bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №70573
 25.09.2012
I turned on the telephone yesterday. There was advertising, stalling a grant. He checks the documents, then says the luggage compartment open... A man with a loose mouth opens the luggage compartment... and there AK 47 is brightly yellow... I am O_o wtf?? Ment in the frame asks: What is it? That is, replies the man of Grant with the machine. Not a pepper? I was still 5 minutes after this advertisement in the stupor. Are they the ones who invented them?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №70572
 25.09.2012
Yesterday in the store.
Before us, a man for 40 years bought a washing machine.
The worker asks the saleswoman: Do you have legs for my dishwasher?
Q: What kind of pool do you have?
M: Do I have it? Hm... the man!
and :)

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №70571
 25.09.2012
Interview with "MTS":
- On "Kievstar" do you bet?
and constantly.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №70570
 25.09.2012
Yandex is evil.
I had to find a rhythm to congratulate. Entered in the search "rhythms online"... So this bastard immediately gave a side picture with the image of the wall, on which is written "Anton Gondon"
I hate it (

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №70569
 25.09.2012
I am a fucking librarian.
2: What a charm. The classical "punishment cannot be pardoned". This is what the library writes!! Or is it B...?
Fuck it is impossible to understand.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №70568
 25.09.2012
xxx: Ford - an off-the-go car, helped to avoid the detachment

YYY: Did she do a spell?and :)

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №70567
 25.09.2012
I’m programming, with my head at work. My wife comes into the kitchen and I say to her:
When you drink tea, call me.
I will not drink...
I think about myself: "Strange, the request is correct, and returned the error".

[ + 83 - ] [28 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70566
 25.09.2012
An atheist, like any other person, should have the right to call things by their own names. And if a dog nonsense is at the same time someone's religious beliefs, it does not cease to be a dog nonsense, and no one should infringe on my right to call this dog nonsense a dog nonsense.

[ + 46 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70565
 25.09.2012
Kaya
Listen to the story on Friday.

Kaya
The driver approaches me and says the computer is not on.
Well that they usually do not turn on, the monitor is not turned on or the power cable is gone.

Kaya
I'm going to watch - the truth doesn't turn on, the coolers make noise, and the bios doesn't start
I take out, I take out BP.

Kaya
I looked at 200 volt condensators that it was from below... type leaked - the mass of some

Kaya
I shrugged my finger, the mass moved.
Fuck it ?
Frog, 4 cm in length
Fuck all the dust.
The cow is alive.
In the sealed BP!

[ + 25 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70564
 25.09.2012
They say that the true signs of plebey are broad knowledge in the field of elite cars and a good acquaintance with the personal life of stars of the show business.
Now there are some funny jokes about the iPhone.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70563
 25.09.2012
The inscription in the transition: "Coy Fucked Coaxil"
Killed) I wanted to post "Cobain pulled the optical fiber")))

[ + 31 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70562
 25.09.2012
When school botanist Sasha walked out of school with classmate Voba and a sudden blow of wind hit the girl's shirt to his head, the boy only had a few seconds to realize that there are things much more interesting than chess and math.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №70561
 25.09.2012
From the discussion of an artificial tail with neural sensors on the hub:
Men are very strange animals, they even have a tail in front of them! The social network, of course, does not transmit anything, but the thoughts often display very and very unambiguously.

[ + 47 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70560
 25.09.2012
I hurt. The left hand was laid, I decided that when I was sneezing I would shut down the right and the left "will beat".

It didn’t help... Almost not deaf :(

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №70559
 25.09.2012
Marianne, I am in love!! to
Marina: No, sunny, in your case it is ovulation, because you fall in love every month with us only you))

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70558
 25.09.2012
I thought before the army that eight hours of sleep was not enough, and six was more than shit. And after the army, I think 6 is normal, and 8 is just obscure.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №70557
 25.09.2012
Yesterday, the seller in the store had a break in the program.
After a walk with the dog, the husband went for a ice cream. And he walks in crushed jeans and a crushed jacket that saw sights. Unbroken and unbroken.
Standing in the box with a basket, the seller has a boring look. Start with 20 packs of ice cream. As this boredom in the seller is replaced by expectation.
After breaking these 20 packs of ice cream, she asks him a fairy question:
"And where is the vodka?"

[ + 88 - ] Comment quote №70556
 25.09.2012
The wolf bought a shocker a month ago.
YYYYYYYYYYYY Why is he? Healthy Kids in Boxing
XXX is yes. He has already taken advantage of it!
XXX: How to use it? It has already been twice: the bull goes down to him, the bull begins. A few beats, the bead rolls, Vovan is like this: "A, yeah, I almost forgot!", it is also suitable for a shocker herrrrak!! to
YYY: ROFL
This is his fatality!! and ROFL

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №70555
 25.09.2012
From family life:
M: I don’t like this game.
J: What are you talking about?
M: Well why do you always get to break, and I only "break", "throw", "buy a new".

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №70554
 25.09.2012
The Daemon Reaps Dead Children.
YYY : M?
XXX: This is from the documentation
Example of Beautiful
YYY: A strange chat
xxx: not
YYY: Is it about closing down the fallen subsidiary processes by the demon?
xxx: and

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