She: I was asked by a student today about bad habits :-D It was so strenuous!
I: Type, do you have it?
I: I... what did you answer?
She said no, where to go.
It is not good for children to lie.
She: Well what had to be done?
I: You can answer something in the spirit: “I listen to METAL and pray to the Gods of the Great Night!”
She: by the way, after that, a drunken uncle approached us and asked where the rock bar is "Podval" :-D
I: You "did not know"...
She: No, I explained :-D The boy said nothing)

Father: I stole grain when I was 13 years old...and you! Playing in Dota

And I, you can imagine, have been rejected twice in the meeting under the pretext that I am too competent for the guy to write, which means - I try to show myself better than I really am.

O.O

An online translator gave me a translation of one recipe:
1 sandstone
150 grams of white branches
200 grams of Swiss cheese
200 grams of smoked slices of salt.
I could not read further.)

xxx: it seems to me that the entire channel of NTV, as such, need to hang the label "18+"?

You know, the Constitution is interesting to read.
Well, utopia is not a bad genre.

I realized that we were living well when I realized that we had an iPad in the toilet to read.

I sit in an apartment on the eighth floor, I hear from the street: apchi... apchi... apchi... apchi... god, when it ends... apchi!

Group of VK. A guy who really loves his girlfriend doesn’t need to stretch the buttons on her shirt to see her heart better.

The first comment delivered: wash, you need to either make ultrasound or cut :)

The more a person is given, the more he is strengthened in the thought of justice.

Today I was a witness to the work of our brave police.
On the platform of the subway runs a guy with a cage in his hands. Behind him is a decent man in a suit (evidently the owner of this case). On the platform, law enforcement guards walk in the face of four police officers and a dog.
The guy running past them with the case, apparently, assessing the confusion on the faces of the police and trying to help the latter understand the situation, screams on the run: "Hold the thief," pointing his hand to the side of the pursuit.
What would you think? They arrested him! Man in costume!
But most of all in this situation, for some reason, I regret not the man who lost the case.
Sadly the service dog, the only one who correctly assessed the situation and was already rushed into the pursuit, but stopped by the elder at the title with the scream "Stand, you are a stupid animal."

Do you have an honest, good accountant?
Yes, but he still has two years to sit.

Alcohol was invented by man... chicken was invented by man... and sex is nature... so we will love nature :)

XXX: Leha is on vacation, I am on a replacement
xxx: on his desktop doc lies: Mystics and anal delights.doc
XXX: I didn’t even open it.

What I do use Windows is increasingly reminiscent of the old Mortal Kombat.
WOW : Why?
xxx: Here too, pressed some key combination by chance - hop, on the screen some interesting action, and then you try to find a way to make it happen again...

From the discussion of a camera without an AA filter:
- You understand, there is no anti-alias filter in my camera, so the clothes in the photo cause a strong muar.
What is?
Take the cowards.

My acquaintance here has recently been robbed, through the construction forests, into the open window of the 5th floor lodge, broke the plastic balcony door, overturned everything in the apartment and stole a turtle from the aquarium, Greenpeace.

A popular sign: If an employee begins to accumulate a bunch of CDs/DVDs nearby, he is about to be fired.

I don’t drink anymore... worse!
YYY: What is it?
I came back from work on Friday... tired – like a dog. She decided to stay at home, took a shower, dive under the blanket and drank a whole bottle of cognac.
YYY: And what then?
XXX: I was then seen in three restaurants... in that blanket.

I work at one of the universities of Yekaterinburg. After morning coffee, I decided to go to the coffee shop. I sit and don’t touch anyone. Two students come in. The silence smokes. One minute later he suddenly says:
Nuts at M&M’s are delicious.
The second with a sad look:
Aaaah...
Both are hard breathing, docking, and going away (silent).
O_O