bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87105
 17.09.2013
I have not smoked for 4 years.
He cleansed the lungs.
He suddenly came under the tram.
What a western.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №87104
 17.09.2013
by Laura Beloyvan:

I have a frog, a crown, seven cats, four dogs, fish, turtles, two big ones and my own room. Finally it came, my happy childhood.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №87103
 17.09.2013
The child (3th grade) was asked to write a piece about how she helps mom and dad at home (for each 5 lines of text). Half an hour later he goes, reads five lines about his mother and three lines about his dad; asks his mother to help him come up with two more about his dad, which his mother concludes: he does nothing at home for five lines.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №87102
 17.09.2013
At work before lunch I dug in it from the very morning, in the afternoon came a colleague, for lunch to change me. When I got back, he cracked, apparently, 20 minutes exactly. And he asks me a brilliant question, to which I myself still cannot answer:
"You, how did you get from the Pelmen to the Ku Klux Klan?" :D

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №87101
 17.09.2013
and autumn. It is hard to force yourself to go to training. A friend advised:
Ginseng fucking) and phosphorus... will stand and shine)

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №87100
 17.09.2013
A man was walking in the city with a gasoline.
He treated the rabbit.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №87099
 17.09.2013
xxx: I rolled a glue gun here, it got hot, and when I pressed on the hook he said to the grandmother, left black traces on his hand and quieted. I did something wrong, or did he?
Yyy: Congratulations, you managed to shoot from a glue gun. Chuck is proud of you.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №87098
 17.09.2013
Comments on the film
The movie is good, but I didn’t like it.
The movie is great, but I didn’t watch it.
Is it so good that it can’t be pushed?
I haven’t seen anything better in a long time!!And this has not become...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №87097
 17.09.2013

I stand somewhere with my boyfriend waiting for the elevator on the first floor.
A grandmother and an eagle rush:
Don’t get in the elevator!! I recognized you!! Everyone walks here, and then the elevator breaks! You have bad energy!! to

There is no ghost patrol on you, dead fools! and :)

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №87096
 17.09.2013
Corporate assets of one large company:

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Raymond writes to me.
Previously approved loan for 365tr with a rate of 16.9

Oh, they sent me too...
274 thousand today.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh They trust me more :P
You disappointed them!

No, not me, I see the SP.

HHH: Your ZP is upset by Rajfaizen :D

I’m not just upset by the RPG, I’m upset by the RPG as well.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №87095
 17.09.2013
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
In the winter, so that it does not ruin. Then put back.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №87094
 17.09.2013
Now note that when you create a blog post on Google+, it instantly gets four views. Views from America. Well, one look at it is me, and the other three are apparently the CIA, the NSA and the FBI.

I am glad that I am in direct contact with such organizations.)
I can always say something to them. I just don’t know how to listen.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №87093
 17.09.2013
Comment on age-related changes in vision and the inability to read small fonts on packages:

In fact, the "discovery" came after I couldn’t read the instructions for hair paint, which 100% paints gray :)))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №87092
 16.09.2013
a familiar laptop with 8k, the disk is not split and there is a folder "type disk:D"

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87091
 16.09.2013
Like <Zoi>, <koi-8>, <walek[away]>, <Kuno_> and many others, you have made my youth more beautiful. I quote you!

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №87090
 16.09.2013
If the programmer is not lucky with the girls, it is primarily due to the face of the crater-like surface of Mars in its worst years, fatty hair, sandals above the socks and sweaty armpits.
You put the socks over the sandals!

[ + 68 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87089
 16.09.2013
I met with a friend at home on Friday. He learned that I love animals and took me to the zoo on Sunday. It was great, I ate sweet cotton, he enthusiastically told me about life... and did not notice the surprised looks of the staff of the zoo.. in which I work as a veterinarian 5 days a week...

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №87088
 16.09.2013
On the street today. In the back were two retirees, naturally, complaining about the children: "My loser is what! Married - divorced, married the second time - divorced, divorced the third time! I tell him—your mother was a real wife—washing, cleaning, cooking, repairing my house! And he’s not, daddy, she’s my favorite woman, I’ll hire people to do repairs.”
And indeed a loser.)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №87087
 16.09.2013
The solution to the chemical weapons problem in Syria will require about $150 million.

For the sake of peace on earth, it can be printed.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №87086
 16.09.2013
The level of health of the student is determined by the compass standing near his university.

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