ArkDoom: There are three things that can’t be stopped: a tsunami, diarrhea, and text messages sent to the wrong address.

Prepod at a lecture seeks an assistant, chooses one student and asks him:
Do you have anything but a member and a keyboard in your hands?
and yes.
You will also be able to switch slides.

He accidentally poured a glass of red wine at home on the girl, immediately boiled, ran to the bathroom, threw the white shirt into the washing machine and poured everything in vanish for COLORED LINES!
Why not for white?! to
They are so colorful!!! to
I: O_o

Fascism will not pass!! to
This will never happen in this country. He was, is and will be.

As I went down the stairs, I heard a conversation between the welder (C) and the master (M).

C: I don’t need this switch here.
M: Why is it not needed?
C: Because you don’t need a nausea!

xxxx: You accidentally don’t want to beat the tech block on the game I’m going to do in mid-August 2011?
YYY: You know, I’m afraid to upset you, but now it’s September 2011...

As practice has shown, if you put a cucumbers in a bowl with cherry strawberries, it acquires the taste of watermelon.

I read today in the news: “6 million people in the southwestern U.S. have been left without electricity due to a mistake by an employee at a power plant in Umeå, Arizona.

First thought: Homer Simpson, as always, in his repertoire.

XXX: You have done it! The second avas on the carpet. Maybe a jump.
YYY: I’m not shrinking in the background. The most important thing is that we recognize it on the photo, and the rest somehow by the side.
xxx: cuddling... well, it is also the same as pulling out of the sleepy fuck a two-casset, going with him on the street and bodrice and considering yourself cool. murderously
...
X: Was he hurt? Relax, I am not offended. I’m sure you’re in the AVI, you decide.
YYY: No, I was not offended. You just gave me the idea. I’m digging in anthrosols, there’s actually a double cascade somewhere. I just wanted to get rich :)
xxx: :facepalm

Physicist: Well tell us, Michael, what are the fields?
Hm... the corn?

I want a chocolate, a huge red cat and fuck!! to

I stood smoking on the balcony, the kids in the yard playing Harry Potter:
The Abruz Cadabrus! by Pszcz
Ladies and gentlemen, Ladus Kalinus! Grandma
This is a forbidden shit!

Yesterday I was at the bar. I ordered 9.5 kg of popcorn at the nearest theater. When he was ready, I went with another guy. They guessed the whole popcorn to spit into two huge garbage bags (40 liters). And now imagine the picture: there are two healthy young guys with garbage bags, sometimes they stop and eat out of these bags.

The only stability I’m sure of is that my cat will come to the kitchen in the morning and demand his share of the sausage.

I just heard someone sneezing in the street. Reflectively shouted:"Be healthy!" Answer "Thank you, the shock" made me very happy.

All for the exhumation of potatoes! Hurra comrades!

zzzzz:Guess the puzzle "The red head climbs into the hole"
Fuck, I know the guess.
ZZZZZ: The Thief
Yyyyy: I know the guess, but I can’t remember.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! to
Yyyyy: Well so what is it???? to
zzzzz:That’s what you’re doing!!!! to

I apologize in advance for the annoying shit.
Marina Hysamova, please forgive me for all my nonsense that I have done. I am a complete fool. I want to go back in time, change everything. I know, now I don’t need a drop of you, you don’t care, I’m the fault of it all. But I need you, I need you, fuck you like air!
I love you very much.

I apologize again, dear brothers. Everyone is happy and, most importantly, love :)

Having a girl is like having a puppy. We need to walk with her, feed her, spend time with her.
Sometimes throw a stick.

Today in the pool I heard a delightful dialogue between a 8-year-old boy and his father:
Why are only girls taking synchronous swimming?
Because it is a female sport.
Why is?
“Well, imagine my hairy curved legs above the water – it’s not aesthetic!