bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №143894
 14.08.2017
What does a terrorist do in the garden? Setting up panic.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №143893
 14.08.2017
Attention to! by Laik! by Sher! The Transition! This is a British cat Dean. To the pot and the cocktail is taught.
What is Dinara’s full name?
Full name: Diana Morgan Stern Aurica Cecilia

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №143892
 14.08.2017
by Yascher:
Read here, as Chuvacu as a fix for spontaneous speaker turn on during a call, advised to remove the latest updates of the Chrome browser.

by Yascher:
Today, Google, "what to do if when connecting to a PC the phone restarts". Well, I think, probably the static of something, you need to ground the USB in the computer or something else. It was not here:

"In the settings (Settings - Sound and Image - Call for Reminder) return the default sound to the system notification, or remove it at all."

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №143891
 14.08.2017
In eight hours, I will have to make a vital call. Of course, you can buy an enhanced battery. Of course, you can also add external to the load. But, putting my hand on my heart, I confess: it is much cheaper for me to ask a passing person for a road than to perform shamanic rituals with my smartphone.

Of course, it is easier to transfer your problems to someone else. Stay with questions to the passers, rather than take measures so that the smartphone with the card does not discharge, or the external battery is unrealistic right off the road. Carrying your baggage with you in public transportation is expensive. Give up your car where you got, or paid parking is expensive.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №143890
 14.08.2017
I calculated that when you stay home alone, it is better not to close the door in the toilet.
XXX See also. When can it be important? When someone else appears in the house besides you. Who can you be if you don’t wait for anyone and the door is locked? Just a thief. If the thief broke into the apartment, tried to enter the toilet (a little - confused, decided to look for secret nits there or really wanted to go to the toilet), and there is closed, then he will understand that there is someone inside, and can open the door with something. So you will not only be wrapped, but also locked in your own toilet, which increases the time needed to call the police. And if there is open, then he, without suspecting anything, enters, and you have a second to react and prepare a counterattack.
yyy: headlines: "The owner of the apartment stole the thief who broke into him"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №143889
 14.08.2017
We have a normal office. Personally, I and a few other high-ranking technicians can arrange Armageddon in any case, but we won’t. Have you forgotten your conscience?

It also depends on how conscientiously (or against conscience) the management of your office will deal with you.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №143888
 14.08.2017
The owner notes:
Sardinia can be eaten so that then no guy will even hint you about the mine.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №143887
 14.08.2017
Phantom: I don’t seem to know anything about my younger sister.
Stalingrad: It’s as simple as three pennies as all the gopniks.
Phantoms: In the history of the browser and found it.
How much does it cost to rewrite a computer game for Android?
Book of Assembly.
Teachers of C++.
Documents in Java.
Phantom: What do you think has this to do with the fact that she settled the Space Rangers?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №143886
 14.08.2017
XXX:... increasingly stirring up your mouthpiece of death...
YYY: There is still a mock of repression. Deposited by biologist Trofim Lysenko on the order of Stalin personally.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №143885
 14.08.2017
Discussion of the story on the Mracopedia about how the cat during the sleep of the hostess fought with an unknown creature who attacked her:

It is funny to watch cats invent heroic stories about their favorite cats. It’s very hard to accept that your carpenter just eats, cheats, sleeps and spoils furniture, right? Oh yeah, he considers you a food supplier, a pudding machine and a cuddle. and Angie.

...squeezing fresh wounds, trembling from anger with her legs filled a cat-hating stone expelled from their room, arriving at the compass.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №143884
 14.08.2017
VC Survey: Briefly guys, a social survey. Try to approach him as responsibly as possible.
...
What is the worst insult a man can hear from his girlfriend?
...
Choose the 3 toughest options.

Your father has more.
and upd. What do you love from life fucking.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №143883
 14.08.2017
The attack of wild elephants is not uncommon in India. According to government reports, approximately 300 people die under these mammals every year.
Yyy: Ryl the land of an elephant
Because the champion
YYY: Because in the covers
Yyy: He’s jumping very fast.
YYY :
Yyy: And how many people die from the branched elephant horns? Even if the poem is already running out...


[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №143882
 14.08.2017
I have already received calls from various banks with the offer to issue a credit card. To my question: "Why is it for me?" they answer: "Well, you will not have money, you will be delayed, and you will not have to be humiliated by borrowing from friends or relatives. Just use our card, and with the salary you will return, there is up to 55 days of interest-free period. This is very convenient". I don’t understand how uneducated you need to be to behave on such information and build your life so that you can borrow from a bank and then give it. After all, it is much more profitable to have a debit card at hand with your personal funds and in case of their withdrawal, put back as it becomes possible. Here you do not have to pay any interest, on the contrary, many banks charge you interest for the money on the account, it is your money, not the bank. Remember, once you borrow money, you do not take it from the bank, but from yourself in the future.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №143881
 14.08.2017
I know some friends with brains who don’t wash their hands in the toilet after themselves.
Probably the ass is washed once a month, so that the natural pH does not wash.)
Very intelligent people are often very stinking. This is their protection. They are displaced in separate offices and are rarely disturbed.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №143880
 14.08.2017
xxx: Government policy towards citizens has smoothly descended to the bar "that we put on your constitution at all";
YYY: Great news, in two years I will look at him with warmth and remember the former freedom, while I will have a camera from Roskomnadzor installed in my house to make sure my private life with my wife is not too strict in the opinion of the observing officer...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №143879
 14.08.2017
Making the lighting "business" news of the robot generally elementary. We connect it to current stock exchange quotations, and then learn to issue “analytics” in the spirit “on the backdrop of the weakening of the dollar to the euro and the passage of Saturn through the constellation of Aquarius, the shares of European energy companies are rising slightly”... even without any neural networks, on old technologies.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №143878
 14.08.2017
Ficus: I was asked by Von Danya yesterday what "the-three" is. A document, says heaven, or some form. dffsu: I heard that TZ was deciphered as a point of view, but here is something new)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №143877
 14.08.2017
Driving on a short journey, driving through another remote village from civilization I say: "Well, judging by houses and courtyards, as everywhere, someone lives better, someone lives worse."
"Someone doesn’t live at all" melancholy continues the spouse, thoughtfully looking at the guest...

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №143876
 14.08.2017
The team "Let them talk" has left the First Channel. What did you do, what helped? Dust or "Mashenka"?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №143875
 14.08.2017
We produce a large number of batteries.
And how much?
The most in the world, and this factory is not yet completed.
How much?
We will produce 10 times more.
How many batteries are manufactured at the Gigafactory?
We will build two or three gigabytes.
How much. of batteries. is done?
You want to ride a car, right?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna