Once students of the psychological faculty, after studying conditional reflexes, decided to work out the studied material on one of the teachers. Comrade loved walking around the audience and gesturing, which greatly annoyed everyone. And the guys came up with such a thing, when the prede began to walk around the audience, everyone began to get distracted and talk to each other. As soon as he sat at the table, everyone calmed down and listened attentively to him. After a while it worked. The training was successful! :)

I was on a reception with a gynecologist, but in the clinic, it does not seem to know that the heating season began last week. Sitting on the chair, I say to the doctor, “You’re cold.

Doctor: Heat was not given, I am so cold here that my hands are cold. Patients are warm.

rnashallah: Post appeal to NASA

Why don’t you explore the world ocean, which is literally beneath us? ? to You’re sending a robot into space millions of miles in search of aliens, but you’re not exploring the vast space that occupies most of our planet. Please, I am scared.



by stephendann:

NASA knows. NASA has seen dark depths. NASA’s desire to leave the planet is stronger than ever.

If in the search engine go immediately to the third and beyond pages, you can find inexpensive products or interesting articles.

In Primorye began to issue wood on the electronic list.
What a wonderful combination of “wood” and “electronic list.”

Psychologists advise: if you really liked a beautiful girl, you offered her to go to a restaurant, but she categorically refused, and you were very upset because of this, come home, play with your grandchildren, it reassures.

I came to the interview, talked, said the results will be. Two weeks of silence. I came there again, in the office where employees were already sitting, I was asked who I am - I say, what to arrange for work. Interview was done? Yes is. So sit down, go on, after lunch, we’ll go out to shape. formed. Then I see a rare use of my email, and there is a rejection from this company according to the results of the interview. Just not that email in the questionnaire indicated, but another, for registrations everywhere. I was refused, and I eventually settled.

Sometimes I and my classmate go home after school (it is 2.5km from home), there was this dialogue:

A classmate, this is me.

A: Guzzaki, who do you love?

I: thoughtfully – I don’t know, and you who?

I love the government.

I also love the government.

(This is one of the smart boys with a beautiful handwriting)))

O: No, I love the government, let you love Serezhu?

(And Sereza is also a smart boy with a beautiful handwriting)

I: Let me go!

The next day before I came to school, the whole class already knew that I loved Sereza... And so until the 4th grade I was irritated that I "love him"))

All names have changed, coincidences are coincidental.

If the ophthalmologist can smooth out, then the gynecologist - smooth out.

Many know of one of the most expensive fake in the world of art – “Black Square” Malevich. This is not only fake but also plagiarism. The first "picture", more than 20 years before Casimir, was portrayed by the French humorist Alphonse Allé. In 1893 he published this painting under the title "The Battle of Negroes in a Cave in the Deep Night". After this, there was a clean sheet of paper titled “First Communion of Chlorose-Sick Girls in the Snow” and a red rectangle “Cutting Tomato Harvest on the Red Sea by Apoplexic Cardinals.” His most famous work, however, became a musical masterpiece: "A mourning march for the funeral of the great deaf" - a few minutes of silence.

Black is only up to 48 sizes. Further, he is powerless, leopard loins are needed.

At the beginning of the zero walked at the first hour of the night from the comrade, there were 100 meters left to the house. I turn down the path around the corner - the chicken in the cap puts a knife to the blade. In the dark light I recognize an old acquaintance:

The dinosaur? Did you think?!...

Sorry, I did not admit. How do you live?

I am normal...

I have a small business - several service centers for the repair of digital equipment in a city with a population of <350k.

So I decided to open another reception. The room is ready, it remains for the receiver. Advertising in avito, vk, etc. Saturday, the first call from the applicant: "I can't come today, I work, but on Monday morning I am ready to go to an interview." Well, I did not pay much attention, because there are many such calls. On the same day, another, an excellent candidate comes to the interview. And in this field worked, and me and him is satisfied with everything! I teach his program for 4 hours, explain what papers to fill, etc. We agree that on Monday he will go to work, and I will leave the keys to him at the neighboring cafe, as they are our clients.

So on Monday. My phone calls, I’m in the office. The employee calls R.

Hi, I have arrived.

(I) - Good, start working, I'll come at lunch, I'll see what's going on.

R – How to start?

Take the keys, get in and start.

Where are the keys?

(I) - Where-where, in the cafe "C... G..." at the administrator.

R is good.



Well I think the brake is somewhat, okay, just the first day, probably. By lunch, I realize that I am not able to get there, I ask the assistant:

I have to go and see how there is.

In an hour, the assistant calls:

"Listen, and here on the go, another person is sitting, not the one we interviewed on Saturday.

How is it? What did you take?

How were they called?

smoke

This is Vlad!

Tree sticks, so it was the one who first called, came to the interview, and I sat him to work. That is, the guy came to talk, and he said, “Start working!“He has started!

Dima did not come to work and stopped picking up the phone. And Vlad, by the way, so and stayed working, and, in addition, not very bad! As he later said, “This is the fastest interview in my life!”

The feeling of hunger can be stopped with a glass of vodka. But the strawberries can not be neutralized.

Just before the nokaut.

Beginning of 2000. The Drawing.
We go with him to Vasilievskaya. Something urgent. Take documents from the apartment and take someone to sign.
We throw the car at the entrance, run, grab the papers, cut down and nate.
The exit is covered by a silent Mercedes.
- All, he got me - summarizes Kaban.
Who is?
There was a wonderful neighbor in our house. The car park constantly.
Do you know him?
No, but let’s get to know.
The tone does not predict anything good for the neighbor. In the words of Fyodor Mikhailich, we gathered
“To bring some trouble to joy.”

We climb the stairs. We knock at the door. We hold back the urge to immediately serve the genius of parking in the mouth.
The door is opened by an invisible male of medium height and thick design. Looking at the collar. And who would be delighted with the visit of two bald murlocatans with traces of evil on inspired faces and mouths full of obstacles.
– to?
“I’m already opening my mouth to tell the neighbor that he, Mille pardons, misérable and his memeton is frapping the whole secular society in the county, but...
But Kaban suddenly cries out:
“Sensei ni Ray!”
It is used in traditional Japanese worship.
I repeat the gesture on the machine.
The man raises his eyebrows, then picks up, worships in response.
and Ray!
and OSS!
We are straight.
I don’t understand anything, but I keep silent for the case. The sensitive third nostril reports that in this setting silence is not only gold, but also a guarantee of the integrity of the body.
Does the car hinder? The neighbor asks fun.
What a rare, phenomenal insight!!“I want to answer with warmth, “Dove, you are a genius!” but I bite my tongue.
Especially because the face is fuzzy to me and promises nothing good.
And Alexey Borisovich. Sorry for the worry, but emergency circumstances require our immediate presence elsewhere.
I am going down now. Walk to.
And, already closing the door, he notices: "Kekki-no-ju about imammer kat"

Your own mother. Get rid of rude and uncontrollable behavior. One of the basic rules of karate. He washed us!

On the machine we worship again with exhalation - "Oss, Sensei"

We quietly descend the stairs. Finally I shut my mouth:
Who is it?
The storming.
The two. Now we’re going to get rid of him... Where have you seen him?
He gave me the belt.
and stop. I remembered. He was in the cottage when I was performing.
How did he act?
It is brilliant. It was knocked in the third minute.
You’t suffer so much.
That...

It is strange that forests were burning in Siberia, and smoking was banned on the balconies!

I remember one of my first students drove me to hysterics, tears, trembling knees and crying, “I won’t go there anymore! » Then my dad helped me, he very much asked not to abandon the child, saying that such a wonderful practice I will hardly find anywhere else. I am very happy that I did not leave then, but continued to work with this child - yes, not the easiest, but strikingly smart, clever, ingenious - I learned a lot from him. After that, I started a "band" of difficult children at home school because of social aggression.

It was hard, but I found a common language with most of them.

I remember coming to the new child, my mother instructed that you should not go in and interfere. The boy (10 years old) looked at me, smiled, opened his mouth, and... cried.

As he spoke... the windows trembled, the hair rose, the ears hurt!

He stopped only when another one joined his army. the mine.

In a deep shock, he knocked his eyes and looked at me, “What are you talking about, aunt? »

“What are you worshipping? He smiled proudly, “Because I’m an aggressive child! »

I said, “I’m an aggressive trainer! »

“Are there such? “He had doubts.

“Of course! Do you want more? »

“No, I don’t want to... Why did you bring it with you? The boy pointed to the book on which the twist was drawn, with a scaled fist.

“It is? A collection of terrible stories in English. But... you’re unlikely to ever read them, there’s a lot of unknown words.”

“You think... how do you know? Maybe I’ll translate it now. »

It was started)

The best hobby is the one for which money is paid.

A few words about luck.

Giving in debt to close people who have problems is not a pleasant thing. You can perceive this as charity, but for them it is fundamental to return all the penny in a penny and also with interest.
Because otherwise their social status suffers and in our environment this is a basic thing in life.
I gave a loan to a friend. In time could not give, then began to extinguish parts. I see it hard for a man, but talking about writing a message does not want because the principle. I began to think about how to solve the issue in a mutually convenient way. And invented it.
“Misha, I have 3 days of exhibition, I need to help.
What to do?
- Work as a secret agent, like you are a businessman, you do not sell them to anyone, but you are very interested in what others have. Well, in the intersection of communication a few words about my company and about what you (reasonably) think we are more interesting than others.
That is I can. have agreed.
- Well, you bring one customer - think you owe nothing. And these conditions are not just for you – for all agents.

Before the exhibition:
I have a fever here, not tomorrow at all. But! I have a brother – he is not a businessman but an artist, but maybe you can explain what he needs, and he will try?
The artist? I don’t even know... well, fuck it no joke – let’s.

I call my brother. I tell them how to communicate with whom and what to talk to. I think I understood it, and then it will work out.
The next morning he calls and says he’s not allowed. I'm surprised - it's like everything in the lists is but the artists - a separate world. Five minutes later, I wrote what happened. and silence. The next day the same - says that they don't let go, after 5 minutes that passed and again silent.
After the exhibition ends, sends a package of business cards and contacts from the phone with details of who and what. I send it to the sales department.
What about impressions?
There seems to be interest...

By the way, the exhibition itself - a rare city - a car for the people "just look and take your time", a minimum of customers. I do not expect anything in particular.

The sales manager calls:
I have only one question.
and valley!
“I’m not asking you who of the agents gathered the contacts I received. I ask you, Where did he find these people?
What is it?
I’ve been selling for 5 years, one of them is yours. But to catch the deputy head of the largest oil and gas holding company in the country at our profile exhibition is the same as meeting the Pope of Rome, whispering with the Patriarch at the entrance of the five-story town of Turyuble! And here I have such contacts - a dozen, half of them warm and two are ready to work this week!
Yes is. It is incredible. And strange. I have no such level of contacts even though I did not leave the entire exhibition from our pavilion. I will find out from the agent.
I call the actor, the brother of my debtor.
Hello to you! Of course you gave!
What is wrong? The problems? Worked badly?
“Yes, no, everything is great, tell Misha that the debt is over and I owe him more, I’ll soon find out how much.
Oh well super!
Tell me how you pulled out such people.
Why remove them?
In the sense?
"Well, there is no one at all, everyone communicates quietly in the pavilions, I approached, met, spoke, changed contacts - all like you taught!
I don’t know – what does it mean? We had a battle at the exhibition! Have you seen our pavilion?
No, I probably didn’t get to him.
- Misha, our pavilion in the center of the hall!
and no. In the middle of the hall there was a gas station from which I brought you contact.
Guess what exhibition did you go to?? to
Natural Resources of Russia 2019
We are Russian franchisees.
and FAX! And I think why my pass did not work... I lied to the guard that I showed the number in the storage chamber – and I went on both days.
"I don't even know what to say to you - you have the best result - provided you worked without preparation and not on our target group. You could say a million...

What to eat for lunch today, dear?
Meat of lamb in spicy sauce.
Oh! oh! oh!! to
This is written on the dog conserve.