I was now at the closing of the film festival, I saw Michael Madson and other stars, all such dressed, cockroaches strapped straight.The counterculture was represented by me, drunk, with a beard and a yellow t-shirt in mint and another guy, but he was taken by mints...

For the Chinese:

And a group of Chinese occupying several tables. Next to him were a husband and wife. The husband picked up a little bit of everything that interested him, and carefully, with the appearance of a pioneer-examiner, tried it. And the most, in his opinion, edible and safe, offered to his wife.

The wife was frightened and nervously cleansed the cooked hard egg.
and...

Good luck, good luck, good luck baby

Elizabeth II in Scotland waited for the results of the referendum.
XX: Survived, not a girl, tea
XXX: Soon there, and there... The ancestors are knocking with swords, and they say: “Lizka, shit, the state has also begun to break up, America has been crushed, India has been lost, Ireland has fallen, now Scotland, what is next – Wales?” This is a new generation for me... Ah, trust the country of Baba...
XX: And to the limit of angry Elizabeth I: "Ah, you are a dick painted..."

XHHH: Today at the FIZ-RE in 1A class a student gave! He, standing in the line, removed the cords, then pulled up the socks... Teacher in a stupa! Not immediately it came to her that the team "Five together - socks apart" the student will understand literally. Judging by the teacher’s wild hysteria after class, this is the first such case in her twenty-year practice.

to this:
4PDA, comment to the article "Google is developing a new object recognition system":

Asimo83: Google will have to work for a long time: for example, to recognize my neighbor - on Friday evening, and then on Monday morning!!! Two very different creations :)

Who forgot the classics?

"Borka drunk and Borka sober are so different people that they are not even familiar with each other"
Dwight Dwight, "The Reserve"

xxx: And I have two tiles at home - electric and gas. Electric - the grandmother's pachino (Pasha - the former boyfriend), and gas - Oleg.
yyy: Normal what
XXX: Well, from the world to the thread...
yyy:...c guy - by tile)

And many think by giving samples (regardless of what water, blood, etc.) Results can be obtained in a few minutes. Especially when they show how the test tube is put into the laboratory centrifuge and in a couple of seconds the image with the chromatogram on the monitor screen. This excludes the creation of a bunch of papers and compliance with all the rules. Or put a hair under a microscope and immediately give out how many and what metals they found, and not a hint of the actual equipment with which such analysis can be made.
I wonder if they think we are so stupid.



You won't believe:) I work in a laboratory, periodically come such individuals, in addition to "technical" specialties and far from ordinary positions, and ask to find in this drop of water all the table of Mendeleev and all the organics up to the substances not described in the literature. Let it go straight in 10 minutes. The objections are said, but in "Next" they show, so it is possible.

P.S And in general, it’s crazy to look at DNA molecules in an optical microscope :)

Walk, Parking, Dialogue at the Fire
Drinking tea in the rain is good!
2, humour: And rain in tea is bad.

At an old job, the boss once asks:
How much time do you need for the program?
Well, in three months, you can show something, you will see.

(3 months has passed)
and hello. Is the program ready? We sold it to two customers, it is time to deliver.
– O_O

XXX: My sister is burned
xxx: grit, from her cough dragging, as if you had been drinking a week
I actually drank for a week...

News with comments:
The Security Council of the Russian Federation will discuss the disconnection of Russia from the global internet

Urriy: And it can make the Kremlin a museum and leave them there alone without the internet, foreign food and clothing. There are no elections, only a crazy king and a courtyard. Let them invent their "laws", and we show them in the humorous magazine "Kremlin news"?

My mom started posting icons on Facebook. I wrote on a pair of boards that she sells icons wholesale. After 20 or 50 calls, the icons were removed.

In the evening I go home from work, tired, the whole day laid networks, set up comps, dropped routes, set up firewalls...

Behind me a guy walked, we approached the elevator together. I go in, turn around, and by habit I ask:

Which to you?
The fifth... – without any fear the guy answers...
- OK - I say and I start ticking the lift buttons: 1,9,2,1,6,8,1,4,3,...

And only when the elevator (by some miracle not going crazy, touched to go to some random floor) came to me the realization of what happened... I turn to the guy, and the one in the corner pressed and eyes like a frog, he looks at me not glimpsing... Apologized to him - said that he reworked, he seemed to believe, but from the elevator all the way, he ran out afterwards...

I did not know that Kosovo was a country until it imposed sanctions on Russia.

My wife briefly explained everything.

I look fucking late.

Study of personnel. The lecturer (L) has been arguing with the girl (D) for three minutes about compliance with the laws in personnel affairs:
D (hot): And the accountant tells us to do what is convenient for them! Well, what’s a little wrong with the law...We’re a team!
L (flegmatic): team and sit down. It will be more fun.

citizens of Zekai and Zekai, former present and future
Remember one proverb "beware the honor of the straw". But once you have lost, you do not have to smell that you are so good to show some wrong attitude, because there is even more hatred in the world than you.

A joke on the subject.

An old Scottish man sits in a pub, sits, pulls a beer, smokes a tube. He sat, sat and said:
This is this mill, I built it myself, ONE!... I gathered the stones, put the solution and built... but for some reason nobody calls me McFlaren the builder of mills.
He sat down, drank a beer, and went on.
This garden, which now has the greatest harvest of fruits and berries, I have planted myself, ONE!Everyone rejoices and gathers fruit. But for some reason nobody calls me a McFlaren gardener.
He sat down, drank a beer, and went on.
This is the bridge I built myself.He broke trees, sculpted and made a bridge, now cars ride on it, people walk on it. But for some reason nobody calls me the McFlaren bridge builder.
He sat down, drank a beer, and went on.
But it was necessary to cut off the sheep once.

We sit and do lessons. Both are no longer. The child is suffering and suffering. I: Well, don’t worry, it’s not all that bad and hard. It will be harder and worse...
Baby: Mother, do not encourage me!! to

I hope there is a separate hell for drivers with unregulated headlights.

24 hours in finished working shoes, in which air does not penetrate.
The march now with my socks can solve world conflicts. They’ll all be friends if I don’t let them go :D