bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №19858
 01.09.2009
I read on net:

A typical American bought a package of vests for workers in a volume of 20 pieces, not thinking long, ate one, respectively poisoned, did a washing, collected certificates and fell to the court on the following - Neither the vests bought by him, nor the packaging was written that they could not be used as food! Together with a good lawyer, he won the case and received a million dollars for moral damages.
Baldey

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №19857
 01.09.2009
Now there is no particular job, so in the office I play the role of a regular ficus with the right to roast loudly and climb in contacts.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №19856
 01.09.2009
The fight against corruption in our country is essentially the elimination of competition.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №19855
 01.09.2009
and hello. I am waiting for a child.)
I am afraid to appear to be a cynical cowboy, of course, as it usually happens in such cases, but I will still ask: And you didn't confuse me with anyone, we just seemed to be with you only once... and we greeted you by the hand?
- :))) I meant your courier by contract )))

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №19854
 01.09.2009
With a familiar:
"Yesterday I ate ice cream "Scandal". After that, he really wanted someone to go fucking. I thought it would be good to throw out cigarettes "Hey you kid", flashbacks "You’re breaking up?!", or 15 kilograms quivaldo "I do not smoke"."

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №19853
 01.09.2009
Grédy Squirrel (22:34:19 30/08/2009)
I like quiet and not boring children.

JustFun? (22:34:31 30/08/2009)
I want

JustFun? (22:34:36 30/08/2009)
Report to

JustFun? (22:34:43 30/08/2009)
What you love

JustFun? (22:34:50 30/08/2009)
Dead children

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №19852
 01.09.2009
The Russians struggle long before deciding not to go at all.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №19851
 01.09.2009
Hearing from the box, from the life of Ted Kennedy (now the late American senator):

Someday during the hot debate for a seat in Congress, Ted’s opponent
Kennedy accused him that Ted “hadn’t worked a single day in his life.” Kennedy was born in a very wealthy family.
The next day, Kennedy pushed a speech at a factory. After the speech, a worker approached him and said:
I heard yesterday what they said about you... what kind, no day.
You have worked in your life... Well, don’t worry, you’re nothing.
No such thing was missed.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №19850
 01.09.2009
The girl in the bus holds the cat on her knees and gently smoots it. A man sitting in front of him says:
I wish I was in your cat’s place.
I’m going to take him to the veterinarian for castration.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №19849
 01.09.2009
I was driving in the Gorky direction. Along with the pseudographs on the fencing type: There is no Chinese expansion. We work rifles, the bourgeois ropes.
and etc. I saw the inscription: With me my cats - I am not alone.
Is it one of you?

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №19848
 01.09.2009
missmandarin (08:56:19 31/08/2009)
You can answer me one question, or I asked a guy here, he told me that I was stupid and I was just interested.

Shhh (08:56:36 31/08/2009)
Speak to

missmandarin (08:58:22 31/08/2009)
Why when you press the gas pedal with two legs the car doesn't go 2 times faster, I checked it all night yesterday and didn't understand why and he tells me that I'm a fool, he said.

Shhh (08:59:29 31/08/2009)
It’s a lot ? ? ?

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №19847
 01.09.2009
I bought a cat of the Sphinx breed, named Anger.Now I have a home personal monster.

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №19846
 01.09.2009
Usually, when customers finally get me by phone calls, I say "Fuck!", and then I pick up the phone.

This is the opposite (

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №19845
 01.09.2009
K to:
"What is the common thing between eggs and milk?"

They run and run.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №19844
 01.09.2009
xxx: in general, the girl is beautiful, tits, pussy, legs under 3 meters.
Feet below 3 meters? What a fucking thing)

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №19843
 01.09.2009
Do you also have a dog?
No, no fuck
How did you call me, Scotty?! to

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №19842
 01.09.2009
I checked someone in contact:

The more a woman has brains, the more interesting it is with her in bed, even if she is silent.

[ + 91 - ] Comment quote №19841
 31.08.2009
Another fucking summer has passed.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №19840
 31.08.2009
My girlfriend doesn’t like kids, I ask her somehow:
How did she fly?
- I arrived normally, only to me in the neighboring chair moved a young monster, but it was relatively quiet, probably, full...

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №19839
 31.08.2009
Does it seem stupid to me alone to advertise the quality of a new TV on the TV? And also comment on the type "there is the quality you will enjoy with our new TV!!!"

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna