From Darius.

Moody and Hickey:
Judging by the words of my mother, we have cats, crows, sea pigs and just try and don’t go to the institute.

He: What are you doing?
I watched porn.
He is: You? 0_0 and you say so calmly about it??? You destroyed my reality!! to
He: And what one?
She: Orgy in Communion
He is: everything. bear it.

Listened out on the street in a dialogue of two bands in specials:
Repairs in the women’s bathroom. She killed an inscription on one of the bars: "Attraction for Minet".

Ostap: Drop, I took the player from Yulka to use, as my broke, and there are only two folders: "Good Mood" and "Depresnyak". In the first folder all the different music, and in the second audio lessons of English...
4ert: Well, judging by her knowledge of English, in general, the girl is positive :)

Article on gas:
Gastrointestinal gases burn with blue and yellow flames. Dr. James L.A. Rose explains that a flame has a blue shade when the gas contains methane. And since methane is contained in the gases of only a small group of people (1/3 of the entire population), the exclusive club "Royal Order of the Blue Flame" was created, which was allowed only selected.

Will we have a couple tomorrow?
XXX: 1
Max: What is it? I ask a couple how much?
XXX: crushing programmer fucking one pair, one!

Thoughts like shit is the main thing to communicate.

About carpets and punishment.
As a researcher, I went to the scene of the accident.
Confusion of circumstances, misfortune, I don't even know how to treat everything, with humor but how, but I will try to explain the story...
Three boys, from 12 to 13 years of age from the family, to their misfortune, went once to visit one of their familiar peers, who again did not go well, that in a couple of days with his parents goes to the south, in the apartment remains a dog brand of a pudel, which a couple of times a day will walk and feed the neighbor, and so wait, I will bring souvenirs...
The idea of “putting out” the apartment in our three “heroes” appeared quite spontaneously. How to open the door? No one had sufficient skills to open the castles, so it was decided on ropes to descend from the roof, the apartment was located on the fifth floor of the standard five-storey.
“The Khrushchevs.”
What is surprising, the guys, with the help of a whole bunch of ropes and ropes, wrapped the equipment behind the winding, carefully dropped one of the fighters down, where he, climbing onto the balcony and knocking out the window, penetrated into the apartment. The dog in the apartment was driven to the kitchen by a pair of powerful pins, where it was left behind a chair-backed door.
Here the problems began.
The castle from the entrance door to the apartment was very original, powerful and had a specific feature, according to which it did not open without a "native" key neither from the outside nor from the inside.
After a short meeting through the door, our heroes decided not to try to open the door, but to raise unfairly stolen property through the balcony and roof. The process went. The roof dropped ropes, and the man in the apartment tied bags with various items to them.
It was impossible to roam the quarter silently, a vigilant neighbor, worried about the noise and suspicious organisms on the roof, called the police.
Two PPS teams arrived quickly. For half a minute, the peppers quietly watched the process, laughed, after which two went to the roof, one remained below, another sergeant was left in front of the door to the apartment.
Hi guys, are you working? He asked courteously on the roof.
There was another soldier's soldier's soldier.
By unfortunate coincidence, the boys tried to pull the ropes through the balcony to the roof of rather small sizes carpet. They needed a carpet, they subsequently could not explain it during the interrogation.
Halya...
Everything happened quickly and impressively. The guy, taking the carpet from above, from fear and surprise, slipped, and crashed from the roof down, but at the same time somehow in the flight managed to get stuck in the carpet from the window of the balcony, on which and safely, whispering in the throat, hanged.
The boy, who was in the apartment, should pay tribute to him, the carpet from his hands did not release and grabbed him with a dead grip.
The situation was pathetic. On the one hand, while in the apartment, the carpet was held by one person, on the other hand, hanging at the level of the fifth floor, holding the carpet, the second was hanging.
Pepesniki, realizing that the minor thief is threatened by a kiddyk, rushed to save the boy. The capital door of the apartment with an unshakable lock managed to break out literally in a few minutes. Bursting into the crater, the police rushed to the first sound heard, which, unfortunately, turned out to be an exhausting loudness of a pudel locked in the kitchen. The door of the kitchen opened, a pudel flew out of there with a bomb, and, not paying any attention to the police officers, went into the room with gambling, where without any warning he grabbed the ass of the guy who held the carpet. The guy, the second time we pay tribute to him, the carpet, even with the hanging dog on the railway, did not release.
The crush of the carpet could not withstand the whispering outside. Short flight along the route "fifth floor" - "gaze", cry of pain...
The carpet was only released out of fear, after two sergeants ran into the room, still hoping to help our fools.
The carpet flew down, a silenced blow was heard, screams from the lawn were silenced...
The young man who tried to scare down from the fifth floor was caught. The third fighter, the youngest of all, who stood on the roof, was caught without any problems, he only got rid of fear.
The organizer of everything, he actually "flown", was taken to the traumatology with a fracture of the leg and ribs.
With the theft our "heroes", according to the story of the district, intentionally bound...

Two men discuss the wonders of non-traditional medicine:
Kashpirovsky said to the boy, “Break the bones and go!” The boy left and
I went.
What was he sick of?
and a cold.
Why the costumes?
My grandmother is not.

Today my mom searched for Yandex on Google, I think Google is so crazy :)

I remember my mom bought hemp clothes when I was in 6th grade. In 8th grade they became my little ones and we and friends cooked them. We drank the decoction and on the day 4 we were so pearl...
Where can I buy these pants now?
yyy: paththalom... two years you have them on your ass, two years my mom washed and boiled them.... finally you cooked them... well, 4 days to go to the toilet-it's cool))
Zzzz: The socks were not cooked? At least a week of coaching!

and Mom! Can I bring my guests for the weekend?
Don’t have guests, let them go.

A friend tells us how he went on an empty hill.
Sarcon: There was only one unexpected event - I was kicked off by OMON
0 0 0 What is it?
Sarcon: That is how it happened. But I was cautious.
Sarcon: I pulled them off the car half a minute before that, so they didn’t get offended.
I’ll be proud of you and tell your grandchildren.

Are you a believer?
and ah.
How much do you value your soul? Only do not need there pathos words of the type "Soul is invaluable and so on". I need a clear answer.
At five of yours.
No...! How much do you value mine?
One fifth of mine.
No is no! I need numbers, the amount!
One tenth plus one tenth.
The fucking...

The Habr. The new parking system.
A: It will be difficult for this system to be on the Russian parking lot, where in the middle of the parking lot can be a healthy pit, under which there will be no less global scale of a pit or an unclosed well, and to drive around all this without breaking the mark - it is impossible. Can you imagine that there are such things underneath the car?
b: Do you suggest adding an echolot to the Russian version of the setup?
A laser gun.

Two friends came to me to spend the night. We talked, time to go to sleep, and like to wash. I, in a joke, said that there is a gap in the bathroom in which everything can be seen. To be embarrassed, all work. When all the washed were gathered, including me, laughing, I that I was joking. What they looked at, confused and gave out: "and we found..."
=) is

Former Depeche Mode member and current boss of the Recoil project Alan Walder about the domestic automobile industry:
Journalist: - Alan, as far as we know, you used to ride on "Lade". Please tell me what model it was and what model year. Why did you prefer her?
A.UI don’t remember what model year it was, it was a long time ago. About in 1981. I did not prefer her! I bought the Lada because my father recommended it as a cheap used car. I never listened to my father’s advice again.
Q: What interesting moments were during the operation of this car?
A.UA motor that swings on the track and strong muscles from the steering wheel, like in a tank.
Q: Was this car not filmed in the "Depeche Mode" Stripped 1986 video? Tamm DM beat the hammer on the universal "Lada-2102".
A.UNot my car, unfortunately. My one was red.

I stood in a women’s clothes shop, looking at the clothes near the entrance. A guy comes in with a girl and the guy says, “Hello, Hell!”

Who Believes in 2012 I Believe in You
YYY: 2012 is coming, I tell you exactly.
zzz: I believe that 2012 is 2 kilograms and 12 grams.

I wanted to put money on the phone through the ATM, it doesn’t lie down and everything... removed the money, new such :) 5 times tried to get into the payment terminal for the phone, does not accept... back to me my paper returns, then guessed that the paper is too new, removed it and the terminal accepted :)