If a man says he is rich, successful, and free, do not demand that he say the truth.

The indictment of the defendant in the Alabama court:
“I came back after a year of service in Afghanistan. I missed my wife very much. It was a stormy night of love. But the wife suddenly came out of the shower with a towel wrapped on her head. I shot her.”

Husband to wife:
Dear, do you love me?
Of course my dear!
Can you forgive betrayal?
Of course, my dear, I will forgive the dead.

They play poker best.
The Flegmatic Mr. Poher.

I live in Kamchatka. I read this:
"...And I take a ticket to the Kamchatka region, and please - Lake Elgigythyn!". I shrink a little. How did I not see him in 23 years? Go to Google. Well of course! So it is in the Chukotka...Hello author, blatant

A female logic? My unseen man calls me and whispers at the phone.
What soap did you buy? Horror of something.
and?? to
Soap is dark, it smells ugly.
What was in the closet? What are you washing?
Yes and what? It smells good, but it smells very bad. You always buy something shit.
I phallomorphized. Instead of using a toilet soap lying in a soap, or one of the three gels next to the shelf, my miracle did not let go into the closet, and dig in the back row lying in a closed (because smell) soap, the dark, scary, stinking VETERINARY peanut soap I’m holding for the dog. I washed my hair and it was my fault. :)

In our city, the servants of the state stated that the main problem of the city is... not the increase in the number of cars. No narrow roads and their poor condition. Not a bad set of lights. The main problem, they say, is the pedestrians.
of Khabarovsk.

Ctulhu
You have chocolate :D
Ctulhu
Not with you.
Phantom
It is late, I have already fallen.

Hemingway's first wife fucked a portfolio with three years of his manuscripts. She went in the suitcase, went out as needed, returned – everything was in place, no wallet.

She went out to buy something to read on the road.

It is said that Hemingway was very angry even thirty years later. I can imagine "the sheep! You had a wallet with the best American prose since Mark Twain! Did you go out to buy something to read on the road?and "

xxx (23:03:11): I will not suck you that is not clear what is crazy!!? to
xxx (23:03:25): Oh
xxx (23:03:37): not there
yyy (23:04:19): Can I put it out?
yyy (23:04:52): If you don’t answer in a minute, I’ll post it.
xxx (23:07:11): No

Dad is a teacher at the institute. There is noise in the audience, he says:
I am not the age to comment with your voice, but I can still do it with my hands.
Then one courageous man shows the phone and says:
I recorded everything you said on the phone.
The father replied calmly:
And now guess what will become his coat.
and pause. The audience is hysterical.

I almost found a girlfriend.

XX: Precisely almost found, not almost a girl.

The younger girl turns in front of the mirror.
and Mom! by Ma-Aam I am so fat, just a nightmare ((
Since her figure is not perfect, but does not smell nightmare, I ask:
What did you take?
-When I wore this shirt six months ago, I was sitting perfectly, and now horror (((Ele clamps, and wrinkles.
You just got your breasts growing.)
What is? What other chest? O_O
He turns to his side and looks at himself carefully.
Oh yeah! I have a breast!! to
and 😉

xxx: We have Vanka what pills he has taken, he is now reading the instructions. Hm, what it depends on side effects.
Yyy: Well, as always about diarrhea started =)
...
XXX: He dropped out of WoT and fell asleep!))) Now I look at what he was doing there.
...
xxx: ahaha))) "It is not recommended to drive a vehicle". It seems to be serious about the tank worries)))

Serxio21: I stopped your internet
I left your hair on your soap.
YANL: I hid your stuffing in your pancakes
Webmario: I am your cigarette not that old smoking
Malena: I gave your neighbor’s dragon!
Yumko: I am your omelette shell

Talk about the reference book "Paul" in 1C:

XXX: He met seven years ago in a complex...
No information has been provided in the pension...
I went into this directory - there were three:
The Male
female
and - "by agreement of the parties".
To say that I was crying is to say nothing.

Interesting fact: It only takes 21 days to get rid of a bad habit without making it.
Do you want to stay there for 21 days? #65279; What did you do?! to

Habr, comments on the post about paying for the metro with the help of a cell phone

xxx: If someone is persistently rubbing about you in the subway, it may be a cyber scam, not an ax effect.

The English lesson was fun in general. He sometimes put us songs in English that we had to listen to understand and then teach.we once and decided to stick, began to demand the cruise frog at the next class, the whole group at once. It was necessary to immediately suspect the wrong thing, when he looked at us strangely and easily agreed :) Well, we came to the next couple with almost not the whole group - it is interesting, after all, whether we will really sing cruise frog. and singing. The Beatles sang for the second time. In general, for about half an hour, they sang this dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty. Something is tired, we ask, maybe we can start. and he looks at us, cries like a horse and says that before the holidays today is a shortened day, with the fourth couple everything is cancelled and there will be no lessons.

I sit with a girl in the kitchen. She enthusiastically reads the book of the Warhammer40k series about the brave space wolf. Suddenly hangs, runs through the eyes of the lines just read... and again... and again...
What happened? I ask.
Whether the translators are chasing me.
What did you read there?
Ragnar on Terra did not like everything: new people, sounds, smells and the shape of the team members.
O_O