Jylia: I cynically driven a dog out of his home at the age of three. The poor had to sit on the streets and seek justice from the adults. The adults, of course, did not even have the dog, they were looking for me.
I went into the dog cabin and fell asleep there.

by Vigdis:
Today, in an eco-store, I saw a woman buying snowflake honey. I asked, were his bees gathered or his elves? The woman and the seller looked at me as if I had spit them in the third chakra. No, I understand, people come to complete fucking in their desire to live forever, but the snowflake honey...

From Wiki:
According to an ancient legend, in ancient times the Turks captured this town and wanted to taste a local delight - borst. One Ukrainian agreed to prepare lunch for the invaders, but the dish with something (possibly using non-chalical pork) did not come to the taste of the captain, who began to crush the woman. He screamed until the Ukrainian got angry and struck him on the head with a pumpkin, and then drowned the offender in the borst. Therefore, the town was named in honor of the dish that caused the death of the unnourished enemy.

Probably since then, the men and loved the borst.

A: Can you give me my photos in the form of documents, not in the form of photos?

I: Emm, in what format do you need it?

and.jpg

1: a good LED lamp, you can't break your leg and hit a couple of nails, for example.
2: Yes, this is the disadvantage of any microscope.

The boy wrote that just mature aunts are clinging to him. Adulthood begins at 50 years old.
>>>>>>>>>>>>
It is all about the point of reference. For a 25-year-old boy maybe yes, 30-35 are mature aunts. And for a 45-year-old man, these ladies are almost minor.

With the communists we did not believe in communism, and with the capitalists we do not believe in capitalism. @Konaarm

This story happened to me and my wife.
We bought an aquarium, large, beautiful, launched a fish. And here among these fish were scalarians. Three pieces. As later turned out, 2 boys and 1 girl. We noticed that 2 boys periodically fight with each other, a girl so standing in the middle, and 2 males urinate in her eyes. One boy is big, the other is smaller, the size matters, a small puddle resulted in burning in the corner of the aquarium, and the winner cared for a happy female.
So my wife took the courage every time during their battles to tick me about the laws of nature and male competition in relationships.
I was sorry for the burn-out, I went to the same store and bought 2 females, no different. Relationships in the prajada changed sharply, the female became sharply dissatisfied with the filling, even fights among the females increased during my childhood. The wife was silent. But when the females were already running after him, and he no longer knew where and with whom, I said to his wife:
“Dear, it was your women’s dreams, and this is statistical reality.
The moral of this fairy tale is this - sometimes to be respected as a martyr is enough and 300 rubles.

The best way to tell kids about taxes is to eat 13% of their ice cream.

Hubr, from comments to the news about the change in the JetBrains product licensing rules:

xxx: with all respect (you do good products) - go to the ass.
Okay, thank you, we’re going to go in the ass.
YYY: And there we will make good products.

Twitter @bobuk
The AppleTV controller will be adapted for operation in Russia and will be equipped with a set of multi-colored polyethylene bags. Price of packages $139

A husband and a brother discuss a friend who has been diagnosed with schizophrenia.
A year ago, I was told that I slept with the Queen of England.
Maybe he has such fantasies.
I don’t have such fantasies!
You just have a bad taste.)

The multiplayer hater. I, like with straight hands and the ability to cook, can't cook cakes at all. Well, how can I not: I can observe the recipe up to a milligram and half a breath, I can add a little bit - with soups, cakes, variants of the second dishes, everything is done on the grass, and cakes... The result is only to poison cockroaches and torture enemies. They are not given to me, even if they are shaken. But in multivarka is a quite edible and even delicious product. So... You want to commit suicide through poisoning meat - come to visit, I will cook it for you on the plate. ))

Recently, the crane was replaced in the office range, now it has separate cranes for hot and cold water. Both handles of the cranes are perfectly white, but white painted with black letters "RED" and "BLUE". Everything would be nothing, but "RED" is cold water, and "BLUE" correspondingly hot.
This is how we in Russia seem to turn banal things into a 50/50 lottery.

If a delicious salad appeared in your dining room at the enterprise or institute for lunch, then yesterday there was clearly a banquet/minute in that dining room.

The new blockbuster is "Man-Clock".

Advertising Slogan - "Mall, and smell".

Anthropologists have discovered a new species of man with a small brain.
Not even a news.

“You know, I turned my weight into tons here, and it turned out that I weighed one-tenth of a ton. Not so scary anymore.
In megatons, you are one million.

Here’s what I was looking for yesterday drunk on the internet once today all the contextual advertising offers me a rental of selfie and donzova books? What is there that lives inside me and breaks out under alcohol? Who am I?

Olya: in TwinPix, the owner of the cafe is played by the Countess of Alexander of love and death of Allen
Gray: How you can recognize the actors, it is probably a gift.
You won’t believe it, but they have the same face.