bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №19678
 27.08.2009
We sit with a friend on the bench, drink beer, near the road. And here comes the new beech of the sixth model and behind it is the...
From the speaker it is heard: "black mercedes immediately stop..."beha goes on "...black mercedes immediately press to the side..."bha slightly slowed but still goes on. If you hear another voice from the speaker "...this is BMW!!! It was..."

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №19677
 27.08.2009
The Kerry Cat:
I pressed the button and held it for a long time. Choosing with whom to talk. She ran through the list and I closed my eyes. I removed my finger and she stopped on you. :D

and Yasnij:
Yippidy yi yi yippity yay.

and Yasnij:
I put x** on the keyboard and led it from left to right and this is what happened.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №19676
 27.08.2009
The mind is limited by abilities, and stupidity is limited by possibilities.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №19675
 27.08.2009
He was served by one of his acquaintances in OMONE, once in the winter they were preparing to take someone there with a rack when transferring money. The transfer procedure was to take place in the woods outside the city, they worked on guidance, the place was known and positions were taken in advance. Negotiations were carried out, but on the roadside was number 4 (in a white mascara, filled with snow).
By night, the contact check is OK. They hear, a car is driving, but not into the forest on the road, but stops on the main road. After a while, a wild female scream is heard, the door is knocked and the car crashes abruptly. The commander of the group starts calling the fourth, but he is silent. Only a few minutes later 4 comes into contact, saying that everything is okay...
Already after the operation, the 4th told him that he was lying on the road, then the car stopped in front of him, a gorgeous tile in a nork coat came out of it and arranged to do the need right above his head. He said to her:
Girl, can you sit down?
This is the same scream that came out...

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №19674
 27.08.2009
Why does Putin have so many bodyguards?
Alone they are afraid of him.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №19673
 27.08.2009
She: I’m here before you, and you’re looking at my breasts.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №19672
 27.08.2009
Those who have played in Fallout 3 know that in the course of the game you can take three partners with you. This is a dog, a healthy mutant and a flying robot. I thought it was something very familiar... then it came out that it was a towel, a frightening and a iron woodcut.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №19671
 27.08.2009
From the magazine Chingizid:

In the flight hall of the Riga airport, the blonde model articles strictly, like the director of the school, said in a well-set voice to the phone: "Mommy, fuck! I am not having fun eating, but fucking sucking! That you have anything to suck except the fucking!"

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №19670
 27.08.2009
Our IT department is very happy when a security officer named Trajan comes to us for business.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №19669
 27.08.2009
The cat is not mine, he doesn't love me, but we go to the refrigerator at night together to eat.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №19668
 27.08.2009
I have a very cynical camera. He best photographs people in the Animals mode.

[ + 101 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №19667
 27.08.2009
I wrote on-line radio here, which broadcasts in MIDI (i.e. funny traffic and principle absence of voice). Especially to work under it, so as not to interfere and create a background.
But I won’t give the URL right away, otherwise I’ll get spam. Vote first whether you need it or not, and decide in this way yourself.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №19666
 27.08.2009
Rel@x (12:03:01 26/08/2009)
Michael Jackson is still buried.

brown12345 (12:03:17 26/08/2009)
Planned for three more seasons.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №19665
 26.08.2009
A friend from the 90s:

XX: Yes... I still remember how the first doom was cut...

YYY: Hernia, I still remember how DOOM first stormed!

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №19664
 26.08.2009
From the characteristics of the electric car: the buffer buffer of the electric car (type buffer at the train)) to make hard or from replaced removable metal sheets. On the existing beam there are remains from shattered people, which cannot be fixed, due to which the appearance of the electric car deteriorates.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №19663
 26.08.2009
[iDS]Lun: I see this picture on the beach:
[iDS]Lun: A five-year-old girl runs to her mom and says:
[iDS] Lun: Mom! Let us build a house of stones with you!! to
Lun: Mom: Well he’s on her! Go to Daddy Go to Daddy
[iDS]Lun: Dad sincerely surprised: What am I?? to
Lun: Mother: Did you go on the Day of the Builder? Go and build!! to

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №19662
 26.08.2009
A German came to the glorious town of Ternopil. I took a taxi to get to the hotel. It is not difficult to guess about the quality of the roads of Ternopil. And the German didn’t know...he asked the taxi driver why they had roads so bad and not being repaired. The taxi driver replied that these roads were bombed by the Germans during World War II, and therefore the government prohibits their repair, as these roads are considered a historical monument. So is it 😉 😉

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №19661
 26.08.2009
It afflicts and touches to the depths of my soul the care and ingenuity of my three-year-old spinoff.
We sit in the room in the evening, the wife is psychotic in connection with the unbearable behavior of the son and husband. Bringed to hysteria by our disobedience, she cried out to the child: “All! I am tired of you both! Nikita, pull the rope, I’ll go and hang myself! The emotions of the loved one go down, and Nikita runs away from the room to the neighborhood. A few minutes pass, everyone has already forgotten about this local conflict. We lie with my wife on the bed: “Where is Nikita?” and “Where is Nikita?” In response to her words, the enthusiastic child runs into the room, pulls a rope on the floor on the rope, serves the mother's wire.

...I did not find the rope, but found an alternative only to please my beloved mom=) the creative man is growing...=)
c) the grey

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №19660
 26.08.2009
I cooked dinner late in the evening and no one was at home. I left a note "Dinner on the plate. Andrew and Mom." and went to bed. In the morning, my mother tells me that she came hungry and nobody fed me. I am in shock. I see my note rolling in the kitchen. On it all the same, only <mama> sealed and signed "I ate everything".

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №19659
 26.08.2009
xxx (00:08:34 26/08/2009)
It is passive)))
yyy (00:09:30 26/08/2009)
You have your trousers 😉
yyy (00:13:39 26/08/2009)
preferably with content)
xxx (00:13:51 26/08/2009)
to abdicate?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna