"Steven Seagal in an informal setting tried the carrots of Alexander Lukashenko".

Am... Well, I don’t know what to say. What did you think?

This story happened to my classmate’s father. He was a strong man, of high height. (Unfortunately he is dead. It is time to get the bull in the winter. For this purpose, he had a special stumb in his garden, to which he was bound to a cow, or to a bull a rope behind the horns, and with a blow of a squad on his head he rolled to the ground, after which he cut his throat. He did not want to call anyone to such activities, he always did it himself. So this time everything went according to plan, a rope was tied and a crushing blow was inflicted on the head. The bull began to fall, the rope stretched, the pillar of sight crushed and fell with the bull straight to his head. They both lost consciousness. The first thing he told me when I woke up, thank God, I first came to his consciousness.

There is a man in the village named Cancer. And when I was 6 I heard the phrase "when cancer whispers on the mountain." Well, of course, I took it seriously, and began to get him to go with me to the mountain and whisper. And he went! And you know what happened next? Then there was mysticism.

Our neighbor-alcoholic coded, I found 100 rubles, and my friend's parents bought a big one. Then I believed in magic.

– You wrote in your resume that you are a vegan and you run in the morning.

I’m vegan and run in the morning.

But we didn’t even ask you to send a resume.

"Russian landers refused to complete the Zenit Arena".

We break the bricks, not lay them.

by habr:
xxx: If the DDR4 memory is heated very poorly then why do you need a radiator at all, especially since "the contact spot with the thermal pad is incomplete and part of it hangs in emptiness"?
YYY: Because an ordinary grind can’t cost $8, and a croton can.

Once I was drunk...
by Admin Pidaras!

When I was a young employee of a major research institute, a senior fellow, whom I respected, came to me one day and said, “Listen, there’s such a steep iron in your working compass! What computer do you have at home? I speak, say, generations of 2 older (type I had at home was 386, and at work pentium). The companion said, “So you don’t take advantage of such a wonderful opportunity! Change the iron from a working compass to a home compass, no one will notice it.” Well, I left for sight, myself a little wondering about myself such a holy simplicity of a colleague. And two weeks later, a very big boss comes with a bunch of manuals and checks and, looking at me with contempt, dismantles my working computer and starts checking the marks and serial numbers. Then much more humbly he gathers the computer back and, without looking me in the eyes, silently leaves. What is amazing in this story? The fact that I compared these events only 10 years later coincidentally recalling those times. And until then I thought that it was very easy and beautiful to get into the collective, and what all around decent people.

In the subway, a man asked me:
What number today?
- 25th
And yesterday?

I don’t see prospects.
Do not use a condom.

HH: By the way, about jumping. They checked the parachutes, came to the field, dropped the draw, who in what order jumped. Those in the first step have already fixed the suspension systems on themselves. And then the evil agronom got stuck: "Come out of here, your plane is scaring our cows!" and then in the plane the tank flowed. Everything is postponed for an unknown time. This is the wickedness (
Wow: I would be afraid to fly on such an airplane... and the agronom should have been on the roof.)
HH: I wanted to do that. But the air club in this case lied: they agreed with the agronom last year, and this year he changed. But fucking how this uncle was upset when we turned around.
Who said he was an agronom?
HHH : He is. Does it make sense to pretend? In addition, he talked so passionately about cows that it was hard not to believe x)

xxx: Our football team should be trained by the boxing team.

yyy: Or by artistic gymnastics))

xxx: Well you, can a gymnast properly break in the roof?

Cats raised without ELT monitors.
For example, I sleep happily on a laser printer.
It’s really unhappy when the paper begins to climb from the bottom :)

I cleaned an aquarium with cychlosomes. One fish was slightly pulled by a stream of water. Despite the fact that the fish allegedly had a ten-second memory, the entire next week when feeding it jumped out of the water and stuck in the fingers. Eventually, she sailed solemnly with a bite.

If the atmosphere of lies is notined on the backstones of overwhelmed propaganda, it itself will collapse under the light breath of common sense, which is founded in every person.

We had a new guy at work in Kosovo (bought at a fair). Heat, he sat on the floor under the air conditioner, sitting in a relaxed posture, the corner is stretched, looking for something in the book. The boss comes in, looks at him, says:
- You sit here like a shepherd right on the pasture, only a knot is missing.
that :
Why is it missing? He shows his book. Author – Knut, “The Art of Programming”.

I decided to explain to the children what democracy is and let them vote for what we’re going to eat. They chose ice cream.
I got a borst. Because we live in Russia.

“Our cat, who eats on sausages, let your mouth shake, let the kingdom of your laziness come, let your sausage be on the table and under the bed, and our valerian must be poured out into our bowl, and let us have the housekeepers, as we pour out our souls there, and let us not enter the basement without mice, but save us from the squid, as your murmy is for ever and ever. and Amen.

Previously you switch the channels to TV-one Gosha Kuzhenko, you switch one Nagiev, as if we had no hairy actors.

I took my nephew from the garden. We rushed home, and suddenly he, raising his hands up, shouted, “Ura! Soon is the weekend!" Judging by joy, a flight to Egypt is scheduled for the weekend, no less. I was very interested and asked "What are you going to do this weekend". The nephew, continuing to rejoice: "Nothing!"