bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №132339
 19.08.2016
Man is a creature that always hopes for the best. In you, women, this is most often expressed in changes ("and fish chew, and on... sit"). We are more honest, there is a better option - goodbye.

You know what I will say? A truly honest person of any gender does not consider his companion as "one of the options" and does not stumble on the sides where there is something else to give. If well - live, if bad - disagree and don't fuck the brains of the other side. And from your life views you are rotting. I don’t think a smart woman won’t feel that.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №132338
 19.08.2016
It was a little about something else.
It’s about the fact that when it comes to going to Zags directly, the guy says – I don’t need it.
The girl goes to the one who needs to.
How could you break our relationship, and what did you miss?? to

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №132337
 19.08.2016
xxx: caught once long ago webalta, was lazy to take out, sat with her
XXX: Send a Message
XXX: What has rushed into stupidity Amigo
XXX and attention
xxx: He removed the webtalk, and after,removal of amigo, chrome works normally
xxx is 10 out of 10

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №132336
 19.08.2016
Just at the fuel station TP confused the column numbers and poured 15 liters of diesel into my tank
Did she put the slang in your bag too?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №132335
 19.08.2016
Therefore, it is funny when guys pathetically shout, "What do you have this stamp!"" Dear, you are not ready to name your girlfriend in all respects - don't be surprised that one day she will leave.
— — —
As for me, the stamp is the willingness not only to be together, but also to have common children. Such a stamp gives a woman a greater legal protection precisely as a mother. But the presence or absence of a stamp on a single gram does not make you more or less favorite.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №132334
 19.08.2016
In the mid-1990s, the mother decided to rebuild the hallway, which did not have heating.

The roof was removed from the adjustment, doors and windows were dismantled, one box of brick was left (for experts, the brick was placed on the floor).

It was summer, I was a little fuck 11-12 years old on vacation. About what my mother wanted to do with the adjustment I did not know and how I was before the light bulb at all. One beautiful morning, when my mother was at work, my sister was in school, and I, as a mega-independent man, remained alone at home for the elder (over the dog and the cat), I decided that it was time for me to get involved in the process of building - rebuilding. I decided that once everything is broken around, the brick box is also to be removed. Breaking the bricks with a hammer was boring and not productive, this is why I took a piece of pollen and as a mural tool from "Well, wait!" I started crawling on the walls! The pieces of the brick were flying in all directions, and I felt like a superhero.

Having broken everything up to the foundation, I sat down to rest. Through the sedimentary dust I saw my titanic work, as suddenly in my head came a thought: "and my mom wanted to dismantle it, or maybe I just thought to cover it with bricks? “” And here I really barely looked at it. What to do? ! to and panic. I didn’t want to wait for my mother from work and get tired alone, losing in my head the scenes of my own murder. It was decided to run to the telephone cabin and call the mother to work - to give up, so that by the evening the rumor was gone and got used to the thought that her son is an idiot.

Having found out that the accessory was still wanted to demolish, I stated that I was ready to help and immediately commit to disassembly! After listening to the safety instructions, I ran home on cotton legs. In the evening, I was declared a hero and a mother's assistant, awarded with snacks and allowed to walk more.

I told my mother about how it really was only ten years later. Be careful with the initiative. All are good!

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №132333
 19.08.2016
When people have nothing to do, they do nonsense. I am not pretending to be original in expressing this, in essence, extremely obvious truth, but nevertheless, it is exactly so. I got bored and I did a stupid deed that I will probably regret for the next three years.
Did you go to the second high?
HGH: In Doctoral Studies

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №132332
 19.08.2016
Recalled today the story of his friend, who was arranged in a large enterprise in his specialty.



The fact is that a friend is an excellent specialist in his field (technical education). The company in which he worked was closed. Not finding a job in his region, he decided to move to the capital. On the recommendation of a friend sent a resume to one of the large enterprises. Reply from the recruiter on Email: you approach us, call by such a phone.



A friend calls HR. Agreement for a meeting. He comes for an interview. In the office were a girl (recruiter) and the head of the department where my friend would work.



A friend spoke perfectly with the boss, answered all the questions, himself was actively interested in the functionality. The recruiter was silent all that time. The meeting came to an end, the boss said that the answer will be given the next day (possibly another person will be interviewed).



The girl delayed my friend to write down all the details (see job certificate, military ticket, diploma, etc.). ) is Then I started asking questions about family and other things. Something the girl didn’t like my friend: he spoke rude, interrupted, asked stupid questions. My friend said directly, “Girl, I may not like you, but why do you have such a disgusting conversation with me? “” He said he would be called back the next day.



The next day no one called. My friend decided to complain to a friend who recommended this company. He said so and so, only lost time, and the boss seemed to like it. His acquaintance asks what the name of the boss (working in the same company), which a friend gives a direct answer. 30 minutes later, my friend receives the internal number of the boss he was talking to during the interview. call to him. The following dialogue will follow (no name will be given):



Hi, we talked to you yesterday.

Hello, what did you call?

I wanted to know what didn’t make you?

How did he not arrange? The boss asked, but you refused.

In other words, did you refuse yourself? I waited for a call from you all day.

So HR told me that you didn’t get the salary.



During the conversation it becomes clear that the recruiter told the boss incorrect information. Then the boss told my friend that the reason was her personal attitude: "So I didn't like it! “”



She was offered to resign on her own will without working the next day. Or they could be fired on the article, as there were several witnesses (including during the examination of flights in the staff office).

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №132331
 19.08.2016
The highest domestic mortality rate in Russia is due to drunkenness from the knife. All the knives must be removed. Can you imagine what a terrorist with a knife can do?! to

We need to remove sockets. You can’t even imagine what a terrorist can do with a complainant!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №132330
 19.08.2016
About the puppet.
I scratched the older cat - he is the most calm, put on his knees with a bubble up, I look for the umbilic... The cat spread all the legs, shakes like a transformator, until the eyes went away, the tip of the tongue between the claws pushed out. I did not find the puppet, but judging by the look of the cat, I could at least look for Nessie in his wool, only to chew the puppet. % of
I’ll go hunt two younger ones, maybe I’ll find them.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №132329
 19.08.2016
Do not be confused:

to this:

After all, in women, sexual arousal on the same organ is not bound, and the whole skin is not cut, in men, on the contrary, in pants, the main arousal is concentrated.

Talk about female circumcision and causes / consequences, you will eat a lot of new.

He did not know about erogenous zones vs. orgasm, and you are here about the consequences of female circumcision. If it wasn’t school, it was sad.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №132328
 19.08.2016
Black toner and black toner.
What are you going on with me...
:( and :(

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №132327
 18.08.2016
Here I read about ZAGS... The type of relationship to spoil for the sake of a stamp, if everything is fine...
And I think, if you love a girl, shouldn’t you first drag her there? And if there is no desire to drive there, it means that you are not sure of your feelings, it means that it is not love, but something completely different. Comfort for example.
Therefore, it is funny when guys pathetically shout, "What do you have this stamp!"" Dear, you are not ready to name your girlfriend in all respects - don't be surprised that one day she will leave.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №132326
 18.08.2016
I think our Stirlitz is much better than theirs Norris. You will think with your hands and feet. You try to defeat Mueller, and in the buddying at the General Staff.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №132325
 18.08.2016
#historic #life of wonderful people

And Lomonosov was not taught at all... who had to walk to Moscow and then obtain knowledge himself, while living hungry.

The father of the Sabbath, Vasily Dorofievich, was by no means a poor type, rather a very wealthy one, because the first in the north on personal money by the decree of Peter 1 built a shipyard according to the western pattern, the hucor, in addition, had large land possessions. So all the stories about the fact that the young genius smelled like a slave on the galleries a little, the most exaggerated.
The second point is that Mikhail fled to Moscow by no means for knowledge, but from under the crown, at night and in secret.
He proceeded by forging documents to the Slavic-Greek-Latin Academy, and then to the University of the Academy of Sciences in Petersburg (to the question of the absence of higher education in the RI of those times).
Well, and life is hungry...officially it is. But there is an unrecognized version that Mikhail was a bastard of Petrush and in his youth he was not poor, and the arts behind him were such that the term would be deadline.)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №132324
 18.08.2016
Add the earthquake:

He was born in 65 in a small working village. We had a phone at home and needed to tell the telephone worker which number to call - I was five years old, as I remember now. You had nothing at the end of the 90s. Are you from the planet Earth?

In the mid-1980s, a new building. I had to wait four years on the phone. I don’t see anything criminal in the original.

There was no phone in my family until 2000. There was no stupid money. So in the mid-1990s, when my mother became very ill, I was six or seven years old running to my neighbor on the fifth floor to call an ambulance, and it was good that the neighbor was at home, otherwise we and my brother would remain orphans (3 years at the time). Everything happens, don’t judge by yourself.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №132323
 18.08.2016
I make cakes on order. I ordered a lot of biscuits in the shape of biscuits, but the most unusual was a brain-shaped cake with the inscription: "Eat this, and my no longer touch!"

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №132322
 18.08.2016
This is this misery:

I’m going to go to Zack for two reasons:
1) Fucked his jealousy, being basically nothing to me, just a fuck.
2) I have the opportunity to obtain citizenship in another country, if we are unmarried, then its legalization there becomes a big problem.

Why marry someone who is just a shit?
Why go fucking to another country?
Why live with a man if, except for an idol, nothing connects him?
Why do grandmothers look for fools if they then complain about what a fool her husband has? © Philosopher

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №132321
 18.08.2016
Is that this program?

What alternative personality Smolny Institute called a high school.
Discover the program of this institution. I’m afraid you won’t put her even under the gun.

The program included training in Russian literacy, geography, arithmetic, history, foreign languages, music, dances, drawing, secular manners, various types of household.
In my secondary school it was more and more (foreign in general was 3: English, French - at the same time - and in 9-10 classes to them added also Latin). has not died.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №132320
 18.08.2016
It is a pity that the childhood misconceptions didn’t last long, and that they were again scattered. I have a new positive topic.

In the first class, my teammates and I slid down on a blendamete tube to cut it and find out how the stripes are arranged inside. What experiments did you do as a child?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna