bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №87745
 02.10.2013
In the United States, the Ku Klux Klan was allowed to hold a protest against Obama. Democracy however.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №87744
 02.10.2013
The reality is cooler than any joke: in the network of stores "Pelikan" (I don't know about others, I saw it personally there) children's juices are sold - small 100g packaging with tubes. On the boxes are depicted: Orange Begemot, Sirene Lion and Bright Red Wrap! On top of these mouths the name "collections" - MY FAMILY!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №87743
 02.10.2013
"Live fast, die young" - a noble trolling from those who want to get rid of all these idiots and finally live peacefully.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №87742
 02.10.2013
From the requirements for vacancies "Copywriter"

It takes a socially mature specialist with a heart that has developed not in the house of laughter.

I am afraid they won’t take me. My seemed to be developing in the skyscraper of rust :)))))))

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №87741
 02.10.2013
Kirill: in Ukraine they burn the Nipadets:
"In Zaporozhye the train moved a couple who had sex on the roads"
Did they multiply by division?
Cyril: Ah, three for each individual.
1st: They were separatists. Separatists are for separation.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №87740
 02.10.2013
When I finish my vacuum cleaner, my wife always asks me - a lot of garbage?
If I say a lot, I have not dusted for a long time.
And if it’s a little, then it’s been cleaned up recently (((

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №87739
 02.10.2013
Yesterday, my beloved fell in a strange position.
xxx: Behind the monitor with an open compound on my knees, with one hand I push the air inside it with a large mattress pump, the other click something with my mouse and get mad.
xxx: She said that she now understands why they say “reanimate the computer.”
xxx: And I just had a cooler on the view, stood up in the middle of the final rendering of the project...

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87738
 01.10.2013
The flight is over. I found my husband’s open beer at the table, turned it over and while I ran out with a cloth, everything was dry.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87737
 01.10.2013
This is:
Tamias: When I speed up to 120 km / h in the car, in the cabin from the passenger side begins to smell shit. What could it be? There is no one in the room besides me. The option "you have Phoenix got rid of" do not offer.

Change the oil in the box. If recently there was a repair, then someone joked, throwing the shit into the box. An old driver trick.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №87736
 01.10.2013
HH: Well, I’m working for myself. I am my own boss and subordinate. The subordinate wants to rest, and the boss wants to walk. In short, schizophrenia in all its glory!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №87735
 01.10.2013
Dialogue at work. Me and my colleague (K):
I am listening to the roots.
Q: Who is Who?
and the roots.
Q: What is what?
The roots!
(K): Oh oh oh oh!! to
“Korn, bl*t thou art!
A: Aha aha! I thought I was completely canceled.

© by

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №87734
 01.10.2013
This is:
What is the name of the manager? has her
The mail was like her name, she needed it.
to write.
The rabbit Olya.
Is she married like she is now?
Now like Mironova, but you’re serious.
You think girls are also changing emails.
When are they married?

You won’t believe me ?

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №87733
 01.10.2013
Yesterday I opened the receipt from the water channel, and I realized that all September the rain was watering out of my crane.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №87732
 01.10.2013
This is the time when the quote about the dog easily outweighs the rating of any humour. = is

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №87731
 01.10.2013
xxx: I can’t imagine that a computer can replace a person driving, a few examples:
1st Suddenly a dog jumped out on the road, we don't have time to slow down, hit the dog or suddenly drive off the road, but with injuries to people in the car? What if it was not a dog but a child? An experienced driver will shoot the dog, but will not shoot the child. How the computer will make the right decision in this situation I cannot imagine.

Urban dogs have already learned to cross roads on pedestrian crossings and use lighting lanterns.
Maybe then, finally, people will also learn to cross the road where they can, not where they want?

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №87730
 01.10.2013
Girls, remind me the recipe for shrimp, starts with the words:
Take the sperm of a loved one.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №87729
 01.10.2013
I work as an engineer - a programmer at college... How it turned out that there is no difference between a programmer and a system administrator here... I endured a lot in the first month of work, but when I was called to the director on the carpet and asked when they would finally give heating... I couldn’t stand...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №87728
 01.10.2013
I grew up in a family of programmers.
Who is a programmer in your family?
XXX: I

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №87727
 01.10.2013
While the Lemmings sent SMSs during the Orthodox marathon, they canceled the accumulative part of the pension and froze the salaries of budgeters. At this rate, Malakhov will personally form a monthly pension fund. No need for government, only zombies and ORT 24 hours a day!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №87726
 01.10.2013
to this:
The boss from vacation calls: I am here on the boat - they have a wifi here. Can you tell me my password to log in? Oh, admin, you must know.

A year ago, we were told that the gentleman could not call from Tel Aviv to Italy to his chairman (tourist chairman) and, of course, whoever, like us, had to urgently fix everything...

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna