment. The Shadow. I had a lamp with me. I did not find a hero. I addressed the young men. I called, the phone was found. There is no key. Or to smoke. Half an hour. There is no key. Other guys are coming. One of my friends found it right away. Not where I was looking for.
This is Monday 14th.

We go to work with animals.
Do you call your colleagues so kindly?

Her tongue is like a shave.
XXX: Is it so sharp?
Wut: No, it’s whirling all the time.

of Fear

Night, the fourth hour, the thunder before the thunderstorm. At home no one except the cat, long tortured spread on the kitchen floor. I decide to go to bed - maybe I will still be able to fall asleep, tomorrow, probably today, to work. I get up and go to the balcony to close the windows. I stop at the open window and, hanging up with the upper part of my body on my shoulder, scattered looking down from the 9th floor... and here someone gently but pretty strongly pushes me in the shoulder forward. In horror, I get stuck with my cramped fingers into the frame, I sharply turn my head... and I see that it is from the weight of my body that the window began to shut itself, shit.

C to Habbah:

And it’s not just about refrigerators. Everything has become smart, from cars to cars. The castles are also on this list.

When will people be on this list?

From the textbook of A. Corman

So, if there are at least 23 people in a room, then with a probability of 1/2 some two of them were born on the same day. On Mars, where it consists of 669 Martian days, there must be at least 31 Martian in the room.

X-Men, just keep it in your head.

x: Now I go in the electric car SPB-49km, sellers walk pushing all kinds of goods, a aunt goes and sells anniversary coins, She stops an old grandfather, looking like 70 years old and asks - "and you have bitcoin?"

I turned out to go to the mail, I ask a question in one window, I explain everything in detail, she says "to you in the neighboring window." I go over and see behind the glass as she goes over too, we look at each other and she asks, “What’s the question you have,” with a look as if you haven’t seen each other a second ago. I had to repeat everything from the beginning. Bld, did it crumble during the transition or what is there, how do they work?

“The first blade is clean, the second is even cleaner.”

Mathematician: Either the first blade is NOT clean, or the second blade is not needed. Why shave what is clean?

Physicist: You are wrong. “Cleaning” means shaving more than 99% of the hair. After the first blade, part of the hair will remain, and after the third, all the hair will be cut.

Marketing: You are both wrong.

History: 15th century - in Damascus create self-propelled blades. 20th century - in the West create self-dampening machines.

The Marketing: It is! We created a shave that stops working after the first shave. To do this, the technicians placed the blades at a distance in the thickness of the hair. The gap is clogged with cut hair and it becomes impossible to shave. How to explain this to buyers? This is why we came up with the slogan of “clean, even cleaner.”

> the reluctance to tell the road to the lazy left-handed hernia from the mountain

Soon is. She is the most. I don’t want to orient a person. If so, I am the most hated of all of you shit, that is, the indigenous moscovite. But from me, for some reason, the crown does not fall to indicate the road, and not to cover with epithetics.

I work in the north with my husband. Yesterday they brought a bear. Since he was very small, all who took him on his hands he licked in search of milk. He liked my husband. He shaved his whole face and neck. My husband got sick tonight. I called an ambulance. So I learned that my husband was allergic to a bear.