bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №70993
 04.10.2012
Vitalik was born in Romania in the county of Pizduldorf. He lived there for about seven years, then moved to America.

I would run away from there too.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №70992
 04.10.2012
xxx: in the store delighted the advertisement on the box "There is no small thing in the box. Let’s take a look at it"
xxx: right so "by jerk" :)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №70991
 04.10.2012
D.iK.iJ: Sooner would have been warm, maybe even the cat will be behind me
Alex: The battery will stick
D. iK. iJ: Yes It will squeeze in her legs, head and crawl from pleasure. I feel like all the cats clearly come from somewhere where it’s very hot. and dark. And it smells gray, judging by his toilet :)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №70990
 04.10.2012
Grandfather Scuco produced - sparring at us from the workshop of barrels from the groundwork AK. And it is convenient for us by the fact that we can put tools on it, get on it, to get something, in short, in our case to hang out as a necessary object. There is no backyard. After searching the whole workshop, he asked his grandfather, and his answer was simply stunning:
He stood useless!
to ahui. I then read a lecture to my grandfather that this approach to life is filled with complications ranging from simple busts to sitting in prison places - well, he will go to someone in the house, open the safe, scratch the crap and valuables, and say - well, they are useless lying here. The lecture did not come. Then I said - I will take your jiggle from your garage to pursue you, and I will also say, and it is useless here without movement.Here to the grandfather and it came to him that his opinion about the usefulness / uselessness of finding an object in a given point of space is not always the same, but often goes against the opinions of the owner of this item.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №70989
 04.10.2012
I thought it was a good idea to call the cat Little. The husband of a colleague was as if visiting, Semian may have been a month. Can you say, look at the small? He had big eyes when I went under the bed looking, in his opinion, for a baby.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №70988
 04.10.2012
I sit in the kitchen, my wife is around. I see a small burned spot on the maika, seeing the ashes of a cigarette burn. I decided to smite my wife and pointing to the spot I said tragically: I lived... You are already spitting into me with poison... Wife: Yes, no, it has accumulated in you!

[ + 56 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70987
 04.10.2012
Shultsher :
This is how I really envy you! I don’t understand wine. For me, it is either sweet or acidic and burning for some reason. And here are brands, varieties, years, crops, producers, subtleties, bouquets. It is not clear how all this can be understood. I am probably condemned. *This comment does not mean insulting the feelings of believers, third world countries, feminists, animals... I envy, it is true!

Ivan_Petrov, you are not hopeless, you just need to learn the terminology. Instead of sweet speech, "residual sugars are manifested", instead of acid "full wine, with the potential for further ripening", instead of heartburn - "long after-taste, pronounced thinning with the inclination to excess".

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №70986
 04.10.2012
A large office building, 3 floors occupies our company. When it becomes boring at work, we have the following entertainment with colleagues from other offices: we turn on conference communication, we collect as many people as possible and orem as in the movie "Very Terrible Movie". xDDD
In the middle of the day, boring, nothing happens. The bell rings - I raise the phone and I hear the familiar "Vaaaaaaaaaaa!!" - Well I have no back-thinking in response even louder - WVWAAAZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAA!!! to
At the other end of the wire - "Bla, how did you go, I brought water, water in bottles, did you order?and "

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №70985
 04.10.2012
What is the 21st century in Russia? This is when in the middle of the garden stands an old cutting-edge wooden sorter, but with Wi-Fi

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №70984
 04.10.2012
What would happen if we banned the sale of any alcohol on New Year's Day and May holidays?
The people trembled and asked, “Where is the king?”

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №70983
 03.10.2012
Two worlds, two childhood: they have Harry Potter, Ron and Hermione, we have Hruendel, Lohmaty and Masyanya

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №70982
 03.10.2012
Specialist in explosions?
YYY: The Minor
XXX: But not to be terrified later, but right away?
YYY: The sapphire?! to

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №70981
 03.10.2012
Oh Oh!!! I saw a man-f-skin at the clinic today!!! Fairy spectacle - to the death of the metallurgist, as is the case with the haer surrounded by grandmothers reading Dostoevsky!!! by Shik!

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №70980
 03.10.2012
The most valuable advice a friend gave me before the wedding
When will you be asked "Do you agree?" simply answer "Yes". No philosophical reasoning.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №70979
 03.10.2012
X: Did you hear the Indian Fair has opened? Let us go? They say it is fun.
YYY: No thank you. I have all of this and the house is full.
Xxx :?? to
yyy: My mom suddenly decided that India is offgenically cool. Now we have all the food with spices, tea with spices...
yyy: crazy, even toothpaste with spices! I am afraid of touching their toilet paper.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №70978
 03.10.2012
EU: Where was your lazy ass today?
I: My lazy ass was sleeping.
EU: Again erotic fantasies about Natalie Portman in a purple night shirt?
I: No, this time I was a maniac killer. First I...
EU: Don’t tell me this!
I : really. It will not happen!

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №70977
 03.10.2012
Blade: On a similar occasion, a familiar Uzbek professor in Samarkand told me in the early 1990s: “First, the golden heads of the Jews left us, then the golden hands of the Russians and the rest – the golden teeth of the Uzbek...

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №70976
 03.10.2012
Blindly looking at the prescription, written by the doctor, with a deep grief in his voice gives out the phrase of the day: "Mlyaya...And what is this for a handwriting?! It’s not a handwriting, it’s a dumb cardigram of a dying man!..."

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №70975
 03.10.2012
I was interviewed "for interview". I gave him an admin test. He successfully passed it and asked "and you give all the couriers such tests"?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №70974
 03.10.2012
Statement of the City Council)
On Saturday, October 6, the bridge will be opened from 12.00 to 15.00 for the completion of repairs. The passage of pedestrians will be free.

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