bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №12906
 05.12.2008
I work in a shop that sells telescopes. I don’t think you need to explain how many fools try to see the stars through the shopping mall during the day. The ocular of the telescope was lubricated with a seal cartridge.....Now visitors come out with serious faces, correcting the monocle, especially gifted coming out in the image of a glass serpent....

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №12905
 05.12.2008
MoscowTM
I stand, I smoke in the yard. I am being called to repair the composts, I talk to him and I feel like the voice is duplicating behind the gates. I look carefully, the guy is talking to me. Well, I tell him that we are on the phone, we need to meet, that I teleport. I put on the phone and go out with the words, “Did we talk to you?” Fuck, I missed a little.

Nalya
and :D ))

MoscowTM
The most interesting thing is that he did not ask anything about it, only looked at me somewhat strangely.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №12904
 05.12.2008
Astrologers have declared 2009 as the Year of the Bull.
Gopnik doubled its population in all outer dwellings.
c) Networks

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №12903
 05.12.2008
The rats run out of the ship first, and the smart ones run out on time.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №12902
 05.12.2008
We have Zam. And the ships in the fleet are different... No, there are among them.

They are normal, literate men, but there are people like ours. Decided the castle

call your boss (most important) with a report and accidentally

I am wrong with one number. And falls on NEMSA (the chief

The electromechanical service. The dialogue follows:

Q: Sorry, this is the deputy v/h... I accidentally didn’t get there.

N: Well, once you have this part, tell me why you don’t have a boat.

is illuminated? (In the light of the PL)

It was very far from the material part. But very far away. by

What they answered:

I’ll talk to my dad and I’ll talk to him tomorrow.

At the end, they silenced, and after a second they put on the phone. Everyone who stood

I just cried nearby.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №12901
 05.12.2008
Only a Russian person can: get a pension, which is enough only for

grapefruit, scratch wood, prototype a straw at minus 30, beat away from neighbors

asking for money, filling the roof standing on one leg on the roof

with cracks and wind, refresh the closet, that is,

Wear the training pants we gave to the wedding.

85th, break the ice in the canes that are standing in the sinks to prepare

Indian tea for 10 p. pack, wash things in blue hands

the river-smell, again to go to the factory, which stood up 15 years ago,

to find out about the work, and the electricity has been turned off again, and the gas is still

Por is...

and!

After all this, with an enthusiasm watching TV show "The Last Hero", on

The so-called “stars” on a tropical island

Incredible difficulties have fallen, and deep concern for the heroes!

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №12900
 04.12.2008
Fuck, I’m not like people.
Yesterday I came home with my parents at work. We sat down, the knives looked, well, the guy stood, canches. I ate afterwards, I took him for a beer, I stood myself, my dishes.
After a while, I hear the keys in the castle, then he enters the hallway. and ORU:
Is he back, the wicked man?! to
Silence... I go into the hallway, and there, so shy at me, Daddy’s guy 0_o..

I have not been so red for a long time.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №12899
 04.12.2008
thx (13:42:32 26/11/2008)
gave up
whey (13:43:00 26/11/2008)
The analysis 😉
thx(13:43:03 26/11/2008)
The Exam! On the fourth!! to
Wicked(13:44:01 26/11/2008)
It’s my merit, I’ve cheated you all day))) What’s the subject?
thx (13:44:16 26/11/2008)
Physical Culture
Wicked (13:45:01 26/11/2008)
0 0 0
Blade... Pash I was a mother today so that the century did not ask, and you stumbled on the fourth course of the universe handed over the physique?
twelve (13:45:18 26/11/2008)
I was worried... it was hard to give up...
Wicked (13:46:10 26/11/2008)
I understand!! The main thing is now not over drawing and work.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №12898
 04.12.2008
“Do not shut my mouth!”! to
He: Do not talk to them.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №12897
 04.12.2008
From a woman’s point of view, love is a feeling. From a man’s point of view –

The process.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №12896
 04.12.2008
http://raketchik.livejournal.com/55397.html



Never talk to terrorists.



I talked with Roma Lahman. Already in apogee, somewhat unnoticed,

It was within walking distance of his home. Roma says

“Let’s go to me, I have somewhere there a tequila for a paddle.”



I did not want. Roma has a wife at home, Marinochka, big loud

A gorgeous man of bad temper. He calls Rome “Mr. Lohman” when

In the mood. When there is no “Lohman monster”. All friends are bombs, all

The girls are pale, and Roma herself is an irreparable mistake of her lost wife.

of youth.



Okay come here. In the corridor with a garbage bag. Lohman, throw it out

The rubbish.” Roma in response “Marinochko, how do you meet the guests?”

Not that anymore. And the arguments. Word for word, the Marinoch took "which

The guests, Lohman Go in the mirror and look at yourself!”



And we looked in the mirror, and passed into the kitchen quietly, sat down. Roma is

I got the tequila, the drink, the lemon. Marina Tequila from the table.

“Look, you are not tequila, alcoholics, bastards, fools, until the garbage is gone.

You will throw it out!” And thief in Romin very Jewish nose his very hollow.

The cookie.



And Rome is silent and looks at her sadly. The marine took it. The drunk...

Like the earth... and your friends... in the house with a ball... at least once

None of my dishes... no penny... look at what I am going in... nail to kill... one idiot

My mother said to me, “Finger on finger, how stupid I was.”



Rome is silent. And I too, of course. Everyone jumped, picked up that rubbish and

Every time, Rome quietly took me by the sleeve and sat back.

And Marinochka in one harry is hard to squeeze, and she is periodically upset.

He goes to Rome, “Why are you silent, shit? Nothing to say, right?

“Nothing?” and then on.



Rome is silent. Once again, the Marines threatened.

With a rhetorical question, “Why are you silent, shit? Nothing to say? Tell me

Anything, Jewish face!” Roma, looking at her with sad eyes,

He said, “Magician, you know that we, the Jews,

We do not conduct international peggogists. Take a tequila.”



He kept silent again, sitting in the refrigerator.



The right tactic brings the right outcome. In five minutes.

The terrorists reduced demands and partially released the hostages.



I do not remember further. I woke up the next day at home, in my bed.

At the other end of Moscow, tightly compressing a bag of garbage in Marinochkin’s hand.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №12895
 04.12.2008
Question to the Government:

What do you choose: inflation or full P-C?

and Kudrin:

We will not allow inflation.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №12894
 04.12.2008
Wife of husband:
How do you want to celebrate the New Year??? and fun? Or both of us? 😉

c) ZigFrid

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №12893
 04.12.2008
Soon in the world will live normally electricity Russia, China and India.
They are used to

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №12892
 04.12.2008
The Lord rewarded Basha!!! to
Here, after this quote, I am just convinced that you are not the one but the stupid fucking type of those who post such quotes and you miss them. Go and learn!! Everything is fucking!! to

The quote:
Recently, one guitarist at the rehearsal (with a hair corresponding) played and played, and his hair was shaken - they were stuck in his hammer (string holder). He started to run and scream for the guitar to be wiped out. Then the rope broke, he silenced and fell)))) Then all rotted for a long time))))))

Where did you, fucking shit, have seen the hammerhead hammerhead??? Where is??? Dumb to Dumb!! Maverick is to know the sound recorder!!! This is a sensor that removes the vibration of strings and takes it out into the sound range... it’s if you’re crazy!!! so that your dumb mosquito could learn this... well, even fucking would with this... but this is "running and screaming, so that the guitar will be wiped out"... this is a complete shit!

Death to Bachelor!! Death to the Brainless Idiots!! to

Odin, the cat-shredder, the blonde, the stucco, the odins of the basha are fucking... here is to go to the abyss!

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №12891
 03.12.2008
During the night, a guard dog was stolen from the guards.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №12890
 03.12.2008
My cousin, a kindergarten teacher, told me.
Feast "Hello, School" - The preparatory group demonstrates what they learned. Educators conduct various competitions, children read joyfully, believe that parents are pleased, in general, everyone is delighted.
The final contest - from the letters you need to collect the word "school". The children, indeed, were not told what it was for a word, so that everything went naturally. The children gathered the word, built up, read the final poems, teachers translate the spirit. And here in the room, among the parents are laughing, then a squeezed whistle. The teacher looks around the children, the scene and sees: in large, bright letters, the word "OLKAŠ" is displayed for general view.

[ + 125 - ] Comment quote №12889
 03.12.2008
Hi, I read a quote about the method of suicide and decided to count the living readers of Bash. Click the plug, it’s counting.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №12888
 03.12.2008
Weyland> People, how is the song called?
Weyland> There she sings in English, only one line in Russian
weyland> such: "Wodka find!" I honestly googled, not found!
Melvin> What can I do, fool! Smoking is done!
Melvin> In peace do you with your knowledge
melvin> Your bunny wrote, what the people went!! to

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №12887
 03.12.2008
It is bad when fortune turns back, but it is much worse when it turns back.

You turned around.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna