Advertising in transportation is sometimes very even a topic. In Kiev, trolley buses with advertising of the magazine "ROBOT". On the body - a logo, and on the windows opposite seats, like in comics, clouds are glued with the "thoughts" of passengers about work.
So here I stand early Sunday morning at the stop all asleep. And in front of me stops a trailer, in the window of which I see a happy rod of mint in a furage, which smiled on everyone, and next to him a cloud: "Ura!!! I got to work!!..."
The people at the stop also smiled.

Grandfather: And they said on the radio that our president has fleas.
I am 0_o?? to
Grandfather: So they said: you can watch the video of the flea of Medvedev.

Where are you, admin accountant? Come and end the enmity!

The first day of driving in the automotive school on jigguli-lost the letter "U",falled speed meter and side mirror, two right caps, thought the roads are bad, the instructor said that if I was a scuco Albanian not come here anymore...

If you are reading Abyss, it is really time for you to change something in your life.

A bad man is an intelligent man who is well adapted to life.

It was in 1990. I served in the Church—where else to go after the philosophy faculty—and left the house early in the morning to sing before the liturgy began. There was a haircut on the sidewalk of the neighbor’s house. Large and incredibly, blindingly beautiful. A small graceful head, smooth flat wings, arrow-like wings - neither to give nor to take a fighter.
He lay down and tossed his cloth, as if he wanted to say something. The look is completely defenseless. He remembered that his cloth was so wide opened - as if the head was divided in half, into two equal parts. The hair looks perfectly healthy. I did not want to take off. Maybe his wing is broken? Looking at the wings, I don’t think.

I brought him home. And I had a cat, Boyan, a cool one - picked up at the time at the Yaroslavl station. The understanding between us was extraordinary. I lived, I could say, in the soul. I’ve always been like that with cats.
The cat met already at the doorstep, as if he knew everything in advance, with a characteristic face and with the most convincing murmuring: "Well, we're going to eat, right, Behemot? I know you brought something very tasty...” I locked the bird in the kitchen, in a box under my shoes. I put it high up to the refrigerator. The cat walked around in circles, mourning and mourning, in sight - and death sorrow, and hope for future happiness. He was sitting at the door until I returned. The love!

After the liturgy there was, as always, a panic, then a wedding, he was released only at 4 a.m. He picked up a box with a bird and went to the MSU, to the biofac, to the ornithology department. Nothing else could have come up with.
In addition, I have a best friend working at this school. Well, and in love with one biology at the time was very strong. On biofakes in general study very interesting and the most romantic girls, have written about it many times. The nostalgia...

I open the door to the chapel. Sitting classical such professors - old, wise, in worn jackets, all like one with huge gray beards.
They drink tea – small dishes, some cookies, old silver glasses... I go in, I greet you. I said, “Could you look at it?” I open the box.

The professors began to examine the bird with unfailing interest. Everyone got stuck in her. And with such, you know, untransmitted intellectual pronounce, just like in the old movie, they say, "Miserable lord, this is your haircut! A beautiful copy. Such an offended... Where did you find him, honourable?” You won’t understand why, but I was incredibly proud, as if I had fed a refined beast.

This was discovered. The hair is a very aristocratic bird. He does not walk on the ground at all - sleeping on the tallest trees or under the roofs of houses.
When you need to fly, he throws down, takes a decent move, and only then begins to move his wings. The minimum speed is 50 km per hour, the maximum is 140-150, the cruiser is about 100. Consumption of fuel...
Drinks only on the flight - descends on the brewing flight over the surface of the water, plunges into it the lower part of the clove, and the water with a thin jet itself flies into the esophagus. In the flight and feeds - at full speed breaks the clove widely, and the mosquito gets directly into the esophagus. The haircut itself cannot be fed - it has no swallowing muscles, it needs a long and very thin pincet to send each insect directly to the stomach. One of the professors feeding his hair for several months, the difficulties were incredible. In the city to live such a bird is difficult - a lot of wires, at high speed is not always able to react. Therefore, the hair is sometimes found on the ground.

I was told there was nothing to lose anymore. The metabolism at the haircut is so fast, food needs a lot (due to the constant energy consumption for the flight) that in a few hours he will begin to die of hunger - because from the early morning nothing has been eaten. "You know," said one of the professors, with the same untransmitted voice, "and he will fly from you. Yes, the merciful Lord. He must definitely fly. The bird is quite healthy, the eyes are not sick, the feathers are good, the bones and wings are all whole. Get up to a high building and throw it down. There is no other way - he will soon die of hunger, you will still not be able to feed him on your own."

Said is done. I went up to the last floor of the Humbak and opened a huge window in the same auditorium where we recently held seminars on scientific atheism. The beauty. A sunny, cloudless day, on the left is the crowd of the Main Building of the MSU, right in front of me - a beautiful park stretching to the Vorobyovy Mountains. My native eighth dining room far away... I crossed the shaft, and, with a hidden heart, threw it into the air, hoping for the best. Instead, the stone cut went down, straight to the asphalt. I watched with horror how he was now breaking down – as if eleven floors high the building... However, directly in front of the ground, literally a few meters away, the shaft quickly swung with its wings, made a very beautiful manoeuvre, leveled, and flew somewhere in the direction of the Moscow river, rapidly gaining height. He flew quickly and immediately disappeared from his eyes.

I think he hit the wire in the morning when he was performing another figure of the top pilot. I forgot about it all, pursuing another mouse.
The height was low, the speed immediately fell, he could not fix the flight, so he remained lying on the ground. The first cat.

English commentators took a month to get used to the name
Arshavin (the arshaving of the shaving of the ass). And it will take two more to get along with the name Zhirkov (jérk offf "masturbating")

Salomey –
He was cleaning up and found an old school diary. The comments... stumbled.

and Foxxy:
and ROFL:

Salomey –
Especially delighted in front of the liters "Drained into the drawing of the comrade!"

I now have someone under the window with a drunk voice singing "by the hard-yams"...
I live in Central Africa.

He: Dear, will I take you home?
I am immortal, I am immortal.

Channel Discovery, broadcast "Mountaineering disasters", story about American sailors during the Second World War, speaker after frame: "American ships attack EXPERIENT pilots-kamikaze"

In addition to one eternal female problem – “I have nothing to wear!” and “I have nothing to put on my avatar!”and "

“Dear, I need a thousand ten for my shoes...I exaggerated or underestimated, what do you think?
She shrugged!

Nokia and Microsoft Join
The shit of Nokia.

If a general praises his subordinates, it means that he is being filmed by television.

<Panda> And also, girl4ka Zhenya, puts instead of the letter "the" the number "four". This is actually a bad habit.
<Joy> for the second time?)
<Panda> because those who put numbers instead of letters will be blinded and their hair will grow on their palms)
<Joy> about horror
<Panda> look at the palms, you already see the hair?
<Joy> no
<Panda> and this is because the vision has already begun to spoil.

How about a good car?

He: Well, I buy - I drive, as I get the right. If you behave well :D

She: And if I behave badly, will you drive before you get the rights?

Maradona considers the Russian national team one of the best in the world

The old man gave up his mind to drugs.

He took his wife out of work.
She did not see the village.
We have a mindset (M). I go out.
M: Not attached, the penalty!
I: picture or video show (we now have it according to the rules in Kazakhstan).
M: What is unconscious? that is. He has no niche, no photo or video.
I: No (I swear 500 dollars)
M: I have thought. and breathing.
M: I don’t like the smell. I will have to go for an examination. * Returns the money
According to our rules: If the assumptions of the employee of the automotive inspection did not confirm, the driver has the right to write an application for reimbursement by the auto inspector of the amount of the fine (in this case for alcohol 12 000 money)
I: If I am clean, I will make a statement to you.
M: These are our problems.
I went, gave the analysis, clean.
I: Titles, FIO, No Battalion, I will make a statement
I forgive you the belt. Why do you do so?
Give me 500 dollars for gasoline.
Now I am proud to go.))) from the mint bribes removed )))