bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №118373
 12.09.2015
affairs are established. The trouble comes from where you wait.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №118372
 12.09.2015
A friend told me that his wife is working in the police. The parents came to take the child from the garden, but he was not. Panic in the parents, panic in the teachers, police in the ears. The situation was resolved as in an anecdote: when all the children of the group were disassembled, there was one extra. Called the boy's parents, they said that the child was taken by the grandfather, he was okay. It turned out that this grandfather went into the group, shouted "Egor", and Egor at this time quietly played with a friend and did not hear, but to his grandfather ran Zahar, who, in fact, and lost. Grandfather dressed the child in his grandson's clothes, brought home, still quarreled at home with his grandmother, because. She cried out that the enemy would not be their grandson. The most interesting thing is that Sugar all this time behaved completely naturally, giving up nothing.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №118371
 12.09.2015
What hat do you have on your head?
This is a box, my son. It protects us in the desert from the unbearable heat.
What are your clothes above?
This is Jella. It protects us in the desert from the burning sweat.
“Daddy, what’s that terrible shoe on your feet?
This is my grandmother, my son. They protect us in the desert from hot sand.
“Daddy, do you wear it all in autumn in Frankfurt am Main?

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118370
 12.09.2015
I buy fresh eggs in a small store, the seller got a whole cassette and says:
Do you put eggs in a pack or cut them?
...O_O
Cut the cassette. and :)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №118369
 12.09.2015
I fell asleep at night... And it’s okay if I went to the toilet, and then read Dostoevsky...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №118368
 12.09.2015
Elon Musk believes that thermonuclear bombs are needed to terraform Mars:

Firya: Immediately the question arose: what did the Marsians do to him?
Sychuan: Destroyed to Earth

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №118367
 12.09.2015
xxx: How to connect a tablet on the wire in the form of a flash to the comp?
YYY: No of course. You first try to connect one computer to another "as a flash drive"
xxx: I think I’ve seen linux porn that started about the same way...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №118366
 12.09.2015
From the chat WOT (fuse battle because of the bush pt):
Three pigs are standing in the woods!
Don’t let God see that.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №118365
 12.09.2015
There are two popular dishes: cheesecakes and drinks. I accidentally confused the first letters in these words. It was fun :)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №118364
 12.09.2015
When my printer has a problem with the cartridge, it writes (citation) "The cartridge is faulty, replace it, or..." and then the screen doesn’t come in. And although I know the end of the phrase, I try not to anger him every time. It will be "or..."

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №118363
 12.09.2015
> I have only one question: and why in the TC cell phone nozzle?

Vanguay, so that the ugly greedy junky do not jump immediately on the well-known website of the Internet shops and Hruindex.Market. They did not compare their unparalleled goods with complete analogues and did not immediately order with delivery, killing the name of the model directly from the price list of their particular invaluable store.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №118362
 12.09.2015
XX: I had no such problems at school. I immediately struck the offender on the wall. Only three people could hurt me.
XY: Physruck, Zavoch and Director?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №118361
 11.09.2015
xxx: If you believe Wikipedia, the male giraffes have much more homosexual contacts than the natural ones.
Yyy: They just don’t see the gender traits from such a top.

[ + 29 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118360
 11.09.2015
This is:

“Equal rights for all” is one of the most hypocritical phrases. The people who pronounce it will never fight to provide homeless people with housing and work, they will not fight to ensure that EVERYONE has a job with such a salary that they can rest in Spain once a year.

Equal rights means that they have the right to find a job or earn an apartment on their own, not that others will do it.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118359
 11.09.2015
Direct for a couple or three months is very easy to get rid of. Take and follow the search queries:
Zoroastrianism in Somalia
Farm to buy Spitzbergen
My friend narcissist what to do
Capibara - care and breeding
Resort of Fomalhaut
Electromagnetic compatibility of cupcakes
Theory of narrow bones

Direct ceases to understand whom he contacted and gives the usual standard advertising.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №118358
 11.09.2015
Not to be hidden from the sun,
The earth is melting from the heat.
In Siberia it is windy, plus thirty,
11th of September ?

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №118357
 11.09.2015
Did you say "Sexual Cobb"?
- I said "coaxial cable"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №118356
 11.09.2015
here here :
The famous horror film director, during a visit to Russia, walking late in the evening, accidentally found himself in Butovo, realized that he had all his life filmed innocent and good children's fairy tales.

Stop chasing the buttocks!! This is a quiet bedroom area. And if you light up the road with an iPhone, you can be robbed in any area.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №118355
 11.09.2015
> men do not understand how to show sexuality. Well muscularity in summer clothes is still visible, and in winter how?

Do you really think that sexuality is just body parameters? And intimacy for you is probably always associated with sex? I highly advise you to read an explanatory dictionary, at least to find out the meanings of the words you use. And it is also worth thinking about how many in the world of sexy fat, or very thin people, literally running for the representatives of the opposite sex.

One man complains to another that he doesn’t know what to do with women.
Most importantly, how to start? Another advises him:
When you go to bed, put her hand on her stomach and say, “I love you!” and then she will tell you what to do.
He did so. He put his hand on his stomach and said, “I love you.”
Below, asks the woman.
“I love you,” he repeats with a bass.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №118354
 11.09.2015
Culture news

The Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards has allowed his daughters to smell his dust after death if they want to. Richards admitted that he once mixed his father’s dust with cocaine and inhaled the mixture. “He was cremated, and I couldn’t resist smelling him a little. It went well and I’m still alive.”

The musician stopped using cocaine in 2006 after falling from a tree on the island of Fiji in a state of narcotic intoxication and underwent neurosurgery due to a brain shock. He has not taken heroin since 1978.

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