Admin(9:48): The day started well today. For 48 minutes no one has called, no one has written.
Main_User: Check the mail server =)

XXX: I am an idiot.
yyy: not surprised))
xxx: I decided to write to you: We have a girl at work with a luxurious breast, walking in a stretching coat and without a cushioner, and since we are cold... the nipples are forever shaking... I can't stand...
yyy: )))))))) what a beautiful)))
X: Guess who I sent this message to?
YYYYYYYYYYYYY
xxx to you!!I sent this text to her!!It is my fuck!!! to
yyy: *ROFL* *ROFL* *ROFL* *ROFL* *ROFL*
Her husband is my boss (((

c) RC

From a work letter with a colleague:
I read an article about the Chinese company that stole the design from the Audi, the Volkswagen and the Infiniti... and there I was obscured that the poor design and low quality of the Russian automotive industry is the fight against piracy!

We were flooded heavily, the water flowed on the walls in the corridor, the whole bathroom was flooded,
I glued my pads onto the building scotch.
They all swallowed, became heavy and fell.
But well!!!! the wallpaper has never collapsed)) in perfect condition)))
and c)

Anything from Chelyabinsk! He does not recognize any means for the point of the cliffs except as an iron pot!

Wash the pot.

When looking for a toilet in the hospital:
I suggest looking for the smell.
No smell, we can get to the food block.

I love people very much!! I would have even eaten them if it hadn’t been condemned by society.

On the hub, the author posts an interview with Bill Gates and from about the third question presents a free translation of the dialogue.
The comments:
Q: Is he really speaking in Russian?
2nd: After the first question he determined the native language of the questioner, and after the second downloaded the language pack.

XXX: I swallowed a mandarine seed. Now you can swallow me in the ground and a mandarine tree will grow.
YYY: It will not grow. I need to clean my stomach first.
Then I can just eat the earth and the tree will grow within me.
YYY: He has not enough light. I will have to shake my stomach.
I could just walk with my mouth open.
YYYYYYYYYYYYY I will laugh with your stomach.

I teach my mother modern terms.
Do you know what a social network is?
Mom: well if "social" means something for the poor?

Announcement of property lease:
"This is a one-bedroom apartment, strictly for 1st girl or woman, preferably female."

What if you kill a person in a dream?
For the money...
What if this guy is a girl?
to the salary...
Dmitry: Which one did bo-bo long ago?
This is to win the lottery...
Dmitry: Even if you kill in sophisticated form?
This is inheritance...
Don’t you find that money is hindered?
Alexandra: Here's Who Would Talk About Me Now!! to

Let’s gather a bunch of programmers in one room.
Why Why?
They will write us something, and we will sell it.
What if they don’t write?
We will dismiss them and collect new ones. Until anything else is written.

Software development in Russian.

I work for a company that specializes in website development, software installation and other computer stuff. To one of the programmers, the wife brings a 5-year-old son to work, saying, sit with him, daddy. In about half an hour, the son of Moses overtook everyone. And then suddenly an airplane passes over our building (they recently in Chelyabinsk often fly over the residential sector). In the office a terrible bull and drenching of glasses. and further dialogue.
Son: Dad, what is it?! to
The Father: The plane.
Is he falling?
Not yet yet. But if you don’t sit quietly, he will crash on you!
The child clinged to the chair and, in addition, as if the gift of speech was lost. So until the end of the day and sitting, then painting, then playing.
The evening. The programmer to his wife: "And what are you complaining about him? He sat quietly all day without disturbing anyone. You can’t deal with kids..."

Intelligence - at night to blend the whole variety in the shelter, and in the morning to get up early and, despite the terrible rumble, before the arrival of the cleaner to wash everything out of respect for the work of others.

The traditional Russian uniform is a struggle with laziness.

The news:
The Ministry of Defense refused to purchase the legendary AK-74
Comment on Rambler:
The Russians! Support the domestic producer. Buy at least one per family.

Trying to take a sitting seat in the subway in the morning, you understand why in childhood you trained to play a game with chairs.

A friend told me yesterday:
They and their husband have a anniversary, they want children and here she got pregnant, decided to give him a pregnancy test for the anniversary of the type as a surprise, well, original!
She wrapped everything in a box and hid it under the pillow. The husband came and she said to him - look for his present) At that sports gambling, he is looking for. It is warm, cold, hot...
The husband finds, unfolds, and here is a silent scene and the voice of the husband: you gave me a dried strip???? to
And she sits like that with a bouquet of flowers and says - I didn't think of it at all.)

Max: I think we’ll go for a walk in the storm.
Smallville: boldly
Max: Only to us this metalist has stuck, I don’t know how to get rid of him.
Smallville – Naked? The thunderstorm will not hurt!