bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №74634
 21.12.2012
Girls regularly ask to increase their breasts in photoshop... very, though, embarrassed ask. I usually reassure "Okay, boys also ask to increase". The girls in response say "bggg!"

So this is not "bigg", but the biceps.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74633
 21.12.2012
I got somehow into the hospital with, sorry, hemorrhoids.A comrade came to visit me, and issued a deadly sentence-For what I respect you, it is because you are not a pederast. And looking at the stinging explained to me - there are no hemorrhoids in the pylori.As I remember, the rust immediately attacks.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №74632
 21.12.2012
I’ve grown like a monkey’s ass :(
I think you look good...
I’m going to cheat you, but you’ll look beautiful anyway!
I am serious, I like it.
Oh yeah, I said it!
Okay, go go, get rid of the shit.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №74631
 20.12.2012
Tag: take me away from here
xxx: father found in karaoke online
H is : ((

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №74630
 20.12.2012
There is such a popular winter entertainment - pulling the heater.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №74629
 20.12.2012
DrNovikov: Generally speaking, this analogy came to mind:

A neighbor knocks at your door and says, “Let me go, I want to see your telecome, drink a beer and fall on the couch.”
You answer him, “I will not let you, you beat your wife.”
He said to you "Are you oh**l? Are you sovereign in my affairs? Let me go to you, Naah Yopta! Soon to go!"
You say to him, “I don’t want to let anyone who beat his wife come to me.”
He says to you, “Well, then I will also break the children, Naah, Yopta!”

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №74628
 20.12.2012
I love my school.)

Fuck me, look at me. You don’t think that the guy is from Mahatma.
-Why do you have someone talking to you as soon as someone starts talking to you - necessarily from the mahatma? Maybe he is just sick!

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №74627
 20.12.2012
Zombie: I'll be washing out of fire.
Look at things real. Where will you take it? I have a lump in my warehouse – that’s it!
HHH: Well of course! You are always so! Look at things real when we discuss the zombie apocalypse!

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74626
 20.12.2012
In the morning, I stood in the entrance, on the 9th floor, smoking. A man is 40 years old sitting in the elevator. From the 8th floor:
Oh there! Go on the eighth!
Take a taxi, not a taxi. The door closed, the elevator went.
Here is the case!
I am a goat? I’m right now on the eighth ride.
The elevator stops, the stairs top two pairs of legs :)

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №74625
 20.12.2012
Yale replied to his sister to buy a long-burning barrel at the end of the world. I receive SMS:
"But I still had to take the barrel. So tomorrow there will be nothing, start kidding on me, and I’ll knock you on the head!

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №74624
 20.12.2012
In a women’s consultation:
The stage of pregnancy?
of preparation :o)

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №74623
 20.12.2012
Symbolically, however, that the corporate will take place on December 21, I always assumed that the director wanted us all to die at work))

[ + 61 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74622
 20.12.2012
What will happen if an asteroid falls to Earth ~1km in diameter?
yyy> well, there will be an explosion
Q&A and Q&A?
UUU> will die those who will be nearby
Q&A and Q&A?
Ba> the rest will cover with a cloud of dust
Q&A and Q&A?
Q&A: The climate is changing
Q&A and Q&A?
The leafy trees will begin to die, but the needles will not be so critical and they will flood the planet.
Q&A and Q&A?
Hey> fucking, there will be a big crop of cones, the white with the broths will reproduce and capture the world!!! to

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74621
 20.12.2012
The British are not distant people. An Englishman at my job uses a neighbor’s unlocked Wi-Fi network to download a pirate torrent. To the question "Why?" he honestly replied: If anything, then the police will not come to me, but to him home.)))

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №74620
 20.12.2012
Ricco^: Through a dream, I hear a son (3 years old) beating his husband and saying - Pope, consecrate, consecrate!
Husband through a dream: My son, I consecrate you, I consecrate you.
And then the son answers, “Yes, daddy, blin, give me a phone, I went to the pot.

[ + 52 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74619
 20.12.2012
The newspaper "Izvestija", yesterday, the article "Post of Russia accused foreign colleagues of slow work".

[ + 23 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74618
 20.12.2012
Inscription in the toilet:
How many pisses do not shake, a couple of drops in shorts.

We would already set up the production of men's cotton caps, with holes and wings.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №74617
 20.12.2012
XX: Glad to see you today.
YYY: I noticed it was glowing. By the way, I was happy too :)
XXX: Even my hands grabbed me
YYY: Cho was near, so he caught it.
I have a shirt underneath :(
XXX: The Fool

[ + 26 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №74616
 20.12.2012
In the runnet live discuss the "adequate answer" of the State. Duma on Magnitsky's list - a law prohibiting the adoption of Russian children by Americans. If you think about it, it’s shit! You, shit, don’t let our corrupt men play at Disneyland, so fuck you, not our orphans and disabled children! Thirsty Dolls! Americans should be banned from buying Russian oil. This is adult. and ;)

[ + 7 - ] Comment quote №74615
 20.12.2012
Today I will eat my wife and fuck dinner. I tried the opposite, but it didn’t work.)

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna