bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №70153
 17.09.2012
Comments on "You are me, I am you. What is in iOS 6 taken from smartphones on Android?":
Alexbal: C How long does the Android take pictures in Panorama mode? Why I don’t have that function.
ALEXBAL: Really, I didn’t know about it until today.
Vitaly Mazurchik: How interesting. because of the presentation of Apple many Android users have learned a lot of chips that they have had for a long time =)

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №70152
 17.09.2012
The bus driver, who stood at the stop for a long time, the old lady of God, who hysterically shouted, “Touch!” and the driver’s answer, “Happily I’m touching!” put the whole bus and made my day :)

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №70151
 17.09.2012
Per it was reckless at the German customs on the question: "Occupation?" to answer: "No, that was enough in 45".
© Paul Phönixweiß

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70150
 17.09.2012
I suddenly realized that the opposition in Russia is like a crowd of self-made game designers. Everyone is a genius and knows exactly what he wants. But when you ask the concrete, you hear the answer - "well this... there are still crowns to steal..."

[ + 13 - ] Comment quote №70149
 17.09.2012
We go to bed with him yesterday, he is already dressed and lies under the blanket.
I'm not sleeping, I'm sitting on my phone.
Then I also dress up, go to bed, hug him, look at him, and he is already camouflaged. I hold my hand on him, I know he’s naked. What are you without cowards? And he’s in half a dream: no, he’s a coward. I guess, I say, what kind of material are they made of, absolutely intangible? And he is so reluctant, turning to the other side, skin!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №70148
 17.09.2012
Lectures in the Stream of Applied Mathematics
Prepod: Well what is "Norm Law"?
Students: Root from a scalar work of law on associated law

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №70147
 17.09.2012
Most girls are looking for a guy who would make them laugh but at the same time could protect them. In other words, they need a clown ninja.
I don’t know if I’m a clown or a ninja.
xxx: I think he’s something middle, sambist-my)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №70146
 17.09.2012
Loisha: About black holes and crocodile holes is in the book I gave you.
Natasha: Yes, I won’t get it all right.
PS: The year has passed.
Natasha: at home no time... and in the subway stops... when the cover is seen.
I forgot you are beautiful :)
Natasha: You have stumbled on me (I’ll stumble on you)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №70145
 17.09.2012
From nothern_wind:
“Normally, everything worked,” a colleague is outraged, “and then everyone put a piece of their soul into the code, and they got a loan!!!”and "

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №70144
 17.09.2012
We sit in a movie at the "Hološtyački" and there is a moment when a guy throws an iPhone out of the window, then out of the hall:
It was the fifth day yesterday :)

[ + 47 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70143
 17.09.2012
Sagot: In Ukraine, especially in Kiev, there is now such an interesting situation that neither Russian nor Ukrainian we know. In terms of literacy. My mother tongue is Russian, but we did not teach it at school because we were passionate about their independence. But they taught the Ukrainian language in which no one speaks, and it is understandable what results from learning the language in which you do not speak. Our generation taught spelling thanks to the automatic correction of MS Word, and now FireFox and, of course, Google.
And thank you to all those who insult analphabets on the forums and everywhere, this forced the text to be written first in Word, and then inserted and sent.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №70142
 17.09.2012
Sadetti: You can take Smoke or Grey with you.
Sadetti: Smoke usually gives a sharp pitch, and Grey is not in a hurry, as if enjoying.)
Is he a sadist?
There is no Aikido. When he is cheating on someone, he must be a clever coworker. The type of "your mistake was that you stood close and did not notice the hand on the control", then as a webet and says something like "the blow should go from the inside and should not be filled with nonsense, the pure movement is caused by the lukewarm calm of the inner balance coming from the heart", then as a whistle on the pillar and something like that will say))) He is generally a fun little)))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №70141
 17.09.2012
Dr. Morf: Yesterday I refused to eat ice cream, today I got sick. I fucked myself somewhere.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №70140
 17.09.2012
Post from JJ:
...
If I have a baby now.
5.5 mes, 6500 and 5800 kg
...

The kids were delighted with 6 tons each.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №70139
 17.09.2012
chestnuts (00:56:21 16/09/2012)
Blessed
chess (00:56:25 16/09/2012)
It is epic
chestnuts (00:56:28 16/09/2012)
Epicly *
chestnuts (00:56:38 16/09/2012)
I go to the kitchen and take a cup.
chestnuts (00:57:04 16/09/2012)
I go in, I remember that I broke a full cup of tea - well, how can I not shake a fresh drink for the night?
chestnuts (00:57:18 16/09/2012)
I open the refrigerator to get milk.
not_dreamer's (00:57:55 16/09/2012)
and?? to
chestnuts (00:57:57 16/09/2012)
And then a branch suddenly hits me and says with such a Jedi voice: “You don’t want to spat anymore... you want to be so much.”
chestnuts (00:58:02 16/09/2012)
Cheerleader XD
not_dreamer's (00:58:20 16/09/2012)
and ROFL

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №70138
 17.09.2012
From correspondence with a friend on the purchase of a new comp

The Montanero:
You better tell me your opinion... in the area of 800 euros - would you advise to take from boxes - under toys?! to
by Dmitry:
from under the old TV box berry, in them a lot of toys fit

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №70137
 17.09.2012
Bullseye: I need to scratch my mom on the chewbacks x)
Bullseye: Not in the real sense...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №70136
 17.09.2012
It’s really cool for those who can afford not to have an iPhone.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №70135
 17.09.2012
In Russia, attempting to exercise constitutional rights is an administrative offence.
And trying to get angry about this is a criminal offence.

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №70134
 17.09.2012
My friend came from Germany. A lot of impressions. Among other things, commercial information, in the form of a T-34 tank for sale. Since the tank was partially reason-completed and at the price of the metal I was interested in it. The issue of delivery was easily solved. The only problem is the border. My example dialogue with the declarant during consultations.
I need a license from the Ministry of Defence of the Russian Federation as military equipment.
I - But after all, the tank is Russian, so it is re-export.
Then you must provide a document on the payment of customs duties when in 1944. The tank crossed the border.
I had to give up.

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