bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №20078
 07.09.2009
I would love to go to school now!
I would love to walk!

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №20077
 07.09.2009
Igarok: "The Russian team defeated the team of Liechtenstein"
At the turn of the Vatican

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №20076
 07.09.2009
X: Can you help with the compound? My mother died there.
YYY: Sorry, I can’t do it. My daughter was born here.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №20075
 07.09.2009
X: Will we go to Shatunov?
Y: I’d rather go on x*y :)

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №20074
 07.09.2009
alina: I stand, all so beautiful...and next to this hero’s bridegroom!! to

[ + 100 - ] Comment quote №20073
 07.09.2009
Surprise the girl!
Welcome to all!

What suggestions to surprise the girl?
I just want to bring another joy to the girl, please do not write the banal, the girl is creative!
Maybe an original gift, act or something like that?

Looking forward to your comments!

Yyy: Ask a friend to take the bag from her, and pick up the type and take it off. Just so that the fight gradually turned into a dance, and a few passers also joined it, and you all sang a love song together. A kind of musical. I would be surprised in her place.

[ + 96 - ] Comment quote №20072
 07.09.2009
From the reply of Mail.ru:

I have 8 GB of RAM and my friend has 128 MB, why do I have so little?

I bought a new computer. paid a lot. promised to be wrecked. A programmer came. I found out that I only had 8 GB of RAM. And I’m going to boast now that he has 128 MB, and I only have 8 GB. Could I be fooled?"

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №20071
 07.09.2009
I remembered the universe. In the first class, we had a subject like CSE. It was such a fun man. Well, in general, to get a bill, you just had to give up a cursor. As usual, I jumped the day before the building and printed it. The topic was: "space telescopes (in the optical range) and the discoveries made with their help".After reading it by a pedestrian, he stood up, and,so s with a serious face stretches my hand, and says: "I am very happy, I am very pleased to meet you", sits down and sets off. I am confused that what happened is taking my cursor and there on one of the pages is emphasized: In 1973, I with my group of specialists under the leadership of Ch. ODella began the preliminary development of the main versions of the design of the "Great Space Telescope"...

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №20070
 07.09.2009
Listen, according to Vanga's prophecy, a third of the world should begin with the assassination of 3 heads of state in 2009, there are three months left, and so far all the norms :)
YYY: So, in Bush the tapk got thrown, in Saakashvili too... there was only one 0_o
XXX is...

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №20069
 07.09.2009
In response to:
These Americans are stupid. We made a movie where bad guys seized the metro train!!! Where are they going to go with him?
_______ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___
Fuck, this is about the Americans. My friend stole a tram in Donetsk three times.

[ + 79 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №20068
 07.09.2009
A delegation of Ukrainian IT men travels to Finland by bus. The road is not close, to go long. One person in all this time has never gone to shit, a bus without a sorting, where-in any case the shit breaks, well he kept this matter to himself until Finland itself. We finally arrived, the settlement. The man as soon as he can crashes, sits on the toilet and rolls a particular bunch of shit that has accumulated for all this time. Press the wash button - screw, press again - does not work. Well, hole, like a normal hotel, and the laundry does not work. In the middle of the bathroom there is a huge bunch of stinking shit. The guy falls into the hallway, sees a aunt from the service staff, and tensing his brains includes a modest vocabulary of school English:
– Miss... Com... – calls the appropriate gesture... – Com...
He takes his aunt to the bathroom and says:
and LUCK!! - points to a huge bunch of shit and presses the slide button... slide works!!! to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №20067
 07.09.2009
We cannot expect mercy from nature; it itself expects mercy from us.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №20066
 07.09.2009
One of my sons is daughter:
The cat has a lot of wealth, and you, Katya, have a few shortcomings.
You are not white, you are not furry, and your ears do not turn.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №20065
 07.09.2009
The Dargaiah Ridaccy!
(From letters to the newspaper in the section "Sexologist Advice")

Interrupted sexual intercourse is always bad, especially when it is interrupted by the arrival of a husband.

“It happened that during our love game a leg was broken on the couch. I fell right on her cat, who, frankly, was cruel to me.”

“I persuaded her all night, and when I persuaded, I dropped everything and ran to work.”

“We decided to make love like we did in the movie 9.5 Weeks. I split up, and he anointed me with strawberries and began to sliced meat from my body. Everything was blessed well. In the evening he was caught by diarrhea from unwashed berries.

"Arthem began to gently smooth my hands, as if looking for a weapon."

“I came with a large bouquet of roses and kept silent all night. I was crying alone all night. “Is it a cowboy, just a big dog?”

“Once in 1975, my husband brought home a condom. I was afraid of him like a mouse or a rat. My husband was more experienced before marriage, he insisted on protection and, when he entered me with this Soviet condom, he took a selfie there and stayed there. And we, forgive me, tried to get the spoon for an hour.”

“The army made me a man, even though I didn’t want it.”

“I confessed to my wife that I had a passion for Mila, but I didn’t sleep with her. So she arranged for me that I’d better sleep.”

“On my first date at the age of 15, I took ten condoms. And all of them were useful: We filled them with water and threw them out of the lodge to the passers.

“When we sat at the table, I was between two Valers. They told me to make a wish. I guessed, but it was not my wish, but theirs."

"She said that she went to the country with her mother, and returned all in the meadows.
“Strange,” I say, “you have a relationship with your mother.”

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №20064
 07.09.2009
<edd> pct. The cat ate cellophane again. Sitting with such funny brikets... cats in envelope... need to be patented...>_<

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №20063
 07.09.2009
"...how to watch the smsks and made calls, and I know for sure that he’s crawling with his fools from work!! I can’t catch him now!! to
Help me! What to do???and "
____________________________

On that day, Stirlitz was closer than ever to failure.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №20062
 07.09.2009
After a long dispute, we came to the coitus.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №20061
 07.09.2009
Kirill SheLLest:
I stand early in the morning on Saturday at 7 a.m. at the tram stop, well, the people are all, a man five.The button comes - a boy 7-8 years old and waiting for the tram, like everybody.One of the grandmothers, the most heart-hearted, approaches the baby and asks in a deliberate tone:"Where are you grandson so early then you wait?!"To what she"innocent"tone of a sea wolf:"To school, babylon...to school..."

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №20060
 07.09.2009
CherryPah has joined #******-techsupport
<CherryPah> Hey, is there anyone alive?
<xxx> hello
<yyy> Do you have a question?
<CherryPah> Guys, I love you
<xxx> thank you very much 😉
<CherryPah> I love it so much that I would fuck you all for such a crazy tech support

[ + 46 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №20059
 07.09.2009
Reporting an error
Remember in technical support.
All employees own
Telepathy for the Five
Details of Errors
Do not know completely.
Let them guess themselves.
What happened to you
The program informs you.
What suddenly happened wrong?
He writes a lot.
Other incomprehensible words?
Appealing to Tech Support
He says “writing something.”
Do not add the full text
No one needs him.
Do not write to technical support.
What did you do with the program?
Before it ended
A terrible trouble with you.
What are the buttons
What was introduced and where
Why know technical support?
How to repeat the mistake?
Of course, all in the world.
As one without exception.
They use the same
Browsers like you.
Even the program version
Same for everyone
Technical support
They know her better than you.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna