From the news:
So it turned out that in a short period of time several expensive cars were stolen at once: the Mercedes S-Class, as well as several Lexus models. The attack was even registered on the Porsche Cayenne Turbo. The last one was never stolen. It is noteworthy that all foreign owners were unemployed.
The working portion of the population that rides on less expensive cars...
O dog, what country is it?? to
I broke the monitor in the office.
After a long follow-up
The buyer knelt on the flies.
Turn the pillow.
Review of Red Alert 3:
Therefore, the Russians brave here with infantry in hatchbacks (like no other classical), Tesla tanks and Tesla soldiers, jumping anti-infantery installations of the class "Serp" and firm aircraft "Kirovets". But the worst troops of the Soviet countries are (attention!) armored bears-parachutists, who land in the back of the enemy and naturally strike the infantry.
It’s normal humor for the developers.
When Timati was touring in Almaty, and in the evening went to eat at Altin Bidaï... The waitresses decided to hang out and put a couple of his songs... from several tables immediately came the screams to cut out this girlfriend...
AntonioK: two odmin under the window pull optical fiber!
Antonio K: If I were a gender, says one of the men, I would have made new cedds for the bear daddy.
WakeUpHate: Compiled Third Cades
Xyrr: If I were an odmin, says one sister, I’t give our gender a wendy
AntonioK: I'd rather have her gentu
WakeUpHate: and King Ivan lives there, he sent you a Trojan!
WakeUpHate: DDoS ping server crashes
The Hostel Counter!
Antonio K: then he will beat Bilan, then he will cry like a child
WakeUpHate: the song coder sings and the masses bite everything
Masses are not simple, all cells are linked lists.
WakeUpHate: Everyone is equal as a selection, with them uncle Sisadmin!
WakeUpHate: 33 programmers
AntonioK: the freeze was raised, the chicken.
Fichi in it and there and here; the nucleus is pure emerald!
While everyone was trying to capture the world, the ranets sang pops.
As long as everyone tries to silence them, I will conquer the world :)
For two days I hadn’t slept, picked up and configured OpenBox on Debian. I sit at work, I fall asleep... I went to the buffet for another cup of coffee, I go along the corridor there is a couch standing, soft... there is a red pillow on it... And on the pillow the inscription with large white letters "MENT" 0o
Tatana: I go through the city, I look at the palace, cleaned up, well, the usual, Caucasian outdoors, and on the back the inscription:"HERE WE LIVE"....how it wasn’t special immediately became
Better a soft heart and a stone penis than the opposite)))
Remembered history on the topic of Russian language (translation), who may not
I heard...
At the time when American films were just beginning to appear.
in our great country, when translators translated films with
With a speck on the nose, I saw a wonderful scene.
Unfortunately, I do not remember the title of the film, and the story is not very much, but here is one.
The moment is remembered for a long time.
So, according to the story of the film a little girl enters a cave (or
subterranean - it does not matter), approaches to a large stone, on which overflowing
In all the flowers of the rainbow lies a magical crystal. A girl with admiration
The light from it illuminates her face and the walls of the cave.
He looked at him and said, “WOW..........!”
Russian translation: “Your mother...”
Phone calls
Is this Mr. Rod? This is Ernesto, the home manager of your countryside.
The Residences.
“Yes, Ernesto, it’s me.
“I just wanted to tell you that your poppy... he’s dead.
How did he die? My own poppy? Prize of international competitions?
Yes sir.
I threatened him a lot of money. What did he die of?
He sat the bricks, sir Rod.
The Tuchel? Who fed him with the cabbage?
No one, sir He himself swallowed silent meat with a dead horse.
What horse?
Your Arab rider, Sir Rod.
Is my brother also dead?
Yes sir. He dragged the car with water and couldn’t stand it.
Have you gone crazy? What kind of water car?
The fire we extinguished, sir.
God the fire?
Yes, sir, in your house. The curtain burned by a candle.
What a fuck!! You mean that my mansion burned from one
The candles?
Yes sir.
Why did you light a candle, Ernesto?
For a funeral, sir.
What is the funeral???! to
Your wife, my friend. She came late at night, I thought it was thieves and
This is the new Taylor Made Super Quad 460.
A long silence...
“Ernesto, if you broke that claw, you’re full of shit!!! to
Terminator
I had a romantic evening yesterday. I went with the girl in the nature, sat gently communicated, then she drank half a bottle of wine, said she would not give me, then she drove herself into the car, almost scattered, but then she said that we all need one, and that we are all goats, then she cried and while I quietly cried out of what happened, she fell asleep.
Terminator
I love the female directness.
I arranged to work in a small travel agency (offices of meters 20 probably). I was sitting there three at each other always (director-year-old 60 grandmother, manager-deck thick and scary and I am the most ordinary cracker. In the autumn, this defca-manager (M) grit grandmother (B)
M: Lyudmila Vladimirovna, I can no longer talk on the phone with my throat, I probably laid down.
B: Do you need a pill... can you get anything?
M: I don’t have anything like that...and you?
B: I don’t have either.
Both in one voice:
Cyril, do you have nothing to do?
I got fired in two weeks.
If a person uses the.OGG and.OGM formats, he is a fan of the nixes. MP3 and AVI - ordinary user. VOB is probably a pirate. And over the fans of.WMA and.WMV, we have been taught from childhood not to laugh.
Directed by: Goethe
It excites me:
Cargo customs declarations
O_O
Len4ik
And I noticed that the men just want me...and I need more...maybe it’s my fault.
by Patriarx555
I don’t even know, and even the matter is not that you go without trousers, and even not that you don’t wear underwear at all, no, no, we’re just weird.
A new guy came to work. He doesn’t talk to anyone, everyone is watching the monitor. He put a threatening orc on the table with the inscription on his chest: "Work, Negro!"
I am scared.
Alex: Good to sit at home, sweet, let’s go to the cinema;)
The red movie? Which? where?
A new cinema has opened. NoD There is now the Festival of German Film and Cartoon
3D... German cinema... Famous high-conceptual?
Alex: Oh yeah 😉
Ryzhik: Well, German can also be downloaded online... but in 3D to watch will be interesting.
Alex: The Woman
She: you will have to starve a couple of months and buy a notebook
He says, “You eat your own food.”
Hi-tek: Make a sentence from words whose first letter is "S". Urgently, the housewife ordered this.
Kvak: the shirt, hat and shirt are loud.
Dim-on: The stalls moved, the students expanded.
dim-on: The Scots were shaken, shocked by the sharp prostitutes. Shallows spread in shallows.
Volh87: A shabby schoolchild shoot shorts to a 60-year-old schizophrenia driver. Step by step, she blackmailed the driver with chopsticks, chocolate, and champagne. The driver struck the shovel, the schoolgirl stumbled. "Shallow, shallow the shirt of the shirt!It was a noise of blackmail. The driver sprinkled the schoolgirl, sprinkled with a shaft, a syringe, stamped cloves. The sixth grade girl shrugged her hair with shampoo. "The prostitute, the chimpanzee, the chinchilla!" "Sham shaky!" - a shocked schoolgirl whispered.
JeloMe: o_O on a large scale! The masterpiece!
Hi-tek: Idiots, a sister in the second class is studying...