bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №103074
 21.09.2014
We were in Budapest and lived in the City Apartments. The Wi-Fi points at the neighbors were called Fucking City Apartments, City Apartments Sucks, Fucking Tourists From City Apartments, City Apartments Go Home. Lovely people...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103073
 21.09.2014
xxx: From the company "VTB-Insurance" came a letter "Give gifts for the best adventures". What are they about?
yyy: Casting for the most exciting insurance case

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №103072
 21.09.2014
I am a great 5B manager. After the lessons, they went with them to clean the area. There was almost no garbage, so the children began to get angry. One boy ran with a package against the wind and spoke: "MUSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!". I caught myself in the thought that I also want to run and scream: "MUSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!!!and "
26 years old, teacher, I don’t feel like an adult at all :D

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №103071
 21.09.2014
The harmless man. Noisy, often under the beer, a lover then in a fight to use, then in a monkey to be

— — — —

Ahha, we know such: "I just asked to smoke", "The car just took a ride"...
It’s disgusting to read!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103070
 21.09.2014
From Szhaman:

In this place, I always remember the fairy comments in the Lithuanian news portal. Then they discussed a small change in the gun law. And it was written in such a way that, if desired, it was possible to understand what they were deciding - whether to allow the sale of guns in Lithuania at all.

I sat and just stumbled. Unfortunately I could not keep the comments. All internet theorists were hysterical - but how can we allow weapons in Lithuania? We have corrupt mentions, people are wild, drunkenness and crime. Absolutely not! Lithuania is not America - there are traditions - and here is wildness.

Everything is like a copycake with arguments in Russia. Humor is that wearing and possessing guns was allowed at the time for more than 10 years.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103069
 21.09.2014
(Man is an administrator at the bar)
Kirill
Yesterday there was a fight again.
I’m waiting for my pizza to come 😉
Given who I am working with, it will happen soon)))
Nikolay
There are quiet people like
Kirill
That is yes))
Although yesterday one person got between the case for the question "what’s happening"
Nikolay
I did not get it)
He was answered clearly.)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №103068
 21.09.2014
I have a dating site with a Polish woman. It almost reached the point.
XX: I squeeze my chest with one hand, and the other squeezes my cheek.
I: How do you print?

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №103067
 21.09.2014
Title: The Pizza
Original title: Pizza
Year of Release: 2014
Genre: horror, thriller, mystic
Country : India
Produced by: UTV Motion Pictures

by djtaren:
Are there dances? If there were, I would have stumbled, never seen horrors with dances.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №103066
 21.09.2014
I’m a fucking joke, I admit.
I went into food, the mood was awkward.
I see the value "kill in that. Sweetened "
I tell the saleswoman - and exactly in this sauce?
She raised her eyes and was tired:
That is the same, young man, that is the same...

An anecdote on the subject:
It was brought to the shops during the times of the Brežnev shortage of canned food "Coffee whale in tomato sauce". Kilometre lines, all in a moment. A happy man comes home with a conserve, opens, and there is only a tomato sauce and nothing more. He goes back to the store and goes to the seller. Yes, tired of getting rid of the complaints: "Well, you probably also got a hole".
Good and delicious food for everyone.)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №103065
 21.09.2014
Why is it so difficult to communicate with programmers?
YYY: They learn several machine languages, eventually forgetting the human language.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №103064
 20.09.2014
XXX: Again aunt some got up in the passage :/ Neither to circumvent nor to pull out.
YYY: I call them Celestials.
XXX: O_o
yyy: Because "princesses" and cobbles at the same time :3

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №103063
 20.09.2014
And I'm wondering, muezzin so passes in one copy, or a few of them, and they have watches? Or maybe they are, for example, two, and they make noise two by two?

99% of the minarets have long been installed, and this scale in the recording is broadcast. Really beating the throat for faith is now accepted on the Internet.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103062
 20.09.2014
xxx: In the documents to my clock it is stated that they have an error of 3 seconds per year
My clock is not...
XXX is wrong?
YYY: the documents

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №103061
 20.09.2014
We talk about girls.
In general, I added her to my friends. Truth is, I do not know what to do next.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №103060
 20.09.2014
I remember, at our wedding very loudly, during the kissing, oral a drunk testi, the words "debil" "compassion" "nakera" well and in this kind. And why 15 years ago I was so dumb that I couldn’t understand such hints.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103059
 20.09.2014
You capitalists are shit! You are riding on the opels, splashes. You drink our blood.
You are somewhat small. Nothing to drink.
XHH: And we were specifically to eat you had nothing.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №103058
 20.09.2014
Thro the night in the courtyard of the house was the alarm with a periodicity of once every half an hour, in the morning looked out the window and saw a standing car with an epic inscription on the rear glass "tamada and music always".

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103057
 20.09.2014
For the third time in a day, blood comes from the nose. What to do?
Nails are cut.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №103056
 20.09.2014
And a group of Chinese who occupied several tables. Next to him were a husband and wife. The husband picked up a little bit of everything that interested him, and carefully, with the appearance of a pioneer-examiner, tried it. And the most, in his opinion, edible and safe, offered to his wife.

The wife was frightened and nervously cleansed the cooked hard egg. And their comrades friendly picked up the packages with the bowl, poured it with boiling water from the boiler and began to absorb. We also put a package of soy sauce around. At the same time, most sat in headphones and watched the iPhones. So why would you go to Vienna in such a hotel and still pay for food?
— — — —
You will behave similarly even in a very expensive Chinese hotel for breakfast, unless a European option is provided. Eat, in the best case, a cake.
Why go to Vienna and pay? Because there is money.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №103055
 20.09.2014
The Smart:

Twenty years, you have to change the passport. I decided to use a public service website. To access most services, you need to go through a document authentication procedure. And here is the most interesting thing - the passport is invalid, since since the date of birth has been a long time, which I was informed by the system during the check. Called the support, offered to replace the passport to contact the FMS or MFC, and then later... That is, to change the passport through the site, you need to change the passport.
– – – – –

The passport must be valid at the time of registration, not overdue. I had to worry earlier.
And it is better to change the passport sooner, or now for late with the exchange quite often a fine is taken.

Do you have potassium iodide?
It is only cyanide.
What is the difference?
Not too much, just 2 rubles.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna