bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №133479
 13.09.2016
I came here to dig potatoes. Having loaded the last bag in the bag, my wife and I went to the bus stop. There are local ones. They noticed us, they fit. Well there, like, there are sighs, all that, classic, shorter. Fighting with them is reluctant. Well, I, like Gordon, went down the elevator to their level and said, “Brother, you are what, you mark yourself first, you are who? I am Vitya Kalina, and who are you?” (the wife’s surname is Kalina))) A man with respect: “Aaa, I heard, I’m sorry, brother.” My wife now calls me that.
·•×Xו

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №133478
 13.09.2016
Moderate people believe that there is no causal link between HIV infection and AIDS. And their arguments, I must say, are pretty convincing.
and
Oh, just until the moment that this “moderate-convincing” will not warm up dying in an infection. Here they immediately agree on anti-retroviral therapy, and squeeze the doctors money for increased doses of immunoglobulin... where only dissent happens, right? How many such patients I have seen - not in a fairy tale to say. No one retained their "beliefs" in their entirety in the face of immunostatus below 100 (in the healthy - almost 10 times higher).

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №133477
 13.09.2016
Or they have an intercooler, like the monsters in Douma. and (

There will soon be monsters in the Duma.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №133476
 13.09.2016
On the sidewalk, a cute cloud is painted with a pink mole and a pink inscription with whiplashes with a crisp child's handwriting: "Whoever stands up here will die."

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №133475
 13.09.2016
The Mracopedia. Comments on the story "The Monster on the Road".

The idea of escape. Have you tried to escape an ordinary cat?

What did you do to the cat when you had to beat her?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №133474
 13.09.2016
The current crop

Last year I wondered if I needed it. In this, they just silently carry directly to me home or to work apples, zucchini, cucumbers, tomatoes. in industrial quantities.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №133473
 13.09.2016
The phone call *
Good morning, do you feel comfortable talking?
I have a Galaxy Note, so it’s not very comfortable.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №133472
 12.09.2016
Dark, long wandering beer with a strong bitterness, caramel taste and honey aroma.
I drank this lately.
HGH: bitterness is masculine
Wauu: Male bitterness - a good name for tincture
% of marriage

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №133471
 12.09.2016
This your obmudsman (no, not a mistake) by the way in the UK in the group of HIV dissidents consisted where there was a telegraph. Per it is now, by the way, but even if I thought to clean up, the closets have already split. If anyone is unaware, HIV dissidents claim that HIV and AIDS do not exist. HIV and AIDS patients are interesting: not considering their disease as such, they are not treated and continue to live like nothing before. Isn’t it scary to live around like this?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №133470
 12.09.2016
Why do you pack your suitcases and leave?
and yes.
Far away for a long time?
and yes.
Why is?
Did you send me yesterday? This is far and long.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №133469
 12.09.2016
The administrators were called, asked to unlock the mail of the dismissed employee, in order to send a letter on his behalf with a farewell. I ask: Is it compulsory? The last will of the deceased. And another admin: - From our company only forward with our feet.
Maximum of black humor.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №133468
 12.09.2016
More and more funny:

About 50 million euros, which were deposited in Latvian banks by former Deputy Prime Minister of Ukraine Sergei Arbyzov and entrepreneur Yuri Ivanyushchenko, were found illegally acquired and seized by the police in favor of the Latvian treasury, the program of Latvian television De Facto.

According to the information available to the journalists of the program, in the autumn of 2014, the Prosecutor General of Ukraine Vitaly Yarema announced that the former Deputy Prime Minister of Ukraine Sergei Arbyzov in the banks of Latvia arrested 49,3 million US dollars.

The arrest was also imposed on accounts in Latvian banks of Ukrainian entrepreneur and politician Yuri Ivanyushenko, who held there 32 million dollars and 72 million Swiss francs. The Prosecutor General’s Office of Latvia has sent a request to its colleagues in Ukraine about the origin of these funds, but has never received a response.

“Unfortunately, we did not receive information from Ukraine in response that this money was stolen from the state and should be returned to Ukraine,” Attorney General Eric Kallenmeiers told reporters.

Since Latvian law allows capital to be recognised as illegally obtained before the investigation was completed, the Latvian police took advantage of this and confiscated it. A total of 50 million euros from these funds have been transferred to the Latvian budget.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №133467
 12.09.2016
Never keep a baby and a parrot in the same room. The baby stops crying by a year. But this fucking bastard...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №133466
 12.09.2016
I go to the metro today. A familiar situation: at the exit is a grandmother with a suitcase, a battle filled with all kinds of sludge. The grandmother does not go out herself and interferes with others. Proletarian Station, a bunch of people, an Armenian man with a very pregnant wife (8-9 months) is about to get out, well, and of course there is a dialogue:
Next time you go out?
and no. (Man and wife are missing)
Next time you go out?
and yes.
And it turns out that he and his wife grandmother interfere most, because there are many outings, and the pregnant wife needs more space. And here the man gives with his characteristic accent:
Grandmother, here is the community that goes out on the slide! Please go away!
The people stumbled!
•×s and×s

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №133465
 12.09.2016
One acquaintance aunt very much likes to grieve about what everyone around is aggressive and intolerant, it is very difficult to live in such an environment.

And then I went to that aunt on Facebook and saw a post with a recipe for cheesecakes. And in the text of the attack in the spirit "every stupid fool adds a hint, we, normal people, never do so", in the comments of the holiwar with wishes to die on the topic "how to better shape the cheesecakes - hands to glue or cut off the sausage", banks, curse, friends for ideological reasons... It is hard to live among intolerant people, Aunt Kat, yes. Almost impossible!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №133464
 12.09.2016
Comments on the correct writing of words in Russian.
I think people will read more here than in the "Russian textbook."
Googmen: Those topics include only those who are interested in it.
It is written "right"
Felicia: By the way, "on the other hand" is written together, and "never" - separately!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №133463
 12.09.2016
And on the other hand, Varka and I went to the Conservatory, to Prokofiev.
And they put it out on the heating rope. Can you see the effect?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №133462
 12.09.2016
A site dedicated to Zen, Tao and similar Eastern philosophy. With a faulty encoding - the entire text on the site consists of black squares. Looking at it, I cried and understood Zen.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №133461
 12.09.2016
Listening to a wife’s conversation with her friends:
I am not offended by my husband because I immediately realized he was a fool.
How is it?
- Well, we were on the alloy with a large company and stopped at the stall on the pitch. And there were the cows of God visibly-invisible and we and the girls picked up their full palms and let us start with the words: God's cow flew to heaven, let your children eat candy there! And then Jura comes with the cow in his hand and says: God's cow go to hell, let your children eat sinners! He throws her into the ground. Then I understood everything...

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №133460
 12.09.2016
Let the sick children take money from the budget for treatment.
Getting paid on the first channel?
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A salary for footballers - on the results of SMS-voting during the match

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