bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №132779
 28.08.2016
Fuck, the wind is noble outside the window — and it’s as if someone is playing a term-vox loudly.
For an hour, I have been suffering from incomprehensible feelings - whether I want to cry, whether I want to cry, or if I want to go for beer.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №132778
 28.08.2016
My birthday is two days of drunkenness. I thought it was too late and I had to go to bed. Just add to the bed, there is a VK alert on the phone, an application to add to friends. I open and see the inscription: "Alcohol wants to be your friend 24 hours a day"... Really thought whitebox came...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №132777
 28.08.2016
Day of Russian Cinema
Read funny quotes from movies.

Rochefort, close out of all French ports.
And the entrances, Monsignor?
It is genius.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №132776
 28.08.2016
Dictator’s reserve on the ipodrome. He announces the name of the Joker and the name of the horse.

The name of the horse is Self (with the emphasis on the first slang).
And the dictator emphasized the second, and the whole field sounds:

Jokey Ivanov is on his own.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №132775
 28.08.2016
Video: South Korean or North Korean?
South of course. Where is the phone with the camera?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №132774
 28.08.2016
I’m not against women in burkini on the beach. But I am against their men there. I do not know why.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №132773
 28.08.2016
I went to visit my neighbors in Dacia. We sat down at the table, laid a shale, eaten. Suddenly a voice from the back:
We have eaten, and you have just stopped.
With a little hurry, I ask:
Uncle, are you me?
He was talking to his cat.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №132772
 28.08.2016
Written by DMS. The contract states that "in the event of an insurance incident the owner must contact the 24-hour dispatcher service".
Oh well ok.
Insurance has arrived. I call.
"Hello to you! Called in non-working hours. Leave a message after the signal..."

C - Service

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №132771
 28.08.2016
Fantastic, Fantastic...
I went here in the summer to the neighboring city for a day on carousels to ride (there are no normal people in the city). We go to the park and there are carousels. One falls sharply from the top down, the second, turns differently and moves at speed, the third turns up with the legs... The eyes run out. And on those carousels people are riding. And nobody whispers. And their faces that flash, stone, no smile. Who are these people?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №132770
 27.08.2016
I have a tradition. For two years, on the same day, I ride a bus, walk on the street, looking at passers with interest. And all because the day before my insurance ends, which I safely forget every year >_<

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №132769
 27.08.2016
Canakau: animals are with or without a tail
Diamond: There is another snake - it is a tail without an animal

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №132768
 27.08.2016
The sound of the perforator can silence a lot. For example, shooting from low-caliber weapons or a confidential conversation. So if you are constantly drilled nearby without a special reason, then there is something happening that strangers do not need to know about.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №132767
 27.08.2016
Recently I had a haircut: I made a scarf and cares just above my shoulder. I used to call it ‘cut me off’ under Turman’s mind, but I stopped after a young barber said, ‘These are two men... with beards...’.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №132766
 27.08.2016
Yesterday before bed I watched the cartoon of the pilot studio. The question that smoked the author is not at all relevant. There is obviously something heavier. acid is nuclear. But I liked one piece. Description: It is a mammoth. Snow bulbs are stealing to the mammoths. From there, humans come out and throw on the mammoth, cut off all the wool and jump. Mammoth freezes and fades. Top of the feet. Humans drag a mammoth into a cave and there... no, they don’t eat! They swallow him! It is used as a balloon by throwing a grid on it and attaching a basket. but. Something went wrong and the mammoth shrugged - opened his eyes. Then a small interlude with pink crawling elephants and we return to our mammoth: pink elephants are surprised to observe this picture: a mammoth flying in the sky, sitting in a basket, and instead of balls - inflated people. The pink elephant is back and over. How to you?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №132765
 27.08.2016
Love is when you are ready to spend all the time together, you want to know her as well as you can, you are ready to accept her shortcomings, sometimes you get angry with her, but then everything comes back and forgives, starting from the beginning and from the place where you stopped. This is love, do you know who I am about?
You and Masha?
I am about you and Gentoo

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №132764
 27.08.2016
Prehistory: the apartment is prepared for the painting of the floor in the corridor, all the shoes and a cozy soft tabouret are removed.
Dad called the home phone, I opened both doors and went to the kitchen. From the hallway, he asks, “Where is my favorite taburet?”
I, with an offended voice, said, “I thought there would be the word ‘DOTHER’!”! to

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №132763
 27.08.2016
A friend, girl, the first week after vacation. My friend and I go for lunch.
They leave the office and go to the car. The car owner removes the alarm, opens the door, sits down. The passenger seat. He sits. Something is waiting...
“Natasha, maybe you’re still driving?”
Oh thee! It is true! ?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №132762
 27.08.2016
The JSLint license is a derivative of the MIT license. The only modification is to add the phrase "Software should be used for Good, not for Evil."

According to the Free Software Foundation, this phrase makes the license unfree. Also because of this phrase, JSLint was unable to accommodate on Google Code and could not get into the repository of Debian free software. Because of this restriction, according to the author, IBM asked Astor to give them a license to do evil so that buyers could use the program.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №132761
 27.08.2016
I went to the bookstore yesterday. There was a large and beautiful cookbook called The Economy with Jamie. 120 delicious and inexpensive dishes. It costs about 3 thousand rubles.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №132760
 27.08.2016
Those who repaired the road themselves were fined.

An attempt to cope with one problem was prevented by another.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna