Judging by the anecdotes, the "Russian way" is a road paved with robbers.

...I came to Karma with Ibolit. Yes, no names, no names in us, bloggers, only clicks are bad. Just like the Siu Indians. Ibolite, in particular, is due to Ibolite, which has been treating animals for several decades. When he sat next to the refrigerator and began to exchange his life experience for my pasta, I wanted to wipe my eyes - not Darrell's own person in my kitchen turns a second plate. In particular, he told about the poppy, the dream of his life. Very big and evil, like love for a goat.
He has been dreaming of a puppy for many years. And one day he was invited to his country villa by some oligarch, a servant of the people, to treat a sick skunk. There was a cage in the vast golden spaces of the villa. And in her, on her bedroom, she was drunk, a swallow, a green dream. Having noticed Abolit’s passionate gaze towards the poppy, the oligarch generously shrugged his hand:
Do you like? Take it.
At home, it was discovered that the poppy who grew up in the atmosphere of luxury had the nature of the wardalaq and the inclination of the cannibal. Maybe the former owner knows him. He was constantly trying to get stuck in Ibolit’s hand. And quite soon he succeeded. The blood immediately flowed through the river. The painting resembled the culmination of the gladiator battle. The butterfly, without pressing the clove, watched the enemy carefully. Ibolit, who in his century saw more beasts than I saw books, did not take his hand away. As he coldly explained, washing the pasta:
Then the pope would think he won and I lost.
And only when the aggressor began to swallow blood, he spit out his hand, and with apparent resentment.
After this battle of characters, the descendant of the pterodactiles recognized Aybolit as the master. But only him. All guests were told to stay away from the bird.
But one day a fun semi-Georgian company collapsed with a visit. They drank a lot, sang a lot and had a great time. Ibolithus, who did not lose his vigil, warned:
Do not put your hands on a poppy.
Guests looked at the brutal bird with interest, especially one lady. She whispered and from time to time cuddly stated to the poppy:
In Georgia, we would have made you savi! The Saints!
The spider was hardly silent, although under normal circumstances he was quite conversational. As it turned out, he waited.
At some point, the lady did not resist and broke the ban.
There was a ruthless slaughter.
There was a lot of blood.
A few months later, the same company came together again. The fun Georgian to the poppy no longer sat down. On the contrary, he was clearly resurrected. He insisted Hoh. He turned his head to the side and looked at the guest with one eye. Everything jumped out with an increasing amplitude. I turned to the bottom and looked. He returned to the original position and moved a stepping step down the roof. He approached the woman as closely as he could and told her:
The Saints?

by Greenbat

Religion is a smart business idea. You sell an invisible product, and if it does not work, you can always blame the customer.

It's good when a girl has a beautiful pop, but it's bad when it's the only thing she's great about.

I came to the market for a jacket, winter is near.
Well, I chose, I negotiated, I bought, the seller asks what else I need, I say jeans. The jacket seller took me to a jeans seller and told him I needed jeans at a very good price.
I picked the jeans and asked the seller, how much?
Five thousand rubles for you, brothers.
I - you fell from the oak, what five, a half!
PD - 3500, the last price, for you. This is Armani!
I would have been Montana or Wrangler, I would have bought.
And I went to another place, well, I understand that the price of jeans includes the share of the jacket seller, but if they gave the jeans for 2,500, I would buy, but the PD stood up.
I bought the jeans somewhere else.
And on the exit I met a jacket seller, he asked me if I bought jeans from his friend, I said I bought, great jeans your friend found me, and for just seven thousand!

Let them understand each other now. I am ugly.

Dear Facebook, stop offering me people I may know. I know them. I do not like them.

About the stupidity of the heroes of horror films has been said a lot.

But one case in my life made me think about how real people would behave in such a situation.

I worked in a factory and, among other things, I needed to remove the size of one room in one of the workshops. There were no actual plans for this building, everything was constantly rebuilt, and the 2nd floor, on which this room was, was generally semi-accidental.

I come there, I open the door (a massive one, it still has a locking mechanism is an armature that descends down into a hole in the floor to open or close, you need to first turn the pen of this armature to the side, and then raise it).

In this room, as in the whole floor, there is semi-darkness (there is rarely anyone walking, the semi-accidental floor). I go in, the door under my weight closes behind me, but not to the end. I approach her, pushing a little, and she doesn’t open! Pressed stronger and opened. It turned out that this armaturin fell down and almost went into a hole in the floor. A little more and I would be locked up there. The following factor would be involved. In this room, t. It is in an old building and closed by a massive iron door, there is no connection at all!

After supporting the door with bricks, I made the necessary measurements, painted the chart of the room, to then reflect it in the program.

Suddenly, I heard a loud sound from the depths of the corridor, as if something massive was hitting the floor, the vibration felt very well. Then these sounds began to become louder, as if it was something beginning to approach, it was like the steps of something enormous.

I was, on the one hand, not on my own, on the other hand, wildly interested in what it was. I walked out into the hallway and walked toward those sounds. It was almost dark in the hallway, only 30 meters in front of the light. At the same time, there were occasional holes in the floor that had to be looked at.

I walked up to those sounds and suddenly I thought I was acting like a dumb blonde from a horror movie. But I told myself it was real life, and I went on to find the source of the terrible sounds.

A minute later, after a few turns of the corridor, I reached some machine compartment, from where these sounds were delivered. And they stopped literally 5 seconds after I got there.

My curiosity was satisfied, I saw no supernatural things there.

I went back to the hallway and went out to the ordinary office.

But since then, I know that there is a dumb blonde inside of me who for some reason climbs into a dark and terrible basement instead of running to the police.

xxx: It doesn't matter how many times you made 100% on investments, if then once it came out -100%

I walked in the woods and gathered mushrooms. Suddenly I hear a wild cry: “Look, he’s out, he’s out!There are five healthy men running to me. It’s hard to say exactly what I thought, but I was very scared, let’s run away. They followed me with cries: “Men!!! Stand up man!” have caught. The fastest jumped from behind, fell to the ground and, breathing hard, said, “Hey, man, what are you. Help us out, we are lost. We will give you a beer.” The second runs and on the way already gets a beer bottle from the bag. Punched them and brought them out. They are good guys.)

A person who is tormented by emptiness is ready to watch any boring and monotonous work with pleasure.

Principal relative

People rage when they buy a coffee machine and say, “I pressed a button and made a coffee.” Guys, good coffee can only be prepared by a certified barista, who has graduated from the journal of the MGU, filfak of the VSE and who has defended the candidate in gender linguistics.

Today, it is the hardest to defend a person who is truly innocent in court.

When I was studying at the university, one of my neighbors in the student dormitory had the misfortune of falling in love with the work of Vertinski for a while. It was a misfortune for us neighbors, because his love was unselfish and generously shared with others through a powerful acoustic system, as a result of which in my brain forever stuck the remarkable line "In a banana-lemon Singapore - in a storm...". So when I first came to Singapore 20 years ago, on a tour of the Botanical Garden, the first thing I tried was to find these wonderful fruits and look into the information center. There, the employee told me that this issue is always addressed by the Russians for some reason and that usually lemons and bananas are in the Singaporean climate without care grow badly, do not survive: too wet and hot, mold and insects destroy the fruit before ripening. They have both in the garden, but precisely because for Singapore it is exotic (disappointment from such news was offset with interest by the pleasure of staying in the famous orchid center). At dinner, I shared my surprise with a colleague – a professor of the local technical university, Russian by origin. He smiled, "You are not the first, you are not the last, many familiar Russians ask this question: why Vertinsky wrote such a line? In my opinion, the options are two. The first is simple: written from a lamp, for the sake of a beautiful rhythm, type, fruitful exotic - it's all from those edges. This is possible, but it is doubtful at least because at that time lemons were exotic only in Siberia, but not in France and not for Versailles. He was a literate man, a professional of the word, wrote ill-fated texts, spoke in Europe to educated people, cosmopolitan, and would hardly be able to compose an open nonsense. The second option is more interesting. Singapore, as a British colony, has long been distinguished by the anglicalization of the local inhabitants, who received the nickname "banana" - yellow on the outside, white on the inside - which is widely used toward westernized people with Asian roots, although it is condemned as a manifestation of domestic racism. "Lemonny" is the nickname of the British Americans, which became fashionable in the world after the First World War. Both this and the other Vertinsky could quite hear in those circles in which he then revolved - and there was a kind of calambur, a tangible and concise description of the population of Singapore, quite understandable to the then audience of the performer."

A date is literally a sex interview where everyone hides previous work experience, and some have not even given up.

XXX: My daughter was long canoeing for us to buy her a dog. I was against it, as she even does her home duties only after you remind her three times. But the wife decided that it was a good idea, the daughter will learn to be responsible. I bought. Her daughter drove with her for two weeks and struck her. The wife does not fit the dog, because "it is a daughter's animal, if she doesn't take care of it, I't." As a result, all the care is on me, although I don’t like animals very much and the dog I don’t need this nail. I looked – the puppy is good, smart, obedient, generous. He asked for his friends and gave him. The daughter and wife began to scream that he had no right, the animal was not bought to me. This is how to explain to these fools that the dog is a living being and since they cannot be held responsible for it, there is no need to torture the animal. Both of them are now on sale, and the winners are now on sale.

I studied at Peter in the 2000s at BGTU. I lived in a shelter in Kupčino and then I did not have my computer and free internet access. And then there were popular internet cafes or computer clubs. People were mostly in Quake and CS, and I was just surfing the net and writing letters to my friends. I sit and hear the guys of the hip-hop speaking with each other and one says to the other: go before that Chinese dig (and I am a Korean, I came from Kazakhstan). And he replies to him, “Yes, you chase, suddenly he knows kung fu!” This is how stereotypes about Asians saved me from possible trouble.)

Bad when the only option of regulation is a revolution.

At work in the office of four working all four single men. A woman came today from the shop, looked around us and said: "To marry you all urgently need, or sit - life rejoice!“”

Shortly about me:
I have sinned, but I am inclined to repent.