bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №103554
 02.10.2014
I bought the iPhone 6 yesterday. Not charged yet. I do not let him out of my hands. Very standard battery holds.

lazex: So you turn it on, good to look at.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №103553
 02.10.2014
by Dybala:
And the truth is that the majority of alimony women spend not on children, but on themselves. Their husbands do not pay them so as not to pay for the life of the woman with whom they have separated.
-----------
You started the day look at the average amount of alimony (and it is 1600 rubles).
The former is probably swimming in pearls, travelling to the Maldives every week for this hefty amount. And for the rest, you can also feed the child / dress / clothes / toys to buy.
Suck babies, such grandmothers get, and still get upset.
ZY: There are exceptions to any rule, but it’s real that men pay a penny, and at the same time they do not.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №103552
 02.10.2014
In one of the educational institutions of Simferopol there was a questionnaire in order to establish whether students already have passports, whether they have medical insurance, and whether they need help in their registration.
When issuing these questionnaires, the Crimean Tatars decided to penetrate. And to the question of what citizenship they have friendly answered - Ukraine.
Not a problem.
In Russia, democracy and you can be from Zimbabwe.
But there is a nuance: for citizens of Russia and Zimbabwe there are several different rules of training.
Therefore, the curator of the group said that he submitted these documents to the dean, and the question of free education for Ukrainian women will become very controversial, as well as the possibility of receiving a scholarship.
Hearing this, the girls suddenly changed their mind and said that they suddenly wanted to write that they are citizens of Russia.
And as they just recalled, they even have Russian passports. And since April.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №103551
 02.10.2014
You go - the birds sing, the sun shines, the mood is good and there is a bat! The Pillar!
Here is the shit! Caused by the corner

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №103550
 02.10.2014
One of my acquaintances loves in a dispute (when it is no longer a dispute, but a shit), to put in a phrase of the type: "And in general, I am d'Artagnan! I have a sword"
And he really has it and he is skillfully able to use it.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №103549
 02.10.2014
(Commentary to Torrent from Taxi 2 on Blu-Ray)
XX: Why in this way? It turns out that Emma was a coward. That is the case of 700 MB - everything is not so obvious, and therefore there is room for the flight of fantasy...

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №103548
 02.10.2014
You know what? People are discussing serious issues. Dialogue is going!
You are here with your hats and hats!
Go, you understand, rub on another resource. With some anecdotes.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №103547
 02.10.2014
The phone is a friend. I take a phone.
I: Darov, Vasyan, did he want to?
D: So Vasya’s his name, thank you, or I woke up in the morning, and I don’t remember. Only you don’t tell him, or I liked him, maybe we can do it.
How it turned out uncomfortable: Call a friend Dimko, and Vasyan so, the appeal to which we are accustomed and use not the first year. The fact that he is now under...heresy is everything, but I’m more interested in how it will turn out!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №103546
 02.10.2014
I complain to my best friend, long and happily married, about my problems with finding a companion of life. Reply to:
Okay to you. You will succeed. You’re beautiful, smart, educated, all-rounded... second-minute... Yes, I’ve understood why you have a problem with men.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №103545
 02.10.2014
I don’t understand why adult men wear hats in the winter that only cover the mouth and have no ears. Even at -30 saw cadres in such hats.
YYY: I wear this with a coat, it looks very good.
What does the treating doctor say? Meningitis or Otitis?
YYY: I don’t know, I hardly hear it.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №103544
 02.10.2014
India has successfully delivered a satellite to Mars for the first time:
The country, whose inhabitants invented Kamasutra, could not fail to get to Mars from the first attempt!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №103543
 02.10.2014
Yes, I also notice that I can't play with the child in the cube, because he's disturbing me)))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №103542
 02.10.2014
Oh, we had to move to the Arctic, to the penguins, away from these MŞ-clowns.
= is
Emm... Isn’t it your SMS: “Dad, urgently take the penguins to the Arctic, I burn on the geography exam?”

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103541
 02.10.2014
<xxx> have you been discharged from the hospital? and :)
<yyy> yes
<yyy> veterinarians said "release the cage crazy, here other animals are waiting"
Mouse has joined #chelyabinsk

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №103540
 02.10.2014
Omar González was arrested in the White House with a knife. He managed to run through several rooms before being turned over by Secret Service agents. In the suspect’s car, two tails, a machete and 800 ammunition were found.

xxx: and only one question - the 800 ammunition to the shafts?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №103539
 02.10.2014
From Instagramm, stones to photo of girl with a guy

Does the guy have his lips painted?
No, the effect is
zzz: ah, the Pidaras effect

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №103538
 02.10.2014
While all the girls were waiting for princes, I took the appropriate option and raised a king for myself.


[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №103537
 02.10.2014
Somehow it happened that the typical format of setting a task at work sounds like: "Here you have a brick, beets and a wing of flying mouse - do something. We need a result!"

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №103536
 02.10.2014
NT as well. What a wonderful FS was HPFS...
And 2000 – the strictness of the Win95 layout and the stability of NT... sat on it as long as the video card drivers allowed it.

But in general, if the whole, the situation looks like this:

Windows 1.0 is a fub, you need a mouse for it! NC is rolling!
Windows 2.0 – have you ever heard of it?
Windows 3.1 - Well sometimes you can run... there is a civic with windows...

Windows NT – Need to try without DOS...
Windows 95 is not.
Windows 98 is not. Here is your whistle!
Windows 2000 – Stability above all.
Windows Me - And maybe even whisper-e-ye... reboot-scandisk.
Windows XP - Okay, stability and whistle!
Windows Vista – more whistles for the whistle god! Who brakes, do I brake? It’s not me, it’s you poor man!
Windows 7 - Okay, just stop raping the XP corpse. And yes, here you have transparent whistles like in Vista!
Windows 8 is tired of whistles. Well, then the fingerprinting interface and graphics in the Pascal style! The Start Menu? Balmer said not.
Windows 9 hasn’t done well, so...
Windows 10 is out!! to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №103535
 02.10.2014
Just yesterday I read the post about how the guys are dumb without understanding the clues of the girls, and today...

We go after school with the girls from the group to the community (I am not from the community, just accompanied):
The girl I’ve been drowning for a long time (D)
Her daughter (P)
The dialogue:
Are you not in a hurry home?
No, then I ask, what are you going to do now? (In order to go for a walk)
p go home
I was going to see a movie...
Oh yeah yeah, I’m gone!
p- so far
Do you go?...(with a sad look)
Yes so far.
And only after an hour I touched that she offered me to go to her, and "watch" the movie together....SUKA.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna