The word of a new convocation was elected. There were urks in the Duma, shuleraya...

xxx: And you have a movie that impressed you very much many years ago, and now having revised it, you have very doubted its masterpiece and you have a question, what could I like in it before?)



Yyy: I won’t say about movies, I usually do that with men.

You’re fired by a stuntless programmer who overthrew everything that could be overthrew.

Solomon’s decision is to hire a well-known company on the market to complete his product.

The company assures that the best managers and developers in your sector will work with you.

The project begins. My first meeting with Timothy. In the role of a super-popper timid, your fired programmer sits down with a cup of coffee and says:

Oh well hi.

Modern signs



A true sign of the end of the elections, the statement of the first deputy chairman of the Central Bank of Sweden, that it is too late to help pensioners.



© Dmitry Sviridov

Shark

Once in the USSR, I spent almost three summer months on an expedition in the steppes of Kyrgyzstan. There I had a little puppy.

Members of the expedition: drillers and geodesists, lived in square bresent soldier tents. We slept on iron soldiers' beds with springs in cotton sleeping bags with valves and with clamps-tailers-trees.

Workers were soldiers of the building in the number of ten people with a senior headed. They lived in a large ten-bed tent that even had windows. In case of bad weather, there was a stove in the tent. Every morning after breakfast, the people in two trucks traveled around the steppe. They were engaged in drilling wells, filming the terrain, and only by evening everyone was finally gathered in the tent camp. And so every day.

The puppy

Since we had two cars (GAZ-51 and ZIL-130), the people could afford on Saturday or Sunday to go to the nearest village to a club, where you could watch a movie, and then stay to dance. Our soldiers were especially pleased with this event.

And here, on one of the weekends, the desired people went by car to the village, and I went with a wheelchair to the arak, where the karashi were conducted. It was already dark when our travellers returned. In the hands of one of the soldiers, I saw a soldier’s panama, from which something white and eary came out. It turned out to be a cute little, white but dirty puppy.

It turned out that the puppy was asked by a hostess for me on the condition that it would be returned at the end of the summer. The puppy was dirty and flea, but we washed it with shampoo and it became clean and white. The fleas themselves died from this shampoo.

Sharrik

There was a thin puppy, but we put him on pleasure, and in a few days he wore off on a soldier’s sausage and canned so that he became like a round white ball. I called him Ball. Ballick turned out to be a good companion who painted the uniformity of the days, as well as a good guard who driven away from my tent all the vitality.

One day I heard his swirling loud voice near the entrance to the tent. I approach and see that it is he lying on the snake, jumping back every time the snake begins to whisper and try to bite him. I had to say the serpent kiss, and she stumbled. Shrek slept with me. Since the nights were cold, he walked up to me in the sleeping bag, and out there was only his black nose.

The summer season is over. It is time to go home. Over the summer, Shark grew up and no longer looked like a little puppy. As we did not make friends with him, I could not take him with me, I had to return him to his mistress.

Legs on Shoulders

So it happened that a few years later I got to the same village where we went to the club in the summer and from where I got the puppy Sharik. I walked around the village with my backpack, heading to the car, which was waiting for me on the outskirts, as I suddenly saw that from the nearest courtyard to me from all the feet carries a large dog. I only had time to think, “Well, all, the writer,” and she sticks my legs on my shoulders and begins to lick my face...

Ramzan Kadyrov won 99.7% of the votes. Who are those 0.3% of desperate brave people?! to

I was a student and very much liked a young teacher, three years older than me, just graduated from our university, beautiful, young and smart. I got a training program from the secretary of the rector and was ready for each class in advance. The teacher really liked that I was ready to talk to her on the topic of the class, between the couples agreed to meet in an informal setting and talk about the topic of the class and in general. We met a couple of times and she invited me home.

We drank a little, talked for five minutes and we were covered, I don’t even know I wanted her or she wanted me more, it was very hot. Already to the end, I put on a condom and knock on the bed:

Olga Alekseevna?

– and? ! to

Can I enter?

It was a long time, but the next day there was sex. I think he joked well)

Weather in Russia:



The United Russia won.

It feels like a falsification.

A friend asked for a week to shelter her dog, a small pudel with the proud name Henry, for the time of my stay replaced by Tuzik.
As my first teacher said, I love animals too, so I agreed.
But for the first few days, for insurance, I hired my daughter to stay with me, to look after Tuzik while I wasn’t home.
On the first day I come and a little off-highlight - the house is clearly clean. The floors are washed, the smoothing board with a bunch of clothes left by me is removed, the clothes are smoothed. I checked, there is no dust, the mirrors shine. In addition, smells come from the kitchen, that is, the daughter is cooking something there!
I even had time to get a little scared, thinking that she might have somehow grown big, because in normal life it was impossible to expect such body movements from her - either studying or clinging to the phone. And in the same way prepares a platform for the message of unpleasant news. Her response was this:
I will not be with this dog anymore. I sit in a chair with my phone - he jumps on me, feeds, cuddles, demands to play, climbs to slip in the face. I lie down on the couch - he stands up and begins to shake me with his leg, devoutly looking in the eyes. Impossible to delay! In the bathroom, I did not lift my hand. Well, right up, but he was so complaining that he let go.
After lunch, I stand my dishes – sitting quietly next to me and watching. As he sat down, he sat down again. I remembered that it was necessary to wash the shoes in which I came (I fell into dirt on the road), started to wash - again sitting silently looking. And so on: I do affairs, silently observes, I do nothing - is harassed. Well, in the end, before you came back, I found myself a class! But I will not sit here with Tuzik anymore!

The joy of the party of power over its “victory” at the “elections” is reminiscent of the joy of a man who did not even buy a diploma on higher education in the underground transition, but himself printed on the computer.

Well, what outrage must the people of "United Russia" do to get less than half the seats in the State Duma!

Blue - Flight Manager

His father was a well-deserved military pilot, who spent 35 calendar years flying fighters. Through this experience, he was able to see how the whole process was organized by flights and to appreciate all its charm.

Once I was a little surprised when I went into the kitchen and saw my father clinging to the window. In my understanding, in such a posture, so dying, the old grandmother could look in the window, suddenly seeing that the neighbor kisses with a stranger, but not the chief of flight of fighters.

Dad, what are you?

Dad turned to me, shrugged his hand, stood in the window again and said annoyingly:

All that, I was scared!

How to scare a kissing neighbor from the third floor window was not quite clear.

Not the neighbor! The baby feeds...

It’s easier now, but why hasn’t a sentimental military ever suddenly begun to grasp a bird-blue? My father explained why.

It is a pity not to deceive them.
Why nothing? We have an unsalted salad for burst refuelling – it is a delight for them.

Quickly cut off a piece, hanged on a rough thread behind the window...

Attack on salad

Do you know how fighter aircraft flights were organized in Soviet times (now,, in a different way)? A flight manager was appointed, usually from the most experienced pilots. The flights began with "weather reconnaissance" - flight by the head of the entire zone of the planned flights, that is, he himself checked under what conditions his subordinates would work. Then the leader sat down on the tower of the CPC (start command point) and began to really lead: to take off, to sit down, to the second round...

So, to the hanging hall first flew a large blue (let's call it conditionally No. 1). He swallowed once, another. “I don’t like it,” his father whispered. But no, the blue didn’t fly away, but sat not far off on a tree branch, a couple of meters above the shaft and crawled.

Immediately there appeared a piece of seven or eight bleaches, scattered on the branches below No. 1. Further, it went along the rope: the brown man No. 1 briefly whispered, the next brown man crashed from the branch, flew to the hall and cried. Another "chiric" - the dining blue girl returned to the branch, her place was taken by the next one. At some point next to No. 1 sat another blue woman, and No. 1 flew to the hall. Then the whole bunch of blueberries went away, the salt on the thread did not remain.

"The impression that they have carefully studied the instructions for the production of NPP flights," said the father with silent enthusiasm, "should be encouraged.

He bought a piece of saltless salt on the marketplace and hanged a piece out of the window every morning. Apparently, a spy barriered at the blue lights - the stack flew in a couple of minutes and arranged exemplary organized flights.

One day I came from work – Daddy shines like a charged samovar.

What happened?
- I got the fat, but here something in the newspaper attracted me - I began to read. Suddenly a knock in the glass: the blue man, the flight manager, sits and looks at me in a demanding way. I hanged the salad, she took the test and took the lead in her place. And the whole bunch was already sitting on the branches, but without the team, not a single girl even knocked.

Thanks to the Internet, a whole generation has grown up who has never gotten in the mouth for their words.

XXX: I talked so much about my ex on a date that I even missed her.

XXX: When I was a child, I opened and held a bunch of goats. When all the goats came out, the leader the last turned around and stuck me in a pulp. Two weeks was a huge bite. Since then, goose has been my favorite dish for the New Year.

A society is a structure in which members respect and take into account each other’s opinion and freedom, and a pyramidal hierarchy in which the upper layers fall to the lower layers is a cluster of wild monkeys.

We remember the heroes of our time.
In 1997 Morgan Stanley was hired by the chief security officer Rick Rescorl, who previously worked in the security service in the same building. The Bank occupied 22 floors in the second, Southern, tower of the World Trade Center, and Recorla spent the first half of his life serving in Vietnam, where he earned the Bronze Star, Silver Star and Purple Heart. In addition, Rescorla had an unusually acute sense of danger.
In 1990, he brought to New York an army friend, a counter-terrorist special and arranged him a tour of the towers. A friend said that if he were a terrorist, he would have entered the underground garage in a truck with explosives. Reskorla asked the administration of the VTC to secure the garage, but it was expected to be rented - expensive, well, and what truck with explosives, you what? When a truck with explosives entered the VTC garage in 1993, it was immediately clear which one. Since then, Rescorla has been in authority and entertained as much as he could. A nightmare business with fire exercises and all kinds of safety exercises. Oral when employees barely moved. I started to measure the speed of descent by a second meter. He prohibited obeying instructions from the administration of the center - only personally from him. Visitors were allowed to enter the office only with an accompaniment. The multi-storey building revealed the main problem: people from the upper floors always skip those below. As a result, they have much less time to escape, and the distance at the same time is more. Rick resolutely reinstructed the staff, insisting that the lower floors be patient. The head of the guard also forbade people to climb to the roof: always only go down. Always is. They hired the same super-qualified guards. Everyone was angry, of course, but he didn’t care positively.
Top managers could discuss a super-profit deal on their 73rd floor, and twenty seconds later jump in pairs down the fire ladder. And behind them, with these eyes, the customers with whom this deal was discussed jumped.
In the mid-1990s he generally recommended the bank to move its headquarters to a low-rise in New Jersey, but: "Rick, we have a rental term until 2006, what are you?"
On September 11, 2001, when the plane flew into the first tower, Rescorla ordered all Morgan Stanley staff to leave the building, despite the building administration's demands that everyone in the South Tower remain calm and stay in their seats. The staff were already able to find a fire exit and build in pairs, even without including the brain. The second plane crashed into the South Tower as Morgan Stanley employees were already descending the stairs. Recorred the oral alternately into the ration and into the megaphone first to command to direct, and then the native songs to encourage. “Everything will be fine. “Don’t forget,” he repeated, “you are Americans.” In the break between the songs, he called and said a few words to his wife, and then continued.
Before the tower collapsed, Rescorla took 2,677 people out of it. Then Rescorla began to climb up to help bring out those who were still in it (he did not count twelve people). The last time he was seen climbing the stairs in the area of the 10th floor, and after the collapse of the tower the body was not found.
On September 5, a few days before the terrorist attack, Rescorl wrote to his friend: "I have accepted the fact that I will have my whole life just poor events Milton's everyday weeds. A few more cups of mock-co in Starbucks, and each next one will seem less tasty.”

You have not seen what year on Putin’s clock.

I had to attend a vegan wedding at an Ayurvedic institution.

For the first time in my memory, the father of the bride did not pour a sling over the corner, but distributed a little bit of cottlets from the container.

We have our own small firm and we are not very lucky on accountants, they drink, they quietly write out extra hours to get more money. And here my niece 26 years, previously working in Sberra, gave birth to a second boy and is on maternity leave. Everyone is crying that it is hard to live and pay little, her husband is a collector in the bank and like how little he gets too. Well, my wife and I consulted and offered her to go to accounting courses, naturally at our expense and with the prospect of working with us in the firm. And whatever it was not an empty theory decided that let it come when the opportunity is and takes on the experience of our elderly accountant. So they began to live. There is another nuance here, her husband has a pen from his ass and with electronic technology he is on you. So if I had anything to fix or fix, they turned to me. The girl broke her phone. My wife and I consulted, bought my wife and accountant a new phone, and this lady gave her wife's smartphone, a year-old redmi note 4 and a corporate card. At the expense of their family budget. Time goes by and things move. The lady successfully passed the exams, planned to get out of the decree and go to work with us.Al she was so little involved in the process and we paid her a fixed salary.But there was a situation like me in which the lady, no matter what to copy and send the info from the phone, took and took a screenshot and sent it to my wife. Ordinary work time if not one but. The screenshot shows that my wife is recorded in her phone book as a “beast”. I was surprised and laughed at such a stupid act. Talked to the lady, it turns out we pay her little and demand a lot. As a result, the lady was asked to return the phone and the SIM card and stop communicating with us. refused to return. I threatened to tell her parents (very respected people) I refused.

and. I called her father and explained the situation. As it turned out later was that the lady seeing what amounts are passing through the firm and how much we spend on her family considered that we pay her little. This is a stupid situation. Forgive me, not the writer.