bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №19174
 13.08.2009
In a small village, his grandfather built a house for him by a wealthy son.
On one of the quiet evenings, the grandfather sat and watched the TV in the living room on the first floor.Nothing predicted trouble, but here in the wall flew a straw. From the cabin, half into the living room, the driver (B) was driving with a sense of humor.
He goes out, cries out, and this dialogue occurs:
Daddy, how to go to Singapore.
Grandfather (who also turned out to be a humorous man) calmly turning his head: - You will turn the TV to the left.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №19173
 13.08.2009
The store, to the extent known, for sale, etc. “Arafats,” they are shamaks. The headsets are. There are three - two children of Omonovs and a seller. One child is an ordinary closet somewhere 190cm and kilos under 120, all of this, but in comparison with the second - it looks like a medium-sized, because the second resembles a dwarf, proportionally increased in size to a height of under 2 meters. This healthy man tries to wrap the schemes according to the seller’s instructions and quietly cries:
- Fuck, how do I get that shit, I can't do the size is small?
- No, the biggest, no more, - the seller replies unconsciously, looking at the shirt.
The second child quietly shakes in the fist:
We have a small one, right? When we were in the emergency, he was the only one who was allowed not to wear a helmet.
Why is? The seller asks.
They were still sitting on it like tubes. The anti-gas is like a respirator. Somewhat immense.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №19172
 13.08.2009
In Russia everything is not easy, in Russia everything is just far away.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №19171
 13.08.2009
I don’t care how long it will take! The important thing is to quickly...

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №19170
 13.08.2009
· ¤ · 27·23·04·03; <Dimaka> “¤ DURACELLKA ¤” for the 4th nick)) a heaven of 2 words?

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №19169
 13.08.2009
a friend in childhood had small problems with him..with the household shorter..well with who does not) after the operation comes mean to the doctor..she told him everything to do bla bla bla..and at the end adds.."smelt manganese until it falls off".. silence 5 seconds.."in the sense of shov".. :)))

[ + 42 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №19168
 12.08.2009
My husband left living alone. I need to wash things, but the washing machine is for me an unknown Aztec centrifuge.
I spent the whole day at work asking the girls how it worked. Asked to photograph and bring to show, refused to go home despite martini and shampoo.
The guys suggested a more realistic option to come to the Leningrad highway and there for 2000. Working as a housewife for an hour.

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №19167
 12.08.2009
Watch the movie "The Broken Cobra". The robbers are launching two missiles with nanomits on two targets.
Guys in the Pentagon: The missiles are fired at two targets. The first flies to Moscow, it has to be shot down at any cost. The second flies to Washington.
The voice from the room: Fuck her.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №19166
 12.08.2009
And to our boss, I’ll cheat... There’s a complaint – it’s his fault.
No matter what:
The engines are too loud (it’s on the A320!!!!)
I am not allowed into the cabin for any reason, I am not a terrorist.
Why do we fly so long, other companies fly 2 hours less, and don't shake my head I know you better.
Why don’t you have a smoking room? This "Nicorette" does not help me!!! to
How do you not remember me? I was flying here with you a year ago... Well, maybe not with you personally, but you are communicating with each other!

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №19165
 12.08.2009
Yesterday, a familiar thought issued: “Everyone in the school” and “they cheated on each other”, but then on social networks all of a sudden became friends!

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №19164
 12.08.2009
From the topic:
xxx: where did the tradition of making them in the Lithuanian style with the end of "us"
YYY: What does the Lithuanian order have to do with it? Have you heard anything about the Latin language, or the whole village?
What's the difference, Latvia or Lithuania
Picked, Picked

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №19163
 12.08.2009
My girlfriend’s conversation with me, moved for a few months to another city for study.
I: Damn, Lear...there’s something I suddenly wanted with you...this.)
It is to onanism!

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №19162
 12.08.2009
I have lived in a dormitory for five years. During this time 4 directors changed, and the scratched nail inscription on the wall of one of the stairs "Director - Pidoras" always remains relevant.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №19161
 12.08.2009
Beware of women, they are suffering forever! Either a lack of male attention, or an excess, and sometimes just some unknown jerk.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №19160
 12.08.2009
Oleg, let’s talk to you! Not like the man I just slept with, but just like a man with a man!
O_O

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №19159
 12.08.2009
The American swallow begins. temporarily settled with a Haitian, whose name is Igor Kerensky, has nothing to do with Russia, just the parents are choked.

The original parents

My sister’s name is Dmitry. :)

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №19158
 12.08.2009
I am a poet, and I will say with poems,
Coming to work in the morning,
I open the abyss and see,
The trouble ended:

Megaphone, Tymoshenko and Ossetia
The blonde is driving.
I met my fucking grandmother.
Let’s go along with you XDDDDD

“I was fucked in the store.”
“The boss is an idiot.”
“Fucking, sickness is not sickness,
If she doesn’t get in her hand.”

“You are a fool, Fede!” – “Sama Masha is a fool.”
It is very, of course fun.
But where is this, our powerful Russian?
Something is wrong with humor.

What did I want to say? Yes, a little
In a simple language:
Petrosian, in the Petrosian
Peterson is chasing, chasing.

If you have a sense of humor
And the word “Huy” is funny to you.
Say straight, clearly and loudly.
Fuck the shit!

[ + 90 - ] Comment quote №19157
 12.08.2009
This is what the US and Russia say is a “reboot”. In my opinion, nothing like that. A few words from the book “Barack Obama. The boldness of hope.” which upset me.

The pro-Russian forces were frankly delighted because despite the flags, demonstrations and personal courage of Yushchenko, Ukraine remained dependent on its former master.

“The United States won the Cold War not simply because it surpassed the USSR in arms, but because American values took over in the court of international public opinion.”

“As long as Russia and China retain their large armies and have not completely rid themselves of the instinct to pressure all by force... we will sometimes have to perform the role of sheriff of slavery, a worldwide role. It will not change – and it should not.”

And finally, my favorite one. About the 2nd World.

The left underestimated the Soviet aggression, believing that, given the losses of the Soviet Union and the decisive role in the victory of the Allies, Stalin was sure to have reconciled.

This is their conviction – they consider us a country that lost more people in this war.
Maybe somebody will be interested. Sorry that’s not funny. But that is the matter. I just want nobody to have any illusions about it.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №19156
 12.08.2009
Quote from the blog:

I went out to squeeze on the field in October, the mint came from somewhere. They say, “I found a place to suck, this is a municipal house!” After 150 rubles, the house became normal.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №19155
 12.08.2009
I am
Salute to Marin
She
Hi Lohka, and I am now on a diet, I lose weight
I am
Okay, where is my bag?
She
I accidentally ate it.
I am
Do you think you are losing weight without the letter "D"?! to

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna