bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №142594
 29.06.2017
I watched the following picture this morning: a man came to Hover with his aunt in special clothes. They walked around the courtyard and wrapped large holes in squares and measured something there. After they left, a man in shoes came out and completed the smaller pitches. A brigade of workers.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №142593
 29.06.2017
“Assad is preparing a new chemical weapon in Syria, whether he wants it or not,” the White House said.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №142592
 29.06.2017
There will be beer, there will be chips.
There will be chips, there will be chips.
Hm, you have won.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №142591
 29.06.2017
Recently, many large companies have been opening up developments in the field of neural networks. Are they not approaching the end of the world and the coming of the Antichrist?
Zeus and Perun are not allowed.
Zzzz: Well then it’s okay.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №142590
 29.06.2017
If long and patiently, sitting on the bank of the river, you can see how it will float with a bowl of strawberries in its legs.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №142589
 29.06.2017
DR.C: A serious state institution, in fact a monopoly in the sphere of project inspection involving budget financing. There is a whole expert and analytical department... and which does not see the difference between profit and revenue. I have everything.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №142588
 29.06.2017
Prose fund for men 100 000 - 60 000 - 30 000
for women 60 000 - 30 000 - 15 000
Distance is the same
Equality in Action, Ch.
Q: In the sense of equality?
Like heresy the same, but the aunt will give less.
Do you not notice strange things?
M: Although the fact that the organizer seems to like to look at men in a shirt rather than girls in a swimsuit makes you think, yes.
Can I steal this phrase and use it?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №142587
 29.06.2017
and Yashenka

On some holiday, whether New Year or March 8th, they sat at the table at work, and it suddenly came about the ovaries - who loves what. It turned out that for this simple dish in the vast majority is acceptable a single sacred recipe. Someone fries eggs only with tomatoes, someone with green onions, someone with one and the other, someone with bread, someone with sausages, etc. The infinite diversity. The degree of baking of the ideal ovary and the type of oil used should also be only specific and no other. The winner was an employee who, in a family of three people, each roasted an egg for himself, exclusively according to his individual recipe, with his own preferences and on his own individual bowl.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №142586
 29.06.2017
I sell a video card, just bought, did not play games, did not put in the computer
XX: Not a bit not a coin.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №142585
 28.06.2017
I think the Petya encryptor was developed by Russian hackers to defile the name of another Peti. Now he will be associated with a fuckingly written extortionist who asks for money but is not given.
Yyy: In real, Petya also asks for money, and he is not given either.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №142584
 28.06.2017
I'll raise the server, I'll call it a Star, and I'll guess a wish every time it falls.

[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №142583
 28.06.2017
DR.C: I saw the demotivator "We are from that generation that installed games from disks". Oh wow, I was surprised. We installed games with discs. The disc, Carl I will never forget this feeling when the archive of the game on 7-8 discs and you unpack and pray that none of them are broken, then the game will not be.)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №142582
 28.06.2017
AAA: Yashenka should be a splinter.
What about Salmonella?
AAA: mix separately, a special container should be in the kitchen.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №142581
 28.06.2017
We sit with the boys and drink coffee. Then there is one dialogue:
Is there a toothbrush?
(In a dirty toothbrush - a toothbrush?)
Why to you?
Yes, the cable tried to eat, something stuck in the tooth.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №142580
 28.06.2017
In China, a woman threw a coin in the engine of an airplane.

Commentary

I know she wasn’t childish...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №142579
 28.06.2017
In Surgut, the ritual shop was in the same building with a kindergarten. The tombs were carried in front of the children. Even memes have appeared about the fact that children are digging holes on a walk, in groups there is a grave silence and they have a dead hour.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №142578
 28.06.2017
The Vice President is on vacation. While she is on vacation, in her office repair. Where her secretary is is unknown. Probably somewhere in the building. Today we wondered if we didn’t know where the secretary was. We said no, and advised to search on the floor. They answered that they don’t know what she looks like. Then my boss tried to describe her appearance:
She is small, tall, married and has a son.
I wonder if they found her on such signs?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №142577
 28.06.2017
This is something else!

The fire of paranoia erupted with a new force.

I thought yesterday that it would be time to program because there is no money and I want to eat.
And the advertisement immediately showed me "Programming Courses" and "Food Delivery".
They know something!

You probably didn’t read about a girl from America to whom the Target store chain started sending ads and coupons on newborn products before she learned she was pregnant. In principle, she found out. Papanya Yeny has struck hysteria in a local store - he said, as you dare, she is a teenager! - and the daughter decided that it was not enough, and did a test. Target issued her previous purchases, not for pregnant women, but the big date algorithm is not a shirt - she bought what attracts future mothers. Advertisers know more about you than you sometimes know about yourself.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №142576
 28.06.2017
[10:41] Gennady: The harsh realities of the solitary life - I walk around the apartment, I look for socks like mushrooms - I will find, I will not find where they go and which can be collected and which not.
[10:42] ZeD: You still cut them, or suddenly worms.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №142575
 28.06.2017
Before yesterday I looked for some pieces in the closet in the evening, then I watched - the door was opened, took and closed (cube). I go out in the morning, there is no cat. I searched, there is nowhere. I open the closet, the door leaves, and from the small space between the shoe boxes the cat is selected by the rear) The poor man slept all night standing) The other would turn around, and this nobody, a Spartan)
She came out, fell on her back, rugged her legs in different directions and slept until lunch.

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